100th Post: Giving Thanks

" Sunrise: A New Day" photo by orange tulip

this is my 100th post in this blog which has been a therapy for me for the last couple of years. life has not been generally kind to me but after all that i went through, i am still up and standing tall. after all what happened to my family and close friends which at first i was unable to comprehend, life went on and yeah i am alive.

my brother just had his fourth major surgery a couple of days ago. advanced technology has somehow eliminated the physical pains of undergoing through the necessary procedure. his third major operation four months back took him ten hours, now its four hours and he came out of the recovery room weak but half conscious. listening to his voice telling me he is okay was- indeed, "priceless" i wanted to burst out in a song and weep with joy but i resolved to keep calm and gladly listened to his voice as he told me his fervent wish- not to undergo another operation again. i told him we can still be thankful because despite all the physical pains and emotional difficulties that he has endured as a part of his traumatic experience and consequently making life dysfunctional to his wife, children and family hardships in all aspects that we have to endure, he is still alive. it is a miracle giving him the chance to re-evaluate everything in his life and go back to the basics: discover what really matters, and realise that everything he has and still is- is due to God's abundant grace.

we do not have any idea how long will he stay in the hospital, how long will it take for him to physiologically function normally, how long before he himself would be emotionally healed from his total experience but we are full of hope that yes- he can through God's grace.

i am thankful to have prayerful parents who begins and ends their day asking God to pour out His grace to all their children. i am thankful for relatives and friends who in one way or another conveyed their concern to my brother and to us. i am thankful for my brother's wife who through it all, has been a pillar of strength for their little family. i am thankful for my kid sister who practically stopped her regular activities to devote her time and energy assisting my sister-in-law or taking good care of the patient herself - from the time my brother was bed-ridden, wheel chair bound, started using crutches and as he continues to undergo therapy for the possibility of walking again.

i thank God for the strength of character that He gave me- to encourage the discouraged to keep going no matter what- to make them smile when they all wanted to do was cry and to let them remember that sunsets are not signals to a day's end but for us to look forward for the next sunrise. and each sunrise is another chance to celebrate a day added up to each person's life on this world of mortals-where we are.

all through this time, i have discovered that "full surrender" is the beginning of freedom and " letting go and letting God" is not a sign of weakness but strength and trusting is not a passive but an active verb.

i thank God for the lessons that the circumstances has brought me. and i thank God for the sunrise and many more to come.

Wordless Saturday

"waves from the deep blue sea at noon " photo by orange tulip

Farewell Elvon

" a sight close to heaven: clouds from my window seat", photo by orange tulip

... and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever
( Psalm 23)

-The Holy Scriptures

as i write this post i am trying to grasp the reason for the family tragedy. my brother escaped a near death experience three months ago when a trigger happy guy hit him thrice as he passed by(braving the rain and the darkness of the night) on his way to bring food supplies to a less fortunate friend. this happened while the authorities are busy implementing the "gun ban" due to the national elections. had it not been for a miracle, he should have been part of the statistics as the 30th casualty of the perpetrator.

as my brother is still in his hospital bed undergoing therapy hoping that he can walk again, and while waiting for the schedule of another operation for him to physiologically function normally, news came about the death of my cousin last night. interestingly, he is the only son of my father's younger brother. he is eighteen. he is on his way home from an out of town church organised youth convention aboard a van when the accident took place. while accordingly other passengers are in serious condition, he is the lone casualty.

ironically i just hosted an eighteenth"coming out" birthday party earlier this week. strangely, the motif chosen by the debutante were black and white. since it was the first time that i hosted such occasion with such colours, i insisted to have happy music to set a happy mood lest the guests may mistake the birthday party to be a funeral. majority, including me wore black. the flowers were all in white. more ironically, the news about my cousin's death was received by my eldest brother in his hospital bed, and my sister who is taking care of him sent me the sad news.

another brother immediately took a trip to the province to share the grief with my uncle and his family. i opted to stay where i am to make arrangements with the hope to be present at the funeral rites. another cousin was telling me that it is very sad beacuse elvon has to go first, at eighteen, and a very nice kid. i replied that nice or bad, rich or poor- mortals as we are, death is a sure destination we just don't know when and how. i tried to convince her that we have to be thankful because he was given eighteen years to live while some are "stillborn" or die as infants. he was a baby when his own mom passed away after a long and torturous bout with cancer. his dad, my uncle raised them as a widower and although he entertained possibilities of remarrying, he did not push through so he can focus taking care of his children. since my father has relocated, i had seen my cousins grow up very rarely. it has been eight long years since i last saw elvon on my last visit to my grandparents who were still alive then. time flies.

and the loss just sank in. a call from my brother made from his hospital bed minutes ago, worrying much about my grieving uncle despite his own concerns made me cry. and in my mind i am asking why must these tragedies happen to good people like my brother, my cousin and my uncle? i struggle to verbalise these questions.

remembering my conversations with a doctor who opted to stay in the academe, "everyone has his or her own time to leave this earth. its just a matter of when and how would this happen, mortals as we are" are source of strentgh. my college thesis turned to be my life adviser said it well-"there is nothing that we can do about it now. God took him because he has a purpose that we may not be aware as of now. you have to be at peace with God's decision."

my cousin has to go because his time was up. as humans, we look at eighteen years biologically as very short span for a lifetime. yet for someone who grew up with much love for God in his heart, elvon's life has been a full life and coming from a church activity, his sure destination is in heaven. and i reckon how painful it might have been for my uncle and his sisters and to the family- elvon has to go. as we celebrate mother's day on earth, elvon's mom who had been alone in heaven for the past seventeen years, have his only son to kiss and hug. for the baby that she left behind in this earth when she succumbed to cancer has grown up to be a fine, talented and handsome young man. he is eighteen.

elvon and aunt ellen shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever.

i find comfort in that thought.

Earth Day

Source: photobucket.com/images/earth%20day/

i am taking a moment to remember earth day and do my part. let us give back to mother earth the love that she deserves.

The Philippine Elections 2010

what's happening at the Philippine politics is a rich source of case studies and arguably very interesting, if not amusing for political science students. first, a former president who was unsuccessfully impeached but was stripped of power through a "people's revolt", convicted of plunder and given clemency by his former vice president who took over as president. second, the current president, who held the top post in the country is seeking for a congressional seat which was vacated by his own son to seek a partylist representation for security guards. third, some senators are being adopted by at least a couple of political parties, making voters confused which party they are really loyal to and fifth the house speaker( who took over the former who has tried his best to make arroyo's president afloat until his own son and namesake testified about the ZTE scam) expressing his frustrations over the current administration candidate for some reasons, most notable of which for me is "not saying hi" to him prior to going to his davao city sortie, where he still need to win elections as a mayor. after being in the headline news of bolting the party, he did not push through but continued to ramble, at least enough for the media to notice.

some weeks ago, a very amusing incident on noynoy aquino's sortie in bacolod city was the talk of the town. baby james, the adorable two year old son of noynoy's celebrity sister kris upon prodding, said " hello"over the microphone, and when the crowd roared "hello" back and he blurted "veeyar" which made villar's day and took as an endorsement. these two presidentiables, aquino and villar respectively, if the surverys could be believed are occupying the first two spots in the presidential race.

as if surveys translates to votes, made noynoy very confident enough to say that all other presidentiables give up since its a toss between him (a heir of the hacienda luisita in tarlac which made generations of sugar workers landless) and villar(the poor rich guy who already spent billions for his infomercials which accordingly was his own money yet did not provide clear explanation about the C5, a government road project controversy and instead pointed out that his archrival benefited from SLEX, another road project)

what went on later was mudslinging from both camps. this went to the extent of dignifying a supposedly fake psychiatric report and bringing out the bad to worse from both sides, hitting each other "below the belt" and so on and so forth. both pinpoint at each other as arroyo's secret candidate while all this time, gilbert teodoro was staying put and assuring people that he remains the administration candidate.

i was not surprised at all when chavit singson of ilocos sur turned his back from the current administration to support nacionalista's party bearer manny villar. i did not believe nograles leaving lakas would make much impact for as teodoro puts it " he has to win the mayoralty first" . neptali gonzales II's transfer was a huge surprise but the most significant, i reckon was the administration's top economic adviser who called his boss "lucky bitch" joey salceda moving to the liberal party where his ateneo classmate was the standard bearer.

prior to cory aquino's death, i have thought that 2010 presidential elections was between gilbert teodoro and mar roxas, both of privileged upbringing and armed with education obtained from abroad, teodoro from harvard law school and roxas from the wharton school of economics. i am wondering what difference it would have made if the presidential elections was a 'battle of the minds" and not "battle of the mouths." listening to them is quite tiring and frustrating.

if the surverys are to be believed, roxas is the continuous topnotcher in the vice presidential race which is good. teodoro, on the other hand is looked upon for his qualifications and admired for not joining the mudslinging among candidates, yet surveys placed him on the continuous fourth place not necessarily because of his lackluster performance in his previous government jobs but because he is the candidate endorsed by the administration that majority of filipinos have grown to hate if the disapproving ratings are to be believed.

initially, i was rooting for richard gordon due to his achievements as a topman in subic, his lots of ideas for economic advancenet and political will. but the way gilbert teodoro is holding up these seemingly difficult days when some of his own party mates pulls him down invites reconsideration. despite of unreleased party funds if news are to be believed, he continues on his own sorties even the wife of his own kingmaker uncle campained "anybody but gibo". after all, he is the candidate next to gordon who is focused and has solid plans of what to do if elected president while the others have not clearly discussed their platform of government would be. and given the defections that he experienced the past few days, he reinvented himself as the "people's candidate" albeit belatedly, which might give him a chance for the presidency .

and yes, he has a very pretty and intelligent wife with privileged upbringing which would probably make a first lady that the filipinos can be proud of.

Elated Over Ampatuan Transfer

i join the many people all over the world who are happy about the transfer of the Ampatuans. although his lawyers tried a lot of delaying tactics, the patriarch was finally at the Camp Bagong Diwa in Manila. last friday afternoon, my colleagues and me were amused by how the military stood ground in taking him from a private hospital in davao city despite various protestations from the members of his family. i was surprised to find out in the news that those who were at the neighbouring city of General Santos were also flown to Manila using the same military plane.

those who were behind this development, the court, the military authorities and all who have helped such transfer a successful activity deserves commendation whoever they are. and i join the families of those whose lives were violated one november morning, in hoping that justice that they have been seeking, would come swiftly.

Happy Easter

today is a very special day for the entire Christian world being the resurrection sunday. i spent the holy week quietly watching movies that has carefully featured Jesus Christ's life on earth. happily, the ending was indeed happy, for He is risen with the promise to come again.

i am holding on to such promise. meantime, i will live my life abundantly as He has wished for all his childen. let's be happy, its easter!

Year 2010

i celebrate the new year with the people that undoubtedly loves me inspite of, despite of, come what may. i am thankful for this new year which beckons new beginnings, new hopes and aspirations for the fulfillment of new dreams.

each new year brings much hope for better days ahead. the past year was not exactly best, but, it was good. i refuse to look back over past disenchantments, enjoy my present and look forward to whatever this new year brings to me and to the people i love the most. being alive each day is a great reason to celebrate.

now i have to join the family celebration, our way of welcoming the new year, 2010!