Life in the Country Side

Hibiscus flower by the road

"an Amorsolo setting, a rice farm"

"banana trees close to a flowering plant along the rice fields"

"the nipa hut, close to the rice fields"

"the road i travelled"

all photos were taken by orange tulip in her latest exploration

i was able to visit a small farm somewhere in the countryside of Cotabato and the experience continues to thrill me up to this moment.last night i took a bath close to the half-century old trees with fireflies, under a few stars lighting up a dark sky. i relished sleeping with the windows open with the night and early morning breeze lightly touching my face. i had a great sleep and was late for breakfast of fresh fruits especially picked for me earlier this morning.


i sought a company of a little girl and had a brief walk outside the farm, in a small road nearby. i did not mind even if this girl keeps on telling me that almost everybody keeps staring at me. i simply told her they do not know me that's why. she argued i am gorgeous that's why. i told her i just look a little different and stopping briefly along the way, took these photos.


it has been a while since i had not seen a nipa hut, then the common shelter for Filipinos which was of course changed to what they think as better houses well because they are made of stone and cement and the commercial house construction materials. i still wish i can sleep in one of the nipa huts close to the farm and relish the pure joy of simple living.


what i found really remarkable is that, amidst the news of recent bombing in Iligan City(Lanao de Norte, a charming city i was able to drop by in June of last year on our way to Cagayan de Oro from Zamboanga) this small village with a combined population of Muslims and Christians are seemingly living their lives normally. i am glad to see farmers and other people planting rice in a farm nearby, the men bringing some farm harvests to the market and the women and chidren helping each other in their daily activities. in particular, i saw a Muslim woman and her child preparing for what seemed to be something to be used in their rice farm. they looked so content doing the chore together, and even though i wanted to introduce myself and start a brief chat with the mother and his little boy, i became content watching them from afar. it was a sight exactly opposite of how troubled Mindanao has been, with scared children and women running as seen in television and newspaper reports about five months ago. in contrast, what i saw this morning was-a lovely sight to behold. how i wish i can linger for a few minutes more, but the little girl accompanying me on my walk has decided to go ahead, so i have to catch up with her pace.



and i wish that the sight i saw will continue. and i wish peace both in the hearts of these villagers and in their village and all other troubled villages not only in Cotabato but in the neighbouring provinces and the entire Mindanao.



and i wish that it would not be too much- for me to be wishing for peace in the Philippines, India, troubled parts of Asia, Middle East and the rest of the world.

Christmas Trees and Artworks

these photos were taken while these Christmas trees and artworks were on exhibit at
"The Block" SM North in Quezon City, Philippines.accordingly, these were created by various artists, across ages.

i wish i was able to express my appreciation to their works personally. the works are all beautiful.indeed, they all are!

Nativity Scene

Christ, the Son of God, born in humble circumstances

the Shepherds, and Three Wise Men giving homage the King of Kings

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given. And His name, shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father Prince of Peace
- from the Song For Unto Us a Child is Born
(Handel's Messiah)

for the past couple of years, i had this penchant for visiting and taking photos of the Christmas tree as they come in various shapes, sizes, colours. for this year however,i had a huge interest in visiting various locations where the nativity, a reenactment of Christ's birth on earth is being done. of course the most interesting aspect of it is the baby Jesus born of the Virgin Mary.yet somehow, it gives me much excitement to note that the Three Wise Men travelled from afar, with the exceptionally beautiful star as a guide. they brought precious gifts and more detalis about the Christmas story is told in the bible, in books and in Christmas carols.


many years after, Christmas is filled with lots of lavish gatherings, festivities and merrymaking. moreover, the gift giving is also practiced and it brings joy both to those who give and receive gifts.


and in this world where recession has loomed as a result of the Wall Street collapse, and the gasoline nosediving to around $34 per barrel from around $9o less than five months ago, it is still heartwarming to remember that the real reason for the season is Christ's birth in a humble manger in Bethlehem, a couple of thousand years ago, bringing love and hope to mankind.



this is the reason why amidst the turmoil and the hardships beyond our control, we can still smile and hope for better days and perhaps happier days ahead.



yeah, Christ is the reason for the season. happy Christmas!

Lemon Tea

my lemon tea, with few chocolates

the relaxed ambiance that delighted me

i was in the mall last saturday- a feat i haven't done for a while. i was hoping to watch the sunset by the bay and meet my brother afterwards. i was only able to do the latter and because it was the second day of having an upset stomach(probably as a result of eating other foods aside from my regular veggie and fruit diet on a party), i tried to find a not so crowded place to have a drink. i asked the lady in the counter upon placing an order which is their best selling, and lemon tea was suggested. true enough, the tea tasted well and i felt a little better after a few sip. i wanted to ask for a hot water refill but the store is starting to close. tea is meant to be enjoyed and not to be sipped in a hurry so i settled on my first tea serving.

but then again, i needed to go to the nearest pharmacy and buy some medicines for my stomach. yet my lemon tea experience was fantastic.

Primo

" watching sunset in St Kilda Beach", by orange tulip

" watching the boats in St Kilda", by orange tulip

"watching people in St Kilda Beach", by orange tulip

A friend loveth at all times

-the Holy Bible

Today is Primo's birthday. It is also the 60th anniversary of the United Nations declaration of the Universal Charter of Human Rights. I take time to appreciate Primo for practically granting me all my rights to express myself. I would not dwell on the human rights anniversary and concerns related thereto but would write all about Primo. I haven't seen him nor communicated with him since March of this year (a crook took my mobile phone away i lost all my numbers with it) and i have been up to other concerns. Last year, when he failed to hear from me at all for a couple of months( he got used knowing every big and small details of my life like a blood brother) he was very worried and tried his mighty best to find any news about me from our other friends. After our little talk over the phone and finally meeting him again (sadly at the wake of his father after two years of not seeing each other) he stopped(i hope) worrying even if he could not hear any news from me for quite a while. By now probably he knows that even though i am not always well, i always strive to be happy.

I met Primo in November of 2003 but it was only in December of that year that we started talking. Fresh from a verbal assault in public "discourtesy" of a lady who is a friend of one of his friends, i shunned people whom this lady has been connecting with- in whatever way. I have been practically unfair at that time but when someone is hurt and still hurting, like what i have been through- i did not care about fairness at the time. He was introduced by the president of our student organisation but i was unfriendly to him at the outset, simply because he was quiet and a bit reserved. He was pretty much an intellectual being a professor at the premier university in the Philippines and at the time that i met him, he was taking his doctorate studies as a scholar in the University of Melbourne. For someone trying to find her place under the sun leaving her Communication studies to do Political Science(my close friends tease me that i am a Tourism major because i love travelling while studying and enjoyed exploring all the possible places of interest in the uni and the city every single day), meeting someone like him is quite daunting for me.

I started really connecting with him when a close friend of my female friend has to go back to the country on a very urgent family concern. I have to accompany her in a farewell party hosted by Primo in his apartment. The philosopher and psychologist in him in a"truth and consequence" game has asked me a question i can still remember up to this time. " If there is any circumstance in your life that you want to change and capable of doing so at this time- what is it, and why?" I was hurting from a failed romance (without him knowing it) so that question hit me, bulls eye. I reponded by crying even though i abhor crying in public, much more in front of strangers. They have to stop this fun session, allowed me to cry and gave me cold water to drink.(When we became close, and from a friend he turned out to become my brother- he heard me laughing as loudly as i can most of the time, he confessed that i scared him really well during that night, when i first set foot in his apartment.) We then both laughed about that incident and moved forward.

Another choir (aside from the university choral society where i sang along every week) had a very special number to celebrate the United Nations Day, and we were asked to invite friends over. I chose to invite him, because i wanted to get closer to him at the time although i was not expecting, (given his very tight schedule) for him to be there. Surprisingly, he arrived and we had lunch together afterwards, joined by another then male friend and my female friend close to him. That was the start of a beautiful friendship, and later on-kinship. Having a foster father who looked like a former president and he looking like the first son himself (although i do not look every inch of the first daughter, i was our foster father's favourite "daughter"), our close friends called us as we call ourselves the "first family". Primo and me fondly called each other based on the names in the "first family" and we both called our foster father "Dad" to our own and our listener's delight.

Over our friendship, or kinship for that matter, i have learned a lot of lessons from Primo. Numerous as they are, i will focus on a few outstanding ones. First, being an observant makes someone learn more about things and about people. Most of the time, specially in parties where we usually meet, he enjoys taking photos and sits by himself instead of socialising with others and meeting more people. Remembering my dear friend Edward's email sometime four years ago saying " i'd rather watch people dance happily, than me dancing sadly" and reminiscing the wisdom that Primo had by enjoying "watching people" i relish the experience of "watching people dance happily" since then, most of the time capturing moments using my camera. Yes, participant observation as quality researchers put it, in many circumstances not only during parties(which i have shunned away from a couple of years ago due to health concerns) have given me some form of joy and taught me valuable life lessons.

Second, Primo probably unconsciously taught me the virtue of listening. A good listener himself, he is extremely articulate in our candid conversations, intellectual discussion with my brilliant friends and even in a bigger group of people with various backgrounds. He looks quiet and unassuming at the outset but when he participates in any kind of conversation, one can discover how well read, well educated and well travelled he had been, yet his feet are always firmly planted in the ground. Now i do not participate in many conversations as actively as i had been- i now enjoy listening and learn from the lessons that my listening has given me. Moreover, as he has enjoyed being a confidante to almost all who had "personal troubles" i emerged to be at certain times became a "confidante" like him and enjoyed listening. I can still express my opinions after listening intently and accordingly, it has helped these people who approached me for " help". Now i realised that simply listening can help both friends and strangers alike, but in the process, has helped me too. An author in one of my father's books that i saw in his library wrote" one cannot experience everything in his own lifetime so one has to listen to the experiences of others, and learn lessons from it. "

Third, "he practiced what he preached," so to speak. One rarely gets few words of scolding from him but most of the time, his one liners or short statements are not only "thought provoking" but makes one think deeper, search his/her own innermost thoughts and feelings, do "soul searching" maybe, and realise that he's got a point which he usually always had. Unlike his churchmates who had been flaunting about the "new faith" that they embraced, or the "bible studies" and "prayer meetings" that they held yet lived differently in contrast to that expected of them, or the teachings that they have embraced. Primo, on the other hand, never talked much about his faith- he just lived by it and simply made a difference in the process.

Fourth, he has this considerably high level of tolerance both to the very pleasant and to the extremely unpleasant people that i knew in our small society of overseas students, pretty much practicing the idea of "unconditional love". Being the brat that i had been, i refused to party, dine and talk to few unpleasant and insecure people that have hurt me either intentionally or not and he understood me very well. He never asked, requested nor pushed me to befriend his friends that i disliked(and vice versa), but respected my feelings and waited until, in my own time-heal and forgive and finally reach out to them- without his prodding in any way. I have always been very straightforward and has been in trouble for standing by my opinions eliciting some unkind reactions from other people. I funnily remember now, three years ago, he never stopped ringing me until he finally talked to me. He warned me not to visit him in his apartment nor meet him up in the city because he received a threat from someone " to show me what i deserve" by probably berating me out(for an opinion that i expressed days earlier over a mundane issue) in public. Knowing fully well the trauma that i have been through from another lady , he became very protective of me like a kind big brother and he wanted to make it sure i would not undergo the same experience all over again. Among all our friends, aside from my dear Mummy Henny, it was Primo who fully understood my thoughts and feelings about a lot of things, and people. And he knew the guys i went out with- liked a little, liked a lot, disliked, almost, or probably fell in love with . Most importantly, he fully understood me simply because we belong to almost similar childhood, with almost similar family values and almost similar threads forming our moral fibers. He knew a lot of my secrets (well, around that time those were almost public knowledge anyway) but after some time, at his suggestion, i learned to select which topics would be discussed with new friends from that of old friends or even strangers. He recognised that i have the "gift of the gab" alright, but most often than not, this gift has worked to my disadvantage.

Fifth, along with my Mummy Henny, Primo showed me the fulfillment of performing through dance. I had no problem in singing but i had lots of issues when it comes to dancing in public. Since it was the "festival of nations" all international students organisations were required to render a performance as part of the cultural exchange. It took them, along with the president of our student organisation a lot of time and effort to make me participate after telling me that the role of a dancing princess was only fit for me. Primo, practically stopped writing his thesis outline then, to accompany me in the market, (along with the organisation's former secretary) for me to select and buy the stuff that i need for that dance. And thoughtfully, he patiently designed and did a couple of wonderful fans that is necessary for me to use in that performance. On the actual performance itself, i wanted to stop in the middle of it ( i was very nervous) but he, being with the next performers awaiting their turn told me sternly to " finish it off'" when i tried to exit unceremoniously so i had to go back to the stage and perform until my part was done. It was a big help that i have to do the dancing alone so any mistake/s committed was /were never noticed by the audience at all. In fact, i was complimented for the "fantastic dance" when i passed by a group of other students enthralled by my/our dance number. We were the most photographed group offstage later.

Sixth, he showed me the simple joy of staying home especially on a warm summer. Being away from the family, i looked at my apartment like a prison at some point so i always loved to be away most of the time and go home just before midnight for a shower and sleep. Our

"tea parties" at Mummy Hen's(they finally got a sofa bed for me for my sleeping over nights, my home being away from the uni) and visiting Primo in his apartment, watching and sometimes joining him cook then eating together aftewards have showed me the simple joys of simply staying home. What was very remarkable is that he was the first who cooked lamb steak for me and i was able to appreciate this dish (i always preferred beef) and from then on, i tried to learn how to use my own stove at home, and cook for myself those " experimental dishes" as he lovingly named it.

Seventh, he showed me that "art" itself is one, if not the best form of expressing one's appreciation to another. I had difficult times while studying overseas and after overcoming my compulsion to go to the casino alone to have fun instead of talking to friends and bothering them about my troubles, i rediscovered the joy of talking it out to the waves- so i relished going to my favourite beach alone. Later, he found out that going to St Kilda Beach was a huge part of my "coping" with personal difficulties. Some other days he took his time to accompany me there- the best place i am comfortable to "open up" about my personal troubles. I was undergoing another difficult time a couple of years ago and by instinct, he sent me a photo of this beach by e-mail(i had the luxury of checking my emails regularly then) which in many ways have been my refuge from it all due to its proximity to the city. That picture have comforted me in many ways. When my Mummy Henny visited in autumn of last year, he sent me his acrylic painting of the spot where i usually linger right in front of the beach, with a note of encouragement which i always read from time to time. I had that painting(i never knew he could paint really well until i saw his work!) framed and i always bring it with me everywhere i go. When my days are not well or whenever i am in pain, i look at that painting, and it brings huge relief and encouragement to me. And i thank God for giving me the gift of having a friend doubling as a brother in Primo. Sometimes i wonder if at some point he learned from me or he enjoyed my friendship or kinship when we were still in Melbourne. My musings were answered by the first artwork that he gave me(prior to going home for Christmas break) thanking me for the laughs that i gave him, and making his stay in Melbourne much memourable by being his sister. I still keep that card to this day and it never failed to make me smile.

Finally, Primo taught me that life involves "taking risks" all the time. The last time we saw each other was in February of this year, at the wake of his father. As usual, i got lost like i alwyas do being bad in directions-but he patiently waited for me to alight from the vehicle who took me where the wake of his father was, even if there was a continuous downpour. It was a happy reunion, regardless of the circumstances and it was a joy to meet his sisters and his mom. They are one big happy family and we hit it off easily, even to his friends. I felt like it was not a meeting for the first time. I felt like a cousin or kid sister being away for few long years that they missed, coming home for a reunion(especially when his eldest sister asked me about his personal, well, lovelife but i have learned his ways of evading personal questions and keeping secrets so they only got few clues about girls who probably liked him but i did not name any particular girl). Since it was raining continuously, the eldest sister and probably the most articulate of them all (he was the youngest and the only male in the brood) asked if they can probably postpone the burial supposedly scheduled the next day. Primo refused, taking in consideration of the people who have already filed leave from work, or travelled from far places to be able to make it in the burial. His statement was profound-" What is the guarantee that even if we postpone tomorrow's burial, the weather would be better the next day, and it would not rain, the next days after?" Life is all about taking small and big risks and right there and then, i learned another lesson from my dear brother Primo.

Have a happy birthday Brother Bear Primo. I wish you all the best and i hope to see you again soon. Enjoy your day! Cheers, cheers!

Second Candle of Advent: Peace

hoping for peace on earth

To take each moment

and live each moment

in peace, eternally.

Let there be Peace on Earth,

and let it begin with me.

-from the song " Let there Be Peace on Earth"

(Words and Music by Jill Jackson and Sy Miller, Circa 1955)

http://www.the-synergy.com/lyrics/ponearth.html

yesterday was quite memourable for me because i arrived an hour late for the Vesper Service in my favourite church in Manila, which unusually started an hour earlier from the regular time that i knew. i usually join the morning service but i was late so i opted to attend the vesper and to my surprise, it started an hour ealier. scrolling "the spire" where the announcement part is, i found out that it was sort-of experimental. the write-up about christmas as a celebration brought much inspiration to me.

i was quite disappointed missing lots of singing hymns, but regardless, i was quite happy to be able to catch the anthem and message part, down to the communion towards closing. the message was delivered very candidly but meaningfully- as compared to the very formal and typically evangelical style that i relish in the morning services.

i love listening to this pastor because clearly, he has a vast knowledge about almost anything. i consider him as an intellectual, with very impressive background, and armed with a degree from an American university, yet he is capable to "level off" so to speak, to his listeners of various background. however, his very candid style on that vesper is another interesting revelation about him. and boy, he did not mind singing as a part of his message, and he sings really well!

part of the message was an anecdote about a daughter's account of his father whom he has been away from for long seventeen years. there was an interplay of awaiting for the messiah, with hopes and excitement that it brings, and that of a young daughter(who grew up away from his father who has been working overseas as a chef) awaiting and finally spending quality time with her dad.

their reunion showed the difference between reality from the ideal and the daughter was very upset to find out that her dad was human enough to have the so called "vices". she discovered that he drank too much and smoked a lot, leading to his lung cancer. there was a struggle on her part , either to resent his father's presence or just forgive him and make his few days in earth a lot happier. she, along with her siblings and mother chose the latter.

the pastor stressed the issue of putting else's feet on someone's shoes and being away from home for quite a time, and studying overseas i can easily relate to the struggles, pains and coping mechanism of someone away from home, much more from his country. and this is a lot more special case because i was away studying for less than three years but the subject was away to work and send money for his family for seventeen long years. quoting from the message it said " we have realised that drinking and perhaps smoking were coping mechanism to survive the loneliness, strangement, alienation that he experienced to give us a life." further it said " we decided to love him inspite of who he was and what he has done to himself. we put ourselves in his shoes. "

the pastor excellently made a simile on the unconditional love that we as humans have received from our Creator. and from the resentment that the daughter has felt towards his father, they decided to love and take care of him, regardless. qouting he said " there is a change of heart that is necessary in order to wait for the coming of the Lord."

it was the second sunday of advent so the second candle was lighted- the candle of peace. there was this usual partaking of bread and wine as part of the worship which are all emotionally and spiritually enriching. the singer in me has always considered singing as a part of worship so i love doing the hymns. the song let there be peace on earth was the closing song. it has been ages since i sang this song and i felt sublime. this is because a couple of weeks or so, i was looking at the mumbai tragedy in india, the unrest in bangkok, thailand and i rejoiced over the appointment of a new peace panel head in mindanao because he is a diplomat.

and i reckon there is still hope for peace and letting it begin with me is quite a hurdle, but trying to do so would make a lot of difference. and the image of the christmas decoration that i took in davao city in the christmas of 2007 came back to my mind. and so for the third time i have to upload this picture in this blog even i have used it for my cry for peace in mindanao. http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html, http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/continuing-cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html

the lines of the song " to take each moment and live each moment in peace, eternally" brought moments of reflection on my part. did i, on my best efforts, took each moment and lived each moment in peace over the past few days, months or years? if not- then probably i could start doing it today. why not?

yeah, let there be peace on earth- and let it begin with me.

Its December!

"Christmas at the Shang Plaza, 2007" by orange tulip

Remember

This December,

That love weighs more than gold!

~Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

i always looked forward for Decembers because i am fascinated by the colours and the moods that the festivities bring- yeah, Christmas is around the corner! let the celebrations begin!

but yes, i have to remember- love weighs more than any of these material things that delights me and perhaps everyone else. so i will be filling my travelling bag soon and make my way to give more love to my ageing parents, reconnect with my siblings and have fun with the kids!

and i have ro remind myself of the real reason for the season- Christ's birth bringing love and hope to mankind.

Giving Thanks

"a lovely sight to behold"

For flowers that bloom about our feet;

For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;

For song of bird, and hum of bee;

For all things fair we hear or see,

Father in heaven, we thank Thee!

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

i thank my God for the sunshine and the rain,

for letting me experience both joy and pain,

blessing me with family and friends

giving me strength and encouragements

to relish all my days

and to continue finding

the essence of my being

Yellow Tulip

"yellow tulip thrilling me"

If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom.

~Audra Foveo

On Pain

"where the road meets the sea"

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful.

But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”
-Paulo Coelho

Sweet November

orange and pink tulips, photo by Primo

refreshing fountain in NYC, photo by Minnie

orange and yellow Hibiscus at the park, photo by orange tulip

This month is special to me because

its my birth month
the month meant to remember those who have departed this world
every first Tuesday of the month is the celebrated Melbourne Cup in Victoria, Australia
its when the Remembrance Day is celebrated, to remember the fallen heroes of war
its when annual thanksgiving day is celebrated in the United States
the Presidential Elections in the United States is scheduled in November




and many momentous events i cannot yet remember!

Since i am on a holiday, i have selected few excerpts from all my writings since i started blogging in May. At last, a person supposedly private like me has gathered the courage to express my opinions and sentiments. I have also shared my favourite photos.

Here are the excerpts from reckons of spring:
orange tulip
Thanks very much my dear orange tulip and to the people who has been, in certain seasons- became a tulip in my life. Every smile, hug, kiss, pat on the back or simply saying "hello", "take care" and "God bless" have cheered me up in many ways, especially during those times when the sun does not seem to shine in my own world.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/orange-tulip.html


Memories
I miss the people who made me cry, those who listened and comforted me. Collectively, their memories make me happy. I cannot assert myself though, if these (and other memories i cannot yet share) and the people that i met along the way has made me a worse or a better person. However, i am thankful because they have helped me to become a totally different person- from the way i was.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/memories.html

Saying Goodbyes
Saying goodbye surely brings pain and loss- the degree of which depends on how such person have touched our lives. It is a very difficult thing to say and do but doing so trancends to peace of mind(no regrets or few regrets maybe) and it is like unloading a heavy luggage to make our travel easier. I have always struggled to say my own goodbyes, whether it may be the " temporary" or "permanent" ones. Yet i discovered that doing so, has always been-a liberating experience.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/saying-goodbyes.html






If
He has been very patient in writing mails, sending birthday cards by post, all of which expressing his deep love and his hopes and dreams for me. He does the same to my siblings too. Studying away from home, his long letters(and a few lines from mom's) has inspired me a lot "to keep going when the going gets tough". But the most precious and unforgetable letter i still keep up to now and reread from time to time was his first letter sent on the first month of my overseas studies. It made me cry with joy. He said "My beloved daughter, thank you so much for making me a very happy and proud father all these years".
If I have made him (and hopefully still do) a happy and a proud father- then probably I am a Woman- his daughter!
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/fathers-day-tribute.html

The Bridges of Madison Country
This is the reason why, upon reading the novel, Bridges of Madison Country, i dont cry anymore but smile and remember the City of Melbourne. Some things are not meant to last but sometimes chance although short encounters can change someone's life- if one takes the courage to take risks. My own experience has taught me not to live in the past and find fulfillment in the present. Moreover, it really showed me that true to its use, bridges connects roads-either in the country or in the city. I also realised that just like its intended use as an infrastructure, a bridge connects people's lives- in any way possible. And the memories of these bridges where i had been, makes me happy- even for a moment.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/bridges-of-madison.html

The Princess of the Stars Tragedy

I can go on and on, writing anything in this blog implicating anybody that I think should be responsible for this tragedy but I opt to stop to make my point. My previous arguments will point out that, the sinking of the M/V Princess is clearly, "an act of man." This does not necessarily mean that the sole responsibility lies on the “ master” alone as the Sulpicio Lines has tried to insinuate during that press conference but a combination of lack of capacity, lacking resources to operate fully, moral/ personal values of the concerned, social and political will on the part of the Sulpicio lines, the shipping industry and the concerned government authorities towards safeguarding the lives and property as the utmost concern when natural calamity like the typhoon enters the Philippine area of responsibility.

But we should not end up finger pointing those who we think are responsible or exonerating those who are not culpable in the tragedy. If we failed to learn our lessons in the past then probably we have to learn the lessons and do something about it. This asks for a closer look in the maritime laws, the implementation of these laws, continued or stronger fight against corruption and strengthening the capabilities of each government agencies like the weather forecasting agency and the coast guards and making the shipping industry more socially responsible. Together, we should work in order that no similar tragedy would happen again in the future.

And I wish that the lives of those who perished in this tragedy will not be treated as mere statistics.

I just hope that no similar tragedy of bigger or lesser extent would happen in the future. This also comes with the wish of not seeing this lady executive from Sulpicio Lines again on another press conference about another ship from their fleet. It’s sad that the shipping company can blame the weather, even God probably, the government agencies tasked to implement maritime laws but they at all cost would not admit that part of it, they are at fault over such fortuitous event.

I pray that the lady who had the courage to speak out her anger, agony and grief would in time, accept the circumstances no matter how hard it would be, find healing and move on with her life. And may all those survivors of the remaining 800 or so fatalities find solace in their terrible pains and searing losses.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/greed-and-princess-of-stars-tragedy.html

Baragatan Festival 2008
For a first-timer like me,"Baragatan" is successful to its superlative. True to its meaning, i came- and met them up- the beautiful place, its very warm people on a cold weather, and the exotic culture, all in one memourable night. Some people can never be lucky as i am. I look forward towards celebrating the future Baragatan festivals with them.

And next time, i will not forget to bring my friends, my camera and a big dinner plate.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/baragatan-festival-of-puerto-princesa.html

Peace
Not so long ago, in a world where happiness is usually equated with having achieved or acquired something, i have always argued that happiness is simply being content for who you are, where you are and who you are with. Yet i found out that still, outside circumstances and significant others, can still affect one's happiness. After several heart wrenching episodes in my life, i have realised that the road to inner peace resulting to inner happiness is simply being content-regardless.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/peace.html

Cure
" Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure"from the Hymn, Come Ye Disconsolate, Words by Thomas Moore 1816, Alt. Thomas Hastings 1831, Music by Samuel Webbe Sr. 1792

I was intensely affected by what seemed to be endless natural calamities bringing human sufferings to Myanmar, China and the Philippines. Every news of pain, of anguish, of losses has in one way or another caused me to feel bad about what's happening. Will these series human sufferings end? When?

Singing this hymn while attending the service in my favourite cathedral has gave me the answer. Yes, earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure- if we do not falter to believe.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/cure.html

Le but ultime de la vie
" The ultimate point of life is joy"
" Le but ultime de la vie c'est la joie"

Joy is just a three letter word but its meaning varies between individuals depending on their background or personal circumstances. Yet i reckon that no words can suffice to define or describe joy- it is just felt in the heart, maybe for a simple, huge, or probably for no reason at all. It might be a thrill of feeling in love transcending to joy. I also reckon that it is like an oasis in the desert bringing comfort to a weary traveller if he/she is lucky enough to discover but it is always there. Just like the oasis waiting to be discovered, joy is just inside our hearts. Outward circumstances might bring us disappointments, pain, or grief but if we truly find ways to rediscover, joy is just there within us.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/joy_23.html

A Park To Remember
Arguably, art should be a tool or an essence that can build bridges putting people together in appreciation and enjoyment, regardless of their background, status or personal beliefs and values.

That experience a year ago led to a reminder that i have to take care of myself the foremost, simply because i deserve it. I ceased to find fulfillment in seeing to it that someone's wishes would come true regardless of the inconveniences that would cost me. It beckoned to me that i am an individual with own wishes wanting to be fulfilled. Clearly, i am capable of making my own dreams and making them come true. Most importantly, i should be attending to my own concerns, and i reminded myself that i definitely know how to choose and fight my own battles.

Few days back, an author of an article made suggestions on having a happy life. Number one on his list was to de-blog (yes, to delete the blog) that brings sad memories. On the contrary, here i am blogging about not necessarily sad but sappy(sad and happy) memories. Yet expressing my opinions and sentiments just like what i did to very few trusted friends few days after the experience has not only helped me to cope, but found it pretty much liberating. And talking about any disappointment or pain a year after such experience-is a completion for the healing process, and makes moving on a lot easier and swifter.

I wish the park and its owner well, but as i have opted to be a humanitarian it will remain in my heart- a park to remember.

And to remember i always will, for reasons i have said and left unsaid.

http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/park-to-remember.html

Taking Risks
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.--Andre Gide
I have not learned my lessons over past failures and losses really well. When does a risk become worth taking? How would i know if it is best to just walk away from foreseen losses? Can possible losses really be foreseen? What if foresight have its own lapses and turns otherwise?

I reckon i have to lose sight of the shore for a longer time.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/taking-risks.html

A Cry for Peace in Mindanao
As a global citizen i join the world and the Philippines in its cry for peace, foremost of which is its war-torn Mindanao.

While many of the politicians and top government officials based in Manila are busy in expressing their contrasting opinions about the issues related to the "ancestral domain", i wonder how the displaced locales of North Cotabato and neighbouring provinces are faring. Do they have any food to ease their hunger? Do they have any medicine or medical attention to ease their pains? Can they ever sleep amidst the horror of the ongoing circumstances, or to simplify my question, can they find a shelter, no matter how temporary it is- for a night's sleep? I have cried all throughout the film "Bagong Buwan'(New Moon) showing a glimpse of the sufferings in Mindanao but i can hardly bear to see these people's sufferings in reality.
And deep in my heart, i continuously cry for peace not only in Mindanao, but throughout the world and deep in the hearts of mankind. And i hope that this word "peace" goes beyond rhetorics.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html






Continuing Cry for Peace in Mindanao
Yet i continue to cry for peace in Mindanao for many huge reasons the foremost of which is my undying love for this place and its people where i belong. Yes, Mindanao will always be the first in my heart wherever my fate and faith would bring me- for this is the place where i first saw the rays of the sun and the sparkle of the stars and the beauty of the moon. This is the place of my birth.
http://http//reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/continuing-cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html

Child's World
“ Am I still in the child’s world where candy stands for anything sweet enough to hold back tears? “-V.C. Andrews
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/childs-world.html

Something Precious
“ Sometimes when you lose something precious,
you’re not really losing it;
you’re just passing it on
to someone else”
– Mitch Albom
(Tuesdays with Morrie)
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/something-precious.html

Silent Odyssey: The Right to be Heard
The very unforgettable moments of kindness that stayed in my heart are from strangers. First was when a total stranger in a foreign land tapped my shoulder to give some tissue paper before getting off the tram because I was endlessly crying from the time I boarded the tram. Second, was another (then stranger) surprisingly tapped my shoulder around a couple of hours past midnight to say goodnight after a long, tiring and disappointing day in an island (this surprised me i never had the chance to respond to this kind gesture). Third, was when another ( then stranger) let me cry out in her shoulder over a very painful experience after a friendly altercation which i opted to forget. When I remember the faces of these people, i can’t help but smile- as their acts of kindness linger in my heart.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/09/silent-odyssey-right-to-be-heard.html

Wall Street and Uncertainty
Given the uncertainty of the times, where organisations, financial institutions and relationships fail - or maybe fail us, one should put hope and trust somewhere else. Most importantly he stressed, one should put his trust to someone else. And who is that someone else? Someone of greater authority than any royalty or any political stature and could take control of everything- a Divine Providence and since that was a Christian station, to Christians, its trusting Jesus. The speaker then went on saying the reasons why we- should put our trust to Jesus and ending it with a lovely song " Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus". I was convinced and comforted.

Indeed, in these times of uncertainty and even during happier times, i reckon that it is not only advisable but essential for us to put our trust to the Divine Providence. For me, its trusting the " author and finisher of our faith". Personally, i have stopped asking so many questions why all things( and this is not limited to personal and emotional issues) should happen that way and learned albeit difficult or seemingly unbearable to " live with it" and move on simply because i have to.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/wall-street-and-uncertainty.html

A River Runs Through It
And after watching the film, " A River Runs Through It" getting thrilled everytime Bradd Pitt smiles as Paul and enjoying the countryside landscapes, the beautiful sound of running waters and refreshing sight of the river- i have learned very important things: to find strength in what remains behind, to have faith that looks through death and to love completely-without complete understanding.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/river-runs-through-it.html

Simplicity
Truly, the universal elements are enough to make someone with simple joys wishing to live a simple life, happy. I have been thrilled by the sight of the stars at night most especially when i am in the countryside. I have been most thrilled( and continues to be thrilled) by the sight of the moon especially when it is full.
Yet nothing compares to the joy of simply enjoying these universal elements by myself, alone in the farm or alone in the beach. These are the moments where i can thank the Creator of all things and giving me the gift of life to enjoy His creations, and feel the joy of being loved too much.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/simplicity.html

Blogging is healing! More will be will be coming up- hopefully. Meantime, thanks for dropping by. Enjoy the Sweet November!

Counting My Blessings

chocolates that i would love to have, photo by orange tulip

Anthurium i call it heart flower) planted for me, photo by orange tulip

a fountain and flowers, photo by orange tulip

"flowers as birds"-free to be beautiful, photo by Primo

one of my favourite winter photos, "birds and posies", photo by Darwin

Count your blessings, Name them one by one

Count your blessings, See what God has done

Count your blessings, Name them one by one

Count your many blessings, See what God has done

- Words by Johnson Oatman, 1897

(From the Hymn, Count your Blessings)

http://www.the-synergy.com/lyrics/cntbless.html

I have prearranged that this blog would be posted on my birthday. I have planned to be away on a holiday to relish the sun, sand and the sea. I am alive, have lived and let live. And i continue to be. I celebrate my life with thanksgiving and is thankful for people who remembered to celebrate it with me.

Today is my day and I am celebrating my very existence. I want to celebrate quietly as I have done mostly in the past, communing with nature and God, the Creator and giver of my life thanking Him for adding up another year, let alone another day in my life. Somehow I have been a survivor of sorts- yet I consider myself to be a winner in this life’s struggles. Life on earth is indeed very challenging and as humans we are given the free will on how to live it. Arguably, the adage “ Life is what we make it” is true, because we are given choices no matter what circumstances may come. I have chosen to live my life the way I exactly want it even if some, out of their love and concern encourage me to do something else or go somewhere else.. I take also this time to count my blessings and pretty much, counting is endless because in many ways, I am immensely blessed.

I am Loved
I am too much loved. I count it a great blessing having people remembering me today, and in their thoughts and in their hearts, are wishing me well. Mother said that as the first girl in a clan where majority are males, I brought a different excitement from that of my oldest brother, the first grandchild. Accordingly, my mother would wake up most mornings finding out that I am no longer beside her. My crib was almost unused because my dad and his brothers would take turns in carrying me and his sisters would always love to see how I smiled, which happened too often. However, my grandfather and grandmother were the “first priority” to have a chance to “babysit” me.

Yet I am not loved less in my mother’s family. They were quite amazed seeing a baby “flirting” early, smiling more often and laughing loudly than the other babies that they have previously taken cared of. Given my positive and negative traits then, I grew up to be almost everybody’s favourite in both clans. My brothers have enjoyed taking care of me(up to now) and my sisters have always enjoyed giving way to my whims and caprices ( yes, even until now). My parents have been and still are very supportive of my endeavours and plans. Most of the time, while I am still conceptualizing anything that comes to my mind, they pray over it – something that I found myself remiss at times. Yet I have always gathered the courage to go to any venture that I want to take because deep within, I am confident that there are people who conscientiously and regularly pray for me- the foremost of whom are my loving parents.

I have few but valuable friends
Over time, I have gathered not too many but few valuable friends who have loved me at all times. Surely they have been always willing to be there for me no matter what and has learned to love me in spite/despite of. There are times that I am very talkative and irritable or too excited and surprisingly quiet yet they have learned to deal with me with tons of patience and somehow has found the entertainment value of my odd behaviour.

My friendship with the “four seasons” have taken me "leaps and bounds". Achievers themselves in their own crafts, they have taught me a lot, always wished me well and encouraged me to be the best that I could be. I have the “Cuties”, whom I immensely miss, who nurtured me in Melbourne and sweetly named me “ Cutie” themselves with Mummy Hen taking extra care of me like her very own family. Then came the "Happy Club" whose idea of happiness is simply spending time together over movies and foods of various kinds. My old friends have stayed with me, not necessarily geographically but in many ways, emotionally.

I have friends near and far- whom I have known in various seasons and situations throughout the years who remained friends as they had been despite years or months of no regular communication at all. I have tried to name them, but in the end opted to make them unnamed in this post lest I forget some and with due respect to their privacy. But all their names and faces are kept inside my heart. Each friend has come at various times and different situations-- to offer an encouraging word, maybe to help me or save me from harm or further harm, listen to me, converse with me, share my confusion, grief and joy, travel with me, or maybe meeting them at odd or difficult or surprising situations, or simply being there for me for some huge, small or no reason at all. They have been in some ways, sent like an angel to me, making my travel on this world fun, enjoyable and meaningful.

I grew up singing with a church choir everywhere the family or I go and somehow this has helped me to shape my identity and moral fiber thus keeping me grounded me everywhere I go. I have always enjoyed activities with them beyond singing. I have met and cherished friendship with my choir mates simply because we share the same interests, and we share the faith that we both believe in. Although my other friends outside choir find this situation “very much sheltered” I have enjoyed spending time with them beyond rehearsals simply because we are similar in many ways thus can easily understand each other despite our individual differences. I never enjoyed attending bible studies in church but I see it a point not to miss a choral rehearsal because it is a continuous learning experience about teamwork, relationships and the “encouragement sessions” prior to rehearsals has been really helpful to my spiritual growth. This is also where I have most of my early social activities and where the idea of having fun is I am most comfortable with.

My housemates has been huge blessings too-- they are my family away from home doubling as friends. Staying in a dormitory, a house, a flat or an apartment with them have given me the art of making adjustments and the skill of living in harmony which has now become a part of my lifestyle. I have learned a lot from my differences and similarities with the girls (I still have to experience having guys as housemates for at least four months) I have shared my life with. Most of the time, while away from home, they are like pillows cushioning me from further pains and difficulties that life’s realities may bring. I continue to appreciate their patience in listening to my diverse stories (no matter how disinterested they could probably be), interests, opinions and sentiments about anybody and anything no matter how mundane it could be. On a very tiring day a simple smile or a warm hello from them or simply their presence has always been heartwarming.

I have worked in few organizations with varied working environment both in formal and non-formal setting, and in the process I have learned to complement with my workmates in any way I could. Working in special projects, planning and process audit has been very fulfilling with the opportunity of meeting various individuals and organizations and learning from them along the way. I always look back with pride as I remember that the arguably top corporation in the country has requested me to file my application with them(as my name was obtained from the university where I graduated from). I was young and had the yearning for a carefree life and had a different perspective of being happy then, so when I was given a huge responsibility believing in my capacities and capabilities I quit thirty days after such “promotion” more than a year of employment. It was a big decision and very odd at that, surprising the management but not my friends and for quite a time gave me the feeling of remorse. Yet I was up for something so I have chosen not to look back. Each decision and action are bound with consequences and I have learned them in the process quickly, albeit the hard way.

Working with the government, giving me the chance to meet and learn from all sectors of the society has been very fulfilling. There were a lot of disenchantment and frustration over management actions and decisions that I have witnessed- some of which were practically appalling but I have learned to be more understanding, perhaps forgiving and in time, I have learned to live with while still inside the organization.If there is one thing that I can cherish in my memourable experience with working in this organization- it’s the feeling of being much loved and accepted for who I am and could be. My workmates were a witness to my numerous opinions about some decisions I think otherwise, or about other people’s very proud behaviour and actions, yet they listened with interest and sometimes were just entertained by my musings about something that I think are excesses. Nevertheless they remind me to be quiet when I have to and behave well when I was not behaving as expected or required of me. In this workplace, I have been treated like a family- their own sister or daughter or cousin may be, to which I am much grateful.

When I am studying overseas, I was also privileged to work in a policy making body working with the federal government where I did lots of research work discovering a lot of new ideas and meeting many people in various sectors along the way. I have enjoyed the highly egalitarian working environment where the top executive would not mind bringing out the trash bin if she thinks it has to be done. Because of this job, I was able to attend parliamentary sessions, conventions business lunch and dinners and the honour of being invited for dinner at the home of my CEO along with few chosen employees on some important occasions. Even as I started as an intern, I was treated really well-pretty much a part of the workforce. And on my last day, after doing my tasks of reading, analysis and writing policy recommendations, busy people in that workplace have taken time to have coffee and cake with me in the conference room, appreciate how I have worked with them and wished me well.

On the other end, as a fashion sales assistant, I have enjoyed dressing up like the mannequin in the fashion specialty store for tourists and had fun assisting people as they fit various clothes, and arranging these clothes on display when no customer is around, or simply writing the prices, or how much discount would be given to a certain item. What I remember the most was my colleagues, very pretty girls in their own right, take turns in bringing extra sandwich for me, knowing that I am only employed part-time as a full-time student. And I relish having lunch in the park close to the store while watching people do their own thing, and have coffee with colleagues some Fridays.

I Can Elicit Stimulus

I am capable to elicit stimulus both positive and negative whatever I do and whichever I go. I have met people who smile back at me when I smile at them-including strangers, some laugh at my jokes no matter how corny they could be. I like it much when someone gives me a task to do or a responsibility to handle- big or small as this means I am entrusted with such. On the opposite, few people dislike me which is really not surprising at all given our human nature. I have always been a non-conformist, and I have always been comfortable as an “artist-in the making” in the company of intellectuals, achievers, the organized (obsessive -compulsive to some).There were instances where some disliked me at first glance or have made a pre-conceived notion of who I am as a person at first meeting without the benefit of discovering who I am as a person( which in many ways is a person with contrasts). Later, they would apologise for judging me quickly because of how I dress, carry myself or because of expressing my liberated ideas comfortably. Some become my friends while others continue disliking me which did not bother me at all. In time, I have become comfortable in the idea that “You cannot please everybody.” And my presence, eliciting stimulus either negative or positive is better I think- than being unnoticed at all.

Free to be Me
I am free to be “me.” My principle in life is quite simple, I do things “ because I want to and do not do them because I do not want to.” New acquaintances have been surprised how I tried to adhere in this so called principle which in itself is not an easy task for me. Oftentimes, I have to deal with “compromise” especially in formal working situations which have made me uncomfortable and even unhappy.. And I am looking forward to the time that I will be “in control” by venturing in activities and businesses that I love to do and can implement my ideas which are oftentimes “outside the box” .

I am quite lucky to have a disciplinarian God fearing mother and a democratic father with liberated ideas who nurtured me to be “me”. As a child, I have shown peculiar behaviour compared to my brothers and my cousins whom I grew up with. Thus, bringing me up “properly” was a challenge to my parents. But my father has allowed me to express myself in many ways I have wanted- through music, performances and leaving me alone with various books instead of playing out in the sun with other children like my brothers did. Having a kid sister few years after was a breeze- my mother has probably become happier in having a daughter where she can do what she had ever wished for- dress her like a doll, bring her to parties, teach her to dance, sing, help her to cook, fix the household and accompany her in her numerous stint as a “flower girl”. I was happy to be left alone and to do what I really wanted. In essence, they have tolerated me to be “me.”

As an adult, my upbringing has permitted me to become comfortable in expressing my opinions, including unsolicited advices over something or anything just because I want to and not necessarily being asked for. So far, I have experienced a couple of verbal assaults in public simply because I have expressed my opinion to the dislike of those concerned. Of course it was not easy for me but I find solace in the thought that during those instances, I have friends who have defended me without me asking it who are and always willing to be there for me. The first experience four years ago was quite traumatic because it is close to a church and it came from someone I have treated as a sister or mother(and has led a bible study group which eventually discontinued). The second one happened months ago while accompanying a senior citizen to buy rice at a government retail establishment. I was expecting that the senior citizen would not undergo the regular “queue” as the others have been required to do. I was assaulted three times simply because I said that they have no humanitarian consideration at all over that incident. I did not dignify both by simply not retaliating at all. I was more concerned that if I did not express how I felt which led to the assaults I would feel bad forever. And those couple of experiences will not deter me from doing the same in the future.

I can express myself in creating stuff that I can do and venturing into activities that I love to dabble upon. At present, I have focused my interests in photography and writing although I am not making money out of them- suffice would be the personal fulfillment that I have in doing so. Blogging has in many ways liberated me further, allowing me to express my thoughts about something, someone or anything under the sun. In this modern world, I have still to learn the ways of chatting on line, joining social sites like Friendster, My Space, Facebook and Multiply where some of my friends enjoy much. I still have to learn the habit of reading my emails regularly and the courtesy to reply the emails that I receive from thoughtful friends near and far. I was somewhat wondering why I joined the blogging community after I sat down in a coffee shop to listen to the Penman himself, a Creative Writing Professor, a novelist and a blogger, showing me the excitement and joy and the vast possibilities of doing so. A lawyer friend who brought me over, said “ it is your thing” and I believed her because her blogs have inspired me to do so. And I discovered that two months after that session, being orange tulip in virtual community has been therapeutic for me somehow. I am now less talkative and I have discovered that I can write in various tones. When my former professor and a Palanca Literature judge at that, who became a great friend and a life adviser(she was my Speech Communication course adviser) read my post about” The Princess of the Stars Tragedy” she encouraged me the to write professionally. And i reckon- why not?

Visiting and Discovering Wonderful Places
I am too blessed to have the chance to visit wonderful places, explore the not much unknown, meet people (some become my friends) along the way, learning and immersing in various cultures and subcultures and simply enjoying the universal elements, particularly the water. Although my filmmaker/editor friend has told me that best moments are kept inside the heart, she encouraged me to do photography which I now enjoy very much.

Traveling and photography have helped me to cope with some pains, disappointments, failures and disenchantments over people and situations. Just like photography where the photographer can choose which part should be included, or which angle one would take to have a “beautiful photo”, in the “composition phase” I have learned to look at life in my own perspective. In essence, I have opted to look at the brighter and beautiful side of things, places, situations and people. Life is beautiful to those who choose to make their lives beautiful, no matter what perspective they take and I reckon that theres is no exception on this.

I am Still Alive
Because I am still alive, I can enjoy frolicking in the sand, watching the waves lap the shores in the beach, immerse myself in the water, alone or with company of few or many. I can walk the unexplored places and discover things that are probably extraordinary. I can wake up early in the morning to see the majestic sunrise and wait until I can watch the sunset in all its splendour. I can stay on at night to find out if there will be stars, or the moon would be shining a quarter, half or full or if the sky will be totally dark at all. And I sleep excitingly wondering what will tomorrow bring.

I can enjoy listening to the chirping of the birds, the innocent banter and laughter of my nephews and my niece, and the naughty, funny or intellectual conversations with my friends and loved ones. I can relish spending time with my family most specially to my ageing parents and relatives whenever I have the chance.

Because I am still alive, I can hope and dream for better or happier days ahead at the same time being simply happy with what I have, where I am and who I am with.
Because I am still alive, I can continue to struggle to make amends to those whom I have offended- intentionally or not, to ask forgiveness to those I have wronged and learn to give forgiveness to those who have wronged me realizing that we humans are imperfect no matter how “excellent” our upbringing was, or how well-educated or well-traveled we could ever be.

And remembering how I am loved and forgiven by the Giver of life, my Creator, I am reminded to be more compassionate, more forgiving, and more understanding towards my fellow human beings.

I am still alive because I still need to learn a lot- probably a lot of loving, a lot of forgiving and giving from my fellow transients in this world.

I am still alive because I have to continue finding the purpose of my creation and live for that purpose.

And I thank God for the many blessings I can hardly count.