A Park To Remember

the way leading to the park

the clear blue skies

the way leading to a resort close to the park

photos were taken by orange tulip on her first visit to the park

Time really flies- its been a year and just like what i regularly do over unpleasant experiences that brings unhappy memories, i vent all the remaining sentiments, release all negative emotions and choose never to look back. Final closure for me would lead to erasing all aspects of unpleasant memories after a year, refusing to talk about it and try my best to go on as if nothing happened. After attending a gathering of artists that the organisers called "convention", a year ago, and analysing the circumstances related thereto, i reckon that any work of art would probably lose its essence if in the process of its creation, few or even a single individual would be hurt- either intentionally or not. Arguably, art should be a tool or an essence that can build bridges putting people together in appreciation and enjoyment, regardless of their background, status or personal beliefs and values.

I had few disappointments over this activity but i opted to keep quiet. Working as a marketing specialist, assembling a couple of hundreds or so individuals of varying personalities, background, culture/subculture and language for a three- day workshop was a yearly task for me and my team. In addition, inviting over and making sure that the industry players include in their busy schedules, attendance to a monthly meeting( for discussion of various concerns from food to oil prices and basic commodities affecting the nation and topics related thereto- translating to policy recommendations) has also been an enjoyable involvement for me. Further, working with a top organisation on special projects as my first job doing research, planning to customer service, joining a 3-man team to foresee possible worse-case scenarios had been fulfilling. Imagine my chagrin when as a spectator, i found out that things did not turn out the way they were planned to be. I opted to be passive simply because i respected the person/s organisation appointed by the owner to handle such activity.

I was displeased when artists invited from neighbouring islands, coming to the park at their own expense and risks, became captive audience to three celebrities from the big city. The celebrity guests were good-looking and a feast to the eyes (especially to star-strucked villagers) and there was absolutely nothing wrong with focusing the spotlight to them, being stars themselves- but it would have been probably different, or exciting if, right after an hour or so representations were made from the visiting artists giving them a chance to expound on their creative thoughts on their possible future collaborations. Although my egalitarian upbringing has exposed me to treat anyone as special as the other, regardless of status or achievements or absence of such-geopolitics suggest that they be given priority for more realistic and sustainable activities in the park after its "opening". Besides, it has been my orientation to make the stay of our invited guests to be worth remembering, whether it be on a personal or work related scenario. Well, I did not and do not want to know how it did to those invited by the organisers who came over to the park- but again, i remained a quiet observer with due respect to those tasked or volunteered to do the job. Organising an activity especially without crystal clear objectives from the start, is understandably not an easy task.

Although I was mutated to be an errand girl (which i did not mind at all because the owner is a close friend and i went there to give support), leaving my own important concerns to be at the event, i tried my best to have fun nevertheless- and fun I surely had! It was great to reconnect with few old friends, friends i rarely see and a chance to meet new ones. Watching a band composed of handsome and multi-talented guys and seeing some capable to yield music with varying instruments, notable of which is the leaf, was a wonderful experience at the park. I have read somewhere that Levi Celerio, a Filipino National Artist was listed in the Guinness of World Records for such extraordinary talent. Most importantly, i enjoyed watching the home grown talents (children who grew up attending various workshops in the park, who were accordingly, very shy prior to building such park) evolving to be very confident and charming performers. Truly, the owner of the park and her collaborators have made a lot of difference in these children’s lives- and that of their families. I can still vividly remember the excited eyes and happy faces of parents in the village while watching their own children, or someone that they know- performing excellently that evening. The happiness in their faces was highly contagious, it never failed to infect me too.

And I remember with fondness, singing a couple of songs or so. I haven’t sung for quite a while and i felt good hearing how my voice soared in harmony with the lovely music from the featured band. Yes, i was able to put aside all my troubles away, and happy with the thought that despite a yearlong absence from the “spotlight”, i can still pull through a song or two. That was a fantastic experience i should say.

All was seemingly well but a couple of days after, a momentous experience has led me to the realisation that, although i have various artistic inclinations, i opt to be the humanitarian the foremost. The art park was built with the children and the artists in mind, as conceptualized by the owner- an artist herself. It is hers and anything she wishes to do with her creation would be entirely up to her. After a serious discussion about a lot of concerns along with two friends, i think that it is best that she be left alone(at least by me) and wish her really well. I also hope that collaborative projects will be done to maximise the physical structures, space and maybe the ambiance. The park is beautiful with varied potentials that can go beyond nature and arts, given dedication by future collaborators and strategic exposure. But that remains to be seen- as the owner has other important concerns to attend.

That experience a year ago led to a realisation that i have to take care of myself the foremost, simply because i deserve it. I ceased to find fulfillment in seeing to it that someone's wishes would come true regardless of the inconveniences that would cost me. It beckoned to me that i am an individual with own wishes wanting to be fulfilled. Clearly, i am capable of making my own dreams and making them come true. Most importantly, i should be attending to my own concerns, and i reminded myself that i definitely know how to choose and fight my own battles.

Few days back, an author of an article made suggestions on having a happy life. Number one on his list was to de-blog (yes, to delete the blog) that brings sad memories. On the contrary, here i am blogging about not necessarily sad but sappy(sad and happy) memories. Yet expressing my opinions and sentiments just like what i did to very few trusted friends few days after the experience has not only helped me to cope, but found it pretty much liberating. And talking about any disappointment or pain a year after such experience-is a completion for the healing process, and makes moving on a lot easier and swifter.

I wish the park and its owner well, but as i have opted to be a humanitarian it will remain in my heart- a park to remember.

And to remember i always will, for reasons i have said and left unsaid.