Farewell Elvon

" a sight close to heaven: clouds from my window seat", photo by orange tulip

... and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever
( Psalm 23)

-The Holy Scriptures

as i write this post i am trying to grasp the reason for the family tragedy. my brother escaped a near death experience three months ago when a trigger happy guy hit him thrice as he passed by(braving the rain and the darkness of the night) on his way to bring food supplies to a less fortunate friend. this happened while the authorities are busy implementing the "gun ban" due to the national elections. had it not been for a miracle, he should have been part of the statistics as the 30th casualty of the perpetrator.

as my brother is still in his hospital bed undergoing therapy hoping that he can walk again, and while waiting for the schedule of another operation for him to physiologically function normally, news came about the death of my cousin last night. interestingly, he is the only son of my father's younger brother. he is eighteen. he is on his way home from an out of town church organised youth convention aboard a van when the accident took place. while accordingly other passengers are in serious condition, he is the lone casualty.

ironically i just hosted an eighteenth"coming out" birthday party earlier this week. strangely, the motif chosen by the debutante were black and white. since it was the first time that i hosted such occasion with such colours, i insisted to have happy music to set a happy mood lest the guests may mistake the birthday party to be a funeral. majority, including me wore black. the flowers were all in white. more ironically, the news about my cousin's death was received by my eldest brother in his hospital bed, and my sister who is taking care of him sent me the sad news.

another brother immediately took a trip to the province to share the grief with my uncle and his family. i opted to stay where i am to make arrangements with the hope to be present at the funeral rites. another cousin was telling me that it is very sad beacuse elvon has to go first, at eighteen, and a very nice kid. i replied that nice or bad, rich or poor- mortals as we are, death is a sure destination we just don't know when and how. i tried to convince her that we have to be thankful because he was given eighteen years to live while some are "stillborn" or die as infants. he was a baby when his own mom passed away after a long and torturous bout with cancer. his dad, my uncle raised them as a widower and although he entertained possibilities of remarrying, he did not push through so he can focus taking care of his children. since my father has relocated, i had seen my cousins grow up very rarely. it has been eight long years since i last saw elvon on my last visit to my grandparents who were still alive then. time flies.

and the loss just sank in. a call from my brother made from his hospital bed minutes ago, worrying much about my grieving uncle despite his own concerns made me cry. and in my mind i am asking why must these tragedies happen to good people like my brother, my cousin and my uncle? i struggle to verbalise these questions.

remembering my conversations with a doctor who opted to stay in the academe, "everyone has his or her own time to leave this earth. its just a matter of when and how would this happen, mortals as we are" are source of strentgh. my college thesis turned to be my life adviser said it well-"there is nothing that we can do about it now. God took him because he has a purpose that we may not be aware as of now. you have to be at peace with God's decision."

my cousin has to go because his time was up. as humans, we look at eighteen years biologically as very short span for a lifetime. yet for someone who grew up with much love for God in his heart, elvon's life has been a full life and coming from a church activity, his sure destination is in heaven. and i reckon how painful it might have been for my uncle and his sisters and to the family- elvon has to go. as we celebrate mother's day on earth, elvon's mom who had been alone in heaven for the past seventeen years, have his only son to kiss and hug. for the baby that she left behind in this earth when she succumbed to cancer has grown up to be a fine, talented and handsome young man. he is eighteen.

elvon and aunt ellen shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever.

i find comfort in that thought.