The Princess of the Stars Tragedy

Orange Tulip on board the M/V Princess of the Universe

the lobby

approaching the Port of Cebu

I just arrived in my hotel room when the sight of a grief stricken lady, cursing and outraged, struck me. It was an update about the sinking of the M/V Princess of the Stars. Earlier, i got myself a copy of the Philippine Daily Inquirer, one of the popular broadsheets in the Philippines while waiting for the boarding time on my way to Palawan. I kept the broadsheet for my bedtime reading.( I found out few days after that, this lady lost her parents and three brothers, the youngest of which is a minor, a 12 year old who was declared "missing" along with 751 manifested passengers and 111 crew. To date, reports indicated that there were only 59 survivors majority of which are composed of the ship crews.)

Back to my television screen, a few minutes later, was the live press conference of the Sulpicio Lines, the shipping company who owns the ill-fated ship. This is interesting, i thought, so i decided to forego watching the street parade, got my notepad and took notes. It started with a statement of sympathy being read by one of the VPs of the company, devoid of any emotion trying his best to sound sincere nevertheless. Included in the statement was the promise that the family members left behind by those who perished with the ill-fated ship will be given 200,000 Philippine pesos as compensation.

I was irritated by the smiling and in a seemingly joking mood lady in his left, the name I was disinterested to remember. I immediately disliked her and while continuously observing her on my tv screen, i cannot find the the sincerity in relation to her supposed empathy ( as she tried to express it verbally sans emotions). I also noticed that she can hardly look at the press/audience straight in the eye. I admit i am not an expert on non-verbal actions, so probably my judgment to these people was already clouded by my sympathy to the bereaved kin cursing the shipping company shown in the television earlier. Nevertheless, this lady executive tried her best to answer the questions and give the necessary information in relation to the ill-fated ship although it distracts me to see that someone has to coach her what to say from time to time. One should be fully prepared when appearing on a press conference.

During that press conference held on the 23rd after being mum since the supposed ship sinking on the 21st, the Sulpicio lines management tried to convince the press and the viewers that 1) the ship was given permit to travel, 2) they did not violate any rule, 3) the specific ship has no record of problem/s in her previous voyages as they were granted safety certificates and safety management certificates by the government authorities, and thus "seaworthy." They are wondering what really went wrong why there was engine problem, as reported by some survivors, leading to sinking. Reportedly it” ran aground” When the reporters tried to push the lady executive to give them an update about the ill-fated ship, she remarked that as much as everyone is eager about the news(that was as of Monday, June 23) the Sulpicio lines has the same or probably more amount of eagerness to know what really transpired because it is their business and that ship was bought for $5 million and its on top of the line. Yes, its a major loss for the business and yes, on top of the already lost property the company will further loss more money if and only if- they will fulfill their promise the soonest possible time that- they will pay the heirs of those who perished with the ship. What made my TV watching very distasteful was that lady executive’s answer when asked about how much would the company losses in revenue? She answered, “ I don’t want to think about it because I might end up crying” . Does this mean that the loss of around 800 or more people has not made her cry yet but the financial losses can make her cry?

It is important to note that the Sulpicio executives only talked about the passengers giving important information that it was allowed to ship 23,800 gross tonnage. On hindsight it appears that it is underloaded having 751 passengers and 111 crew on board given the capacity 0f 1,992 people. They never mentioned about the cargo capacity and worse, they kept mum about the dangerous endosulfan intended for Del Monte Philippines that was also on the passenger ship(that they succesfully switched the cargo from its intended cargo ship adding up to the jeopardy that such toxic chemical is prohibited in a passenger ship and now can cause probable damage to the waters, marine and human life and the environment ). This was only discovered few days after that press conference, when Del Monte reported to the government authority about the dangerous cargo which made the rescue operations to be on halt.

I took a deep breath and remembered my own experience in one of their ships almost a couple of years ago- the M/V Princess of the Universe. The initial plan was for me to accompany a friend hiring a container van for her stuff from Manila to Cebu and then to Siquijor. She changed her mind the last minute and took the air transport herself, and waited for the cargo and me in Cebu City. It was supposed to be around 21 hours trip anyway so when i leave Manila at 2 PM, my expected arrival in Cebu City the next day will be 11 am. The ship arrived in the afternoon. Excited for my first interisland vessel trip as a grown-up I went on anyway. While walking on the viewing deck, i met 2 students who decided to temporarily stop their studies in Manila due to financial constraints. I was very excited on this adventure and on my own, tried to visit all the decks and compared and contrasted the accommodations, dining halls and other amenities.(I heard that some interisland vessels have their own swimming pools and other features just like the cruise ships but found out later that the There was a sing-along on board so i sang a few songs to the delight of some passengers, crew and few sea marshall( these are men in uniform assigned to secure the ship from terrorist attacks just like the bombing of a Superferry ship sometime in 2004). Out of sheer curiosity i attempted to go where the navigators are, to ask some questions but passengers are prohibited to go there. Eager to ask questions about the vessel and the travel, I started a conversation with the ship crews( who were busy painting the ramps earlier) when I saw them resting on the viewing deck. Telling me that sometimes their job is boring, they were eager to find a girl on board, travelling alone, interested about their lives. I immediately asked what has been taking our trip too long than expected- and i got a dreaded information that- one engine had trouble, so it must be fixed while the other one is in use. A bit later, i was told, the one who just got fixed was in trouble again and the other engine was having problems too. I was nervous so i stayed on topmost part of the ship- where the lifevests and lifeboats are, thinking about the movie "Titanic" and was wary about my survival if something untoward happens. The crew then assured me that it would only float for a couple of hours or shorter( as this has happened in the past anyway and the engine was fixed) and later in the day both of the engines will be running actively again. Besides, its November and the sea is calm, the waves are low sans storm. A seaman( working with a foreign vessel) who overheard my conversation with the crew refuted it when the crew left and told me that we had been running on a single engine since midnight. He informed me that he opted to take the boat because he shopped a lot for his family in Manila and will be paying a lot of excess baggage if he goes home by plane. We took turns taking pictures of each other on the top deck and i gamely posed for him when he requested to take my photos using his new camera.

I only agreed to go down for coffee when i was assured that the M/V Princess of the Universe is already running in normal condition. The best memory that i have about that trip however was watching the sunset alone a day before (i told everybody to leave me alone because i am both a photographer and a writer). I was able to enjoy the few precious minutes watching the sunset , while i was in the middle of the sea. To date, i consider it as the most beautiful sunset that i have ever seen.

I never ventured to ride in any of the Sulpicio fleets again, as my family and friends warned me sternly about it. I was contemplating however, to ride a competitor's ship on my trip to Palawan. Although taking the same route, and owned by the same company, the M/V Princess of the Stars and the M/V Princess of the Universe are different ships, and circumstances were probably different. But I am not ruling out some possibilities that led to the ship’s sinking at the height of the storm.

Reports compiled by Eliza Victoria( Inquirer Research,Philippine Daily Inquirer dated June 23, 2008 ) indicated that since December 1987, that this company has figured out in at least three maritime disasters(with the Princess of the Stars, it has now increased to 4-Orange Tulip), including the world's worst peacetime tragedy. the report went on as follows:"On December 20, 1987, MV Dona Paz on its way to Manila from Tacloban, collided with Caltex hired MT Vector where only 26 people were rescued and left more than 4,000 dead. On October 29, 1988, the Board of Marine Inquiry absolved and held MT Vector at fault for the collision. In 1992 however Manila Regional Trial Court held Sulpicio solely responsible for the accident and ordered paying the heirs of two victims 1.2 million pesos. Four years later, Court of Appeals absolved the shipping company and laid the blame on the vector and Caltex. In January 2006 however, the court cleared Caltex of any liability for the 1987 sea tragedy. By then, many relatives of the victims had settled out of court.

The latest ruling was handed down in September 2006 the CA affirming the lower court decision ordering Sulpicio Lines to pay P14.9 million to the family of a geodetic enginner who died in the maritime disaster. However, the ruling did not assign criminal responsibility to Sulpicio Lines.
Less than a year later, another vessel made it in the headlines as Typhoon Unsang lashed Eastern Visayas on October 24, 2008. A day before, storm signal no. 2 was raised over Leyte but the following day, Storm Signal No. 3 was hoisted but authorities allowed the Dona Marilyn from Manila to Tacloban. The Dona Marilyn encountered huge waves and capsized, leaving at least 250 people dead. the Board of Marine Inquiry later concluded that the sinking was a force maheure or " an act of God" and that no one was responsible for the sea tragedy.

Ten years later, the then largest ship of the Sulpicio lines fleet sank at the height of Typhoon Gading. MV Princess of the Orient was allowed to sail from Manila to Cebu City. the 24 year old ship went down near Manila Bay leaving at least 150 people dead. In September 2000, the Department of Justice junked the criminal case against Sulpicio in connection with the sinking of the Princess of the Orient saying that the firm could not be held criminally liable for the death of scores of passengers"

If we add up around 800 people on the fourth and latest tragedy, the fatalities will be around 6,000 lives. I was unconvinced when this lady executive argued that each tragedy have varying circumstances- where clearly, three tragedies were caused by typhoons except for the MV Dona Paz colliding with the MT Vector. When pushed by more questions from the press, in exasperation, the lady executive argued that nobody expected this to happen- and if everybody is eager to know what really transpired, the company is eager to find out too and this is an "act of God." I placed a big question mark in my notepad. Is the sinking of the ship- an act of God?

I will argue that all those four tragedies involving the Sulpicio lines were clearly, an act of man. First, despite the finger pointing of responsibilities to one another, there was the knowledge of inclement weather. The storm signal no.1 has been hoisted in Manila by the PAG-ASA, the weather forecasting agency of the country. Manila is the point of origin of the ship scheduled to travel to Cebu City on that fateful Friday night, June 20. The more prudent shipping competitors cancelled their own trips scheduled on Friday night while those already at the sea took shelter somewhere. The M/V Princess of the Stars reportedly took the regular schedule and the regular route.

Second, the Philippine Coast Guard gave clearance for the trip to travel. No less than the Philippine President out for travel out of the country accosted the head of this government agency via teleconferencing. She was fuming mad about the situation in contrast to the smiling Sulpicio lady executive. The shipping company repeatedly insisted that a clearance to travel was given thus they should not be put to blame. Personally, I have questions about the role of these concerned government agencies in implementing maritime laws, if there were any, or the applicability of the existing laws to the contemporary situations, and the possibility of learning from the previous tragedies, have they done active revision or crafting new laws respondent to the times?

Third, given three records of great loss of lives and property by the same company, did they ever took the initiative to revise and formulate company policies with the ultimate objective of eliminating further losses in the future? As chronicled by the various reporters, the Sulpicio lines figured in sea accident in 1987, in 1988, 1998, the first was through collision and the latter, including the latest was sunk by the typhoons. Delayed trips means loss of money and the more trips would mean more money coming in, which of course is the reason for any organisation venturing in business. Given their statistics of losses, have this company found the initiatives or figured out something towards communicating to their clients about possible considerations when natural calamities or “ act of God’ results to postponement or cancellation of scheduled trips?

“It was the master’ call " was a statement from the lady executive of the shipping company. Since the captain was still missing( unless he acquired the surviving skills that the shipping crew on board had and survived anyway) it is therefore most convenient for the company to put the blame on the ship captain. Without any company policy to adhere to for cancelling a trip, or fearing any disciplinary action for not pushing through the scheduled trip, then probably it was really the master’s call. Somehow, I was wondering anyway given the modern communication systems and mobile phones’ popularity, was a few calls to the shipping lines executive prior to finally leaving the port of call despite the impending storm impossible to do? Despite the clearances given by the coastguards and other what have you safety certificates, was it difficult to negotiate a possible postponement of a scheduled trip? Would penalties to delayed cargo arrival if there is any( which makes me think if it could be possible for passengers to claim compensation for delayed arrivals as well)?

Fourth, given the fact that it was indeed his call then Captain Florencio Marimon had some judgments and decisions which eventually led to the tragedy. Probably he was too confident and too daring to proceed with the trip as scheduled. Another factor is how the captain acted on crisis during those most trying moments in the ship. Is it possible that the “ abandon ship” call was way too late for the passengers since a lot of bodies discovered, sadly- have worn their life vests already? Is there a possibility that at the height of the storm, the captain was “somewhere else? “ Let us look at the facts about the worse maritime tragedy in the world as accounted by Atty Jose Sison(a Law Each Day, Philippine Star, June 27, 2008): "The Dona Paz inquiry clearly established that the 20 year old vesel was reconditioned and remodelled by adding two more decks to increase passenger capacity. In that ill-fated voyage, as many as 4,000 paseengers were allowed to board despite its maximum alowable capacity of up to 1,000 only hence the life vests and life boats were obviously not enough. Then as the ship swished through the choppy waters in the darkness of the night, witnesses even saw the ship captain playing mahjong since the ship was clear anyway. Under such situation, the ship's crew failed to notice the oil tanker and in a matter of seconds, the top heavy ship capsized bringing with her more than 4,000 people in the bottom of Tablas Straits."

Considering that the ship did not undergo any refurbishing to accommodate more passengers, then the decisions of the “master” is very crucial during this time. Was he able to communicate proper orders on time, or just like the other ship crews who luckily survived, instead of taking charge in the safe abandoning of the passengers- took care of their own survival? I am not unhappy that these crews survived the ordeal, but taking time ( if there was left) to help the passengers should have led to less casualties.

Fifth, there a possibility that an engine problem occurred at the height of the storm. This has probably made the supposed to be on “ top of the line” very helpless and immediately sank when huge waves and strong winds hit it? How worthy is the term “ seaworthy” after all? How do authorities find out if a vessel is indeed “ seaworthy? “

Sixth, there is a possibility that the ship is overloaded( albeit travelling with only close to 50% of its passenger capacity) that it is overloaded with cargo. The Sulpicio lines readily gave records about the seemingly underloaded ship as far as passenger statistics are concerned but there was hardly any information given on the cargo being carried by the ill-fated ship. Del Monte Phillippines, Inc. later informed by the shipping company that their toxic chemical endosulfan ( which Sulpicio successfully switched to that passenger ship instead of being carried by a cargo ship) sank with the M/V Princess of the Orient took the initiative to inform the government agency regulating fertilizer and pesticides that the public was aware about the danger thus putting the rescue operations to a halt.

Another segment of the report on the 23rd of June was the forming of another Board of Marine Inquiry. Given the past tragedies,( including those of other shipping companies in the past 21 years) did these board of inquiries and task forces learned few lessons at all? Did the government authorities tasked to craft and implement maritime laws recommended to revise policies based from these lessons? How stren are the laws being implemented if there was/ or were any? Can corruption be a factor for the seemingly weak stance despite the past sea tragedies of which the Sulpicio lines had the largest casualty?

I can go on and on, writing anything in this blog implicating anybody that I think should be responsible for this tragedy but I opt to stop to make my point. My previous arguments will point out that, the sinking of the M/V Princess is clearly, "an act of man." This does not necessarily mean that the sole responsibility lies on the “ master” alone as the Sulpicio Lines has tried to insinuate during that press conference but a combination of lack of capacity, lacking resources to operate fully, moral/ personal values of the concerned, social and political will on the part of the Sulpicio lines, the shipping industry and the concerned government authorities towards safeguarding the lives and property as the utmost concern when natural calamity like the typhoon enters the Philippine area of responsibility.

But we should not end up finger pointing those who we think are responsible or exonerating those who are not culpable in the tragedy. If we failed to learn our lessons in the past then probably we have to learn the lessons and do something about it. This asks for a closer look in the maritime laws, the implementation of these laws, continued or stronger fight against corruption and strengthening the capabilities of each government agencies like the weather forecasting agency and the coast guards and making the shipping industry more socially responsible. Together, we should work in order that no similar tragedy would happen again in the future.

And I wish that the lives of those who perished in this tragedy will not be treated as mere statistics.

I am still wondering how the compensation of 200,000 pesos per fatality has been computed given the value of human’s life. A lot of the surviving relatives might opt to receive this and settle out of court, just like what the relatives of past victims did in the past 21 years. Considering the slow paced and arguably flawed justice system in this country( it took a long emotional and financial arduous court battle of 12 years for M/V Dona Paz survivors) the victims’ immediate relatives can find the 200,000 pesos useful as soon as possible and try to move on, rather than dragging the case in court which will probably take another dozen years.

I just hope that no similar tragedy of bigger or lesser extent would happen in the future. This also comes with the wish of not seeing this lady executive from Sulpicio Lines again on another press conference about another ship from their fleet. It’s sad that the shipping company can blame the weather, even God probably, the government agencies tasked to implement maritime laws but they at all cost would not admit that part of it, they are at fault over such fortuitous event.

I pray that the lady who had the courage to speak out her anger, agony and grief would in time, accept the circumstances no matter how hard it would be, find healing and move on with her life. And may all those survivors of the remaining 800 or so fatalities find solace in their terrible pains and searing losses.

Puerto Princesa's Baragatan Festival 2008

a look at Palawan's beauty
pristine waters of Palawan

I arrived in Puerto Princesa, Palawan in the morning of the 23rd, in time for the culmination activities of the Baragatan Festival. Although i have another agenda for coming over(i was looking for possible opportunity to relocate in Palawan, a case of love at first sight since i discovered Busuanga island and had a tour on Calauit and Coron islands in may of last year), i was happy to have come at this time.

I flew in to Puerto Princesa from Manila, one of the places affected by the typhoon Frank. Due to the cancelled flights a day before, the Manila domestic airport, with its almost dilapidated condition, was full of passengers-some excited to go home while others are disgruntled due to a postponed holiday. I have taken the same domestic airline on my way to Dumaguete City in Visayas last year for the Terracota Festival and i did not experience this very stressful "checking in". This time its almost unbearable- i can hardly make my way to the queue, thanks to my water bottle, i did not faint. In some ways, its always advantageous to take connecting flights at the Centennial airport, Cebu International Airport and Davao International airport. However, i have to go to Puerto Princesa City no matter how or what. Contrary to what other passengers felt. i was happy when the flight was delayed for 25 minutes- i was able to rest a little prior to the take off and got myself a broadsheet to find out the news about the typhoon Frank. On Friday, a day before Frank's sinking an interisland vessel , i was reading about cyclones, the hows, the whys and related concerns of it and its devastation to Myanmar and China. And how the government leaders acted to it.

In contrast to the dull weather in Manila, the skies are sunny when the plane touched down Puerto Princesa International Airport. I thanked the cabin crew who were very pleasant throughout the hour flight, on my way towards the arrival area. It amazed me to see men in uniform playing in the band. While i was walking towards them i was thinking that the province is probably less worried about peace and order situation thus having a time to form a band, rehearse and play for arriving passengers. I asked the airport personnel if this is a daily activity and i was told yes- except for weekends. It reminded me the City of Melbourne whose fantastic bands composed of policemen perform gaily during special occassions most notable of which is during Australia Day celebration. Upon approaching the band in the airport, i smiled and waved at them as a sign of gratitude. A few were probably surprised but majority smiled back. Such a warm welcome right at the airport! Coming to Palawan is a breather. I am at the doorstep of paradise.

The hotel representative was early( i am so happy to have chosen them for my accomodation, such great service!) and all of the people in the receiving area are courteous and pleasant- welcoming me on my arrival with their warm smiles. Upon hopping in the van, the hotel pick-up representative immediately gave me a run -down of the activities for the Baragatan Festival. The City of Puerto Princesa has planned to make it in the Guinness World Record for the longest seafood grill. I asked if the seafood is for sale and how much would that be? I was elated to find out that after documentation, the foods will be given away for free. I got very excited and was a bit sad to forget my camera- but i looked forward to be a "participant observer" anyway. And without a camera my writing skills are pushed to the limits.

I got a welcome drink upon arrival and while resting in the hotel room, i was happy to find out that the cable tv is working. I was glued to the lady who was cursing the owners of the ship that sank on Saturday in Sibuyan Islands on its way to Cebu.(I read about her loss later- her parents and three brothers all aboard that ship- thus the anger, panic and grief). I then skipped the street parade and watched the live telecast of the Press Conference held by the Sulpicio Lines, the owner of the ill fated ship, M/V Princess of the Stars. I will write about this tragedy in my next blog.

Back to Baragatan, i rested for a couple of hours and off i went to the City Hall for the Street Dancing Competition. I forgot my camera after replacing the memory card a day prior to my trip. But the best memories, sometimes are left undocumented- yet they are kept inside the heart. Just like the first public dance with someone i once loved, the first solar eclipse i watched as an adult in a beach resort in Davao City in August 2007, my memories of the first Baragatan festival experience are safely tucked inside my heart.

Baragatan, I discovered(thanks to the ever smiling men and women in red wearing Puerto Princesa shirts who answered my queries) means "kita-kita tayo" in Filipino which translates to " let us meet up". Accordingly, this is a Cuyo word from one of the smaller islands of Palawan, Cuyo where the Filipino movie "Ploning" was filmed and released early this year. Baragatan, in essence is a convergence of sorts.

Since the main street, Rizal Avenue was closed- i followed where the throngs of people went. Wearing my hat and later using my umbrella due to the continous downpour of rain-I walked where they walked, followed where the crowds went, exchanged smiles and joined them as they shouted with glee on the fireworks display. The long stretch of road was closed so i kept on walking until i reached the Ramon Mitra Building, which i discovered a day later to be the provincial capitol. Drizzles did not stop until 8 in the evening so a lot of people stayed in for shelter. In the grounds, i noticed various stalls offering native products from delicacies to accessories to shell curtains. It is a sight to behold. Entering the building, i saw artworks done by kids displayed in the receiving area. I noticed a big turtle coloured pink which reminded me of the souviner i got from the Balinsasayaw Grill for my early dinner a couple of hours earlier.

Balinsasayaw Chicken Grill and Restaurant is conveniently located along Rizal avenue. When i am not familiar or do not know anybody in a place, it has always been my policy to dine where a lot of people go- having the law of supply and demand in my mind. If there are numerous diners, then probably the food is good. I was happy on the warm welcome accorded by the waiters and i chose a cozy spot in a native ambiance. While waiting for my order of seafood bam-i( a kind of noodles with seafoods) and avocado shake, i asked about the restaurant name. The waiter graciously answered that the name came from a bird's native name, found in El Nido( one of other resort islands of Palawan) . The foods are relatively reasonable set menus ranging from P695($11) to 1,195($26) good for 4 to 8 people and what got my attention was the exotic name of the pizza flavours- Balinsasayaw(from the El Nido bird), Maquinit(a hot spring in Coron, Palawan) and Kayangan(a pristine lake in Coron Islands that i saw on a most unforgettable island hopping trip in May 2007). I would love to go back to this restaurant with my friends simple because the ambiance, food and service is great and surprisingly, its not pricey. Just beside the dining area is the souviner shop where i got these turtles, intricately designed like the real ones by the prisoners of Iwahig Penal Colony. These souviner items are a source of income for the prisoner's and brings out the creative part of them while serving their prison terms. If they were given penalty in a fair trial and judgement proceedings is another interesting topic for a blog.

I went back to the main event of the night on foot and happily saw a 24 hour pharmacy where i got few bottles of mineral water. At last, the seafood grill activity started at around 16 past 8 in the evening amidst the cheers of the crowd. Albeit delayed due to the continuous drizzle, it failed to dampen the spirits of the locals- children and aged alike. Asking around, i found out that people look forward coming to the city to join the festivities every year. This year is exceptional because they are looking forward to put Palawan further in world news(its Subterranean River and Tubbattaha Reef is vying for the top 7 Nature's Wonders of the World already) as "World's Longest Seafood Grill".

The members of the Palawan Economic Development Council(PEDCO), garbed in identical red shirts were the main organisers of the event. The men in uniform- composed of marines, probably army, including the policemen and students were there to maintain peace and order situation although the hotel airport representative informed me earlier that the city has a low crime rate. Palawan locals, donned in jackets, raincoats and umbrellas eagerly awaited the event while the City Government staff gave away kerosene lamps and sacks of charcoal. It was a very festive mood and i felt very lucky for being there.

Seafoods of varied kinds, shapes and colours, were grilled to the delight of the tourists- local and international alike. They took time to take pictures with the grilled items, the grillers and the crowd. Truly it was a very memourable sight. Wearing a capiz earrings i got at P15($0.35) at the souviner shops earlier, i noticed a shell of similar appearance in the seaffod grill. I was very excited and asked the name of the shell being grilled and the grillers said it is called "Catipay". The owner/sponsor, named Edmund(i asked his name and said thanks) even offered to my delight- to have a try of it. I took one, liked the flavour and aroma and asked for another. I asked if i can take the shell home as a souviner which they readily granted. So this is where my fabulous earrings are made of which fetches at A$15 to A$20 back in Melbourne! As i continued walking, more people offered various seafoods, and the "Catipay shell" i discovered were also called "Capiz" shells. I even wished to buy curtains made of such material although they are bulky for my trip back home.

I saw children and aged alike- partaking seafoods of varying kinds and the sponsors practically giving it away. This was after the organisers announced that the seafood grill documentation was postponed because large part of the grill activity was damaged due to the typhoon. I gathered later that this island usually gets the "tail" thus feels the typhoon the last among the rest of the Philippines' 7,107 islands.

While i continously savoured the sumptuous Catipay or capiz shell, fireworks competition started , thus it was a delight to walk in the avenue, watch the fireworks display and joined the cheering of the crowd. For a night i felt like a local- a native of Palawan as i experienced convergence with its people and culture.

Some expressed disappointment because the documentation for the world's seafood grill did not push through as planned. Yet i found joy looking at people partaking the sumptuous seafoods being given away. Now i know better- I should have brought a plate too, as the locals did. And the rain failed to dampen the festivities and the unforgettable seafood grill. Clearly, they enjoyed the festival immensely as shown by the loud laughter and twinkling eyes of children and aged alike.

For a first-timer like me,"Baragatan" is successful to its superlative. True to its meaning, i came- and met them up- the beautiful place, its very warm people on a cold weather, and the exotic culture, all in one memourable night. Some people can never be lucky as i am. I look forward towards celebrating the future Baragatan festivals with them.

And next time, i will not forget to bring my friends, my camera and a big dinner plate.

The Bridges of Madison Country

Roseman Bridge of Madison Country

( From: http://www.madisoncounty.com/bridge.html)

Princes Bridge of the City of Melbourne

(photo taken by the blogger orange tulip )

I got this synopsis from the movie version of the novel. The story, i gathered was written in 1992 but the author opted the setting in the 1965 era.

The path of Francesca Johnson's future seems destined when an unexpected fork in the road causes her to question everything she had come to expect from life. While her husband and children are away at the Iowa state fair in the Summer of 1965, Robert Kincaid happens upon the Johnson farm and asks Francesca for directions to Rosamunde Bridge. He explains that he is on assignment from National Geographic magazine to photograph the bridges of Madison County. She agrees to show him to the bridges and thus begins the bittersweet and all-too-brief romance of her life. Through the pain of separation from her secret love and the stark isolation she feels as the details of her life consume her, she writes down the story of this four-day love affair in a 3-volume diary. The diary is found by her children among her possessions and alongside Robert Kincaid's possessions after Francesca is dead. The message they take from the diaries is one of hope that they will do what is necessary to find happiness in their lives -- whatever is necessary. After learning that Robert Kincaid's cremated remains were scattered off Rosamunde Bridge and that their mother requested a similar disposition for her own ashes, the children must decide whether to honor their mother's final wishes or bury her alongside their father as the family had planned. Adapted from the novel by Robert Waller, this is the story of love that happens just once in a lifetime -- if you're lucky.

Written by Mark Fleetwood (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0112579/plotsummary)

The 171-page hardcover novel written by Robert James Waller has been translated into 25 languages and over 12 million copies have been sold worldwide! On the New York Times Best Seller list for 3 years (and number 1 for 38 weeks), it topped Gone with the Wind in 1995 as the best-selling fiction book of all time (in hardcover, no less).(http://www.madisoncounty.com/novel.html)

I had a browse of the coffee table version of this book while waiting for my documentarian friend who is into photography and film making in her studio. As I was working with her on a documentary film, i thought that the bridges would be perfect for a movie as they look old and marvelous in a country setting. Little did i know that the novel already had a movie version. Nevertheless, it thrilled me no end.

I just came from a failed relationship when i first read this story. It made me cry instantly. Although i was grieving over a lost love, i rest in the thought that i made a choice and have to live with it no matter what. I feel sorry for Francesca for not making her choice to get out of her seemingly "unhappy situation" and did take the risk for a chance to probably become happy with her lover of four days. Probably selfless love prevailed and he honoured his commitment to his husband and children. Moralists have disliked the essence of the love story and argued that it tolerated and romanticised adultery. In fact several entries about the novel described it as "adulterous". I have my own personal values and lived with it for my own peace of mind. Yet i never judged quickly based on what i see or hear about other people

" falling in love". I simply enjoyed to" live and let live."

I still have to see the movie but i got hold of the novel and was able to read the whole story only a week ago, while lying in a beach. The sound of the waves has always been comforting and walking on the fine sands barefoot has always been relaxing. Robert and Francesca's short lived but meaningful love story has thrilled me again, but this time it made me smile, and smile again. Truly losing a beloved is extremely painful yet the gift of hope and giving love another try makes life truly worth living. I have loved and lost, loved and lost again, loved and lost once more. I sought healing, rested and contemplated , and resolved within me that humans like me are imperfect. Some but not all men may enjoy "sweet talking", love lying and enjoy playing games but there will always be few "good" men (no matter what my concept of good will be). Past losses somehow, would not stop me to keep on taking my chance to be probably- blissfully happy in the future. I have decided to never stop loving as long as my heart keeps on beating.

Reading the novel The Bridges of Madison Country reminded me of The Bridges in the City of Melbourne. Four years ago, i met someone that could have been probably my great love - if we walked many bridges more than four days and i was already unchained from my personal pains. He was a shy and unassuming new member of the choir where i belonged when we first met. He introduced himself only after i smiled at him. He was with a friend and i've got company too but we saw each other again in the tram stop, taking the same route. Since then, after rehearsals, we would walk together from the tram stop, share the tram seat and talk a little about many things, but the very remarkable was- we arrived in the city at practically the same time albeit for different purpose - he wants to live away from his parents, for change of environment and job, while i went there to study political science, practically different from my previous course in natural science.

After a few rehearsals and tram rides, he attempted to ask me out by simply asking if i have watched the movie almost everyone is talking about. He already watched it but said that he would not mind accompanying me if i want to watch it over the weekends. First date for me would usually be " for coffee" and for the more proactive guy, " a dinner" and " a coffee after". I had hesitations then but when he told me he will be watching with his friends who has not seen the movie yet. Realising how good looking and nice he was, and thinking that it is a friendly group date i said "yes- if i finish working on my essay due for next week." I told my house mate about this invite and she was thrilled. The next day, he rang " just to say hi", and the next day hi rang to say " he missed me". I was hesitant but my housemate was excited. Still wounded from a broken heart, what if he finds me boring? My friend, who saw me through it all- from crying moments day after day upon arrival in the city, to joining me in searching and counting how many cute guys are in the campus and in the city, giggled and talked about our crushes. "Going out again" is not part of my plan and my Friday nights out are with my school friends. That Friday night he has to ring me again, to find out if i can make it that Saturday. I said yes, but only in the afternoon because i have to do library work. He patiently rearranged his and his friend's schedule so i can join them. We met up in one of my favourite coffee shop( he and his friends were already there) and after finishing my hot chocolate we crossed a bridge to " The Crown" where the hotel, casino, dining and movie houses are. We watched " Passion of the Christ" and he made me sit with one of the girls. The movie with Mel Gibson as the main character is not a typical "date" movie but i enjoyed the company of new friends. After dinner, the group headed for coffee but i wanted something different, as i always do on a winter night. As my favourite ice cream flavour is served quite farther away from the coffee shop, i went ahead to get my own ice cream. A few minutes after, he rang me to find out if i was lost or ran away. Of course i did not, and i really had fun that night. My very excited housemate was still up when i arrived half an hour before midnight and asked some details of my "first date". She then remarked that he is "sweet " while i was cynical.

We went out the next Saturday afternoon again- alone this time. He told me he researched about my country's culture and found out that girls do not go out unaccompanied the first time. I know i can handle him pretty well and did not attempt to bring any companion- but he took the effort to do so. I admired him for that. We walked towards another bridge again, stopped for coffee and i have to leave early to attend a party organised by my friends. He is a very private person so i did not attempt to invite him to my friend's party. I arrived and was continously teased all throughout the party - because i am going out again and i realised i have stopped crying over my lost love. The third Saturday we walked to another bridge, and occasionally stops from time to time to rest and always he takes time to look at me intently and say that im "gorgeous." Men are generally sweet talkers i would always reply and he would try to convince me that he is not. We watched sunset together and he told me how much he liked me the first time he saw me smile. I told him that my smile are always captivating, but deep within me i realised that the warmth of his eyes while looking intently at my face can make me happy. And i remember my friend that yes, probably i can fall in love and be happy again. I kept on smiling and was thrilled over dinner. We talked about a lot of things and i answered his questions candidly. We always hug each other goodbye during rehearsals and our previous dates but this time he gave me a peck on the cheek after the hug and i smiled back- probably the sweetest smile ever, for him. It was the few last weeks of winter and probably if things would work out fine- we can be a "couple" when "spring" comes. I can bloom with the flowers and he can sing with the birds and we will be happy.

We met up for coffee the next Saturday, which unexpectedly was destined to be the last. We walked towards that bridge where we watched sunset together and he told me that he wants us to be " serious". He wanted me to be his girlfriend as he has already fallen in love with me. I was not surprised if he liked me but i was not ready for his "declaration of love" and for another "committment". I was thrilled- part of me wants to "jump to another relationship" as my friends are already excited to meet him. I arrived in this city with a wounded heart, and my coping was practically crying almost everyday. It could be a start of something beautiful, something special and i can hope to be happy again. But deep within i know that i was not totally over my past and it would be unfair for a very kind guy like him to be used " to cure" my broken heart. It has become my personal policy to grieve my losses, re-assess myself and move on once i know that i am totally healed so as not to jeopardise my new relationship with the emotional imbalance brought by my tragic experiences. In the end, i told him i am not yet ready " to be serious"- although i enjoy his company immensely. He could not understand why i was still in love with my former boyfriend even when we're no longer "together". I failed to ask him to wait until Spring as i am already on my way to healing and i like him too.

That was the last day i saw him. He said goodbye over the phone and went back to the city where his family resides the next Saturday. Initially i thought it was just for a visit but he did not come back. I did not cry but i felt bad because i know that i have hurt him terribly. I tried to go out with other guys after him but after the second date i know i have to say no on the third. This special guy who brought me to various bridges in Melbourne could probably be my great love- had i articulated that i liked him too, and asked for more time for me to sort my feelings out. I tried to communicate with him but he changed his mobile phone number, even his friends in the city that i met, was not aware how he was going- and asked me why he went back to Sydney. A year after, i went back to the same bridge where we sat sunset together and bid my goodbye to Princes Bridge of Melbourne, shed a tear over the sad memory of our last Saturday together and smiled about the happy memories while watching the sunset. I sent an e-mail thanking him for those four Saturdays that has made my stay in Melbourne a lot more memourable. I resolved to moved on after losing a love- that never was.

Just like the novel Bridges of Madison, my experience was parallel in some ways- i fell in love while visiting the bridges albeit realising it belatedly and it happened over spending quality time with him in four days. Unlike Francesca who was legally bounded thus cannot make up her mind to make a fulfillment with a newfound love, i was non committal because i allowed and nurtured strong feelings despite a failed relationship- which bounded me emotionally. Our dates were not as exciting and romantic as that of Francesca and Richard's (although when he heard that i can cook pasta, he said that he looks forward to taste my cooking of carbonara) but we had fun- and we were happy.

This is the reason why, upon reading the novel, Bridges of Madison Country, i dont cry anymore but smile and remember the City of Melbourne. Some things are not meant to last but sometimes chance although short encounters can change someone's life- if one takes the courage to take risks. My own experience has taught me not to live in the past and find fulfillment in the present. Moreover, it really showed me that true to its use, bridges connects roads-either in the country or in the city. I also realised that just like its intended use as an infrastructure, a bridge connects people's lives- in any way possible. And the memories of these bridges where i had been, makes me happy- even for a moment.

If

...Happy Father's Day!

As a tribute to my beloved Dad and all others who has been and always like a father to me, i am using this poem If by Rudyard Kipling. As a child, i hardly understood what its meaning until Daddy patiently explained it to me.

IF
If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you

But make allowance for their doubting too,

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,

If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much,

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!
--Rudyard Kipling

http://www.swarthmore.edu/~apreset1/docs/if.html

Being the first daughter(and granddaughter at my father's side), i was heavily pampered and has turned to be both "bitchy and sweet". My father is both strict and loving- we both fear and revere him and due to his being extra kind- we his children tried our best not to upset him in any way. Yet he is still forgiving and tolerant to our shortcomings. I gave him a few headaches, well fewer than what my brothers gave him- but i made him happy in some ways, especially when i achieve something remarkable at school or makes him proud as he watches me perform with my choir and dance troupe. He made enormous efforts to be in the audience, if my mom cannot make it- to cheer me even if i participate in a very simple "spelling bee contest" and would not emerge as a winner. He has been with me and my siblings in all the paths we wanted to take, whatever would that be. He tried all his might to give what we need and wanted to have in the soonest possible time. He wakes up at dawn to pray for all his children and his loved ones before jogging- and he still does it until today, probably with his grandchildren added in his list . It gives me great confidence to venture to anything i wish for- because i know someone is praying for me. During the time when "metrosexuals" are still taboo, he already was- he took care of himself until this day and he influenced us by his interests in various fragrances- saying that they make a person feel good. Coping with depression while studying overseas,buying fragrances has made me feel great. I have seen him work really hard to provide food for the table and to prepare us our own future through education. He showed us the difference between "wants" from "needs" and the patience to wait " when the right time arrives". Most importantly, he exemplified the importance of reading- he reads a lot up to now to keep himself abreast about the current social, political and economic situations. He never got mad nor upset when i wrote or drew something at his expensive book collections. Instead, he allowed me to browse, draw, color and read them even at an age that i can hardly understand the content of those books that he valued much.

He is very thoughtful and sweet. Everytime i am or my siblings go home he would try his best to cook a special meal for us. He has an eye for beauty as he immensely enjoyed photography- his kids as his favourite subjects in addition to land and seascapes. The most unforgettable childhood memories i have with him was travelling by boat, going to various places to deliver his goods and checking out various shops and restaurants. I saw the nurturing part of him when i was hospitalised for nearly a month at five, because my mom just gave birth to my first kid sister.

He has been very patient in writing mails, sending birthday cards by post, all of which expressing his deep love and his hopes and dreams for me. He does the same to my siblings too. Studying away from home, his long letters(and a few lines from mom's) has inspired me a lot "to keep going when the going gets tough". But the most precious and unforgetable letter i still keep up to now and reread from time to time was his first letter sent on the first month of my overseas studies. It made me cry with joy. He said "My beloved daughter, thank you so much for making me a very happy and proud father all these years".

If I have made him (and hopefully still do) a happy and a proud father- then probably I am a Woman- his daughter!

Crossroads

Brighton Beach, my favourite contemplation area

I am on a sort of crossroads particularly on my "career". A year ago, I realised that i want to be an educator. Although i have done teaching in non-classroom situations(giving me immense joy and fulfillment to see how these children have evolved), it came to my mind that probably i better make a "career" out of it. Thus, although my background and training were not meant to be, I applied to teach the English language in an orphanage-international school. Initially, i was not considered because as the HR staff pointed out, i lack the necessary qualification. It should have been a great opportunity to unleash that artist part of me while living in the island with them, probably organise a children's choir for the abused and abandoned children. Yet probably, i am up for better and bigger things ahead . Believing that I am overqualified to teach in that school who rejected me, i was undaunted. Now here comes an opportunity for me to teach " natural science, management, psychology and chemistry " to college students. It is interesting that these expert educators has discovered my being multifaceted and believed in me. I first visited this island last year. Enthralled, i wished to relocate, discover the" yet unknown" , do more "island hopping", take more photos, paint -and probably grow old there.

Yet the lure of working overseas excites me especially when a friend recently flew to the other part of "Down Under", in New Zealand. It might be exciting to live and work in such places where i had not been- yet. Being an artist at heart, i also have a pending application and the HRMO has already found me qualified for an interesting post in a museum where i can be privileged to meet a lot of art lovers, artists and people from various "walks of life" while working in the big city. I have also wished, prepared and has been looking forward to study in a university in London or Belgium for this year's Spring opening. What should i do?

After listening to various opinions, i had few apprehensions and somehow, i developed and recognised some fears for the unknown. I have always considered myself as a "high risk taker" yet other concerns, health concerns the foremost, have now been piling up. Will i really survive the long-term island living? If i get very sick, will the medical facilities there suffice to cure or alleviate my health condition/s? I am pretty sure i can adapt and assimilate to the island's lifesyle and culture easily but how about the other necessary concerns? I have enjoyed living independently since college, but admittedly, the places that i had been were not devoid of necessities and amenities. This leads me to keep on asking for Spiritual Guidance. And as i tried to catch up on my readings, i encountered these words of wisdom on decision- making from famous people:

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.

Norman Vincent Peale:

If you put off everything "till you're sure of it, you'll get nothing done

Anthony Robbins:

It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped

Few lines, few words yet they somehow put me in a contemplative mood. These are very helpful as i ponder which road to take. Oftentimes, when i have to do some decision-making which could largely affect my life, my future and most importantly my happiness, i have to go near the sea and talk to the waves. Suggestions and opinions from closest friends and few trusted confidants have many times been welcome and helpful- but in the end, i always tend to listen to what my inner self would tell me. Yes, I have always followed my heart although at times it led me nowhere. So off i am heading to the beach, preferably a less-crowded or most favourably, a very quiet one for me to enjoy as i "think things over" and come up with something before the 23rd. Which makes me miss Brighton Beach and my long trip by train to go there. I have shared that beach with my closest friends and it never fails to elicit happy memories of happier times together. Most importantly, contemplating on this beach has led to non regretful decision-making for me. Now I can only look at the photo and head to a beach somewhere.

I'm just wondering if and when will i be at the crossroads to more important concerns in life, the foremost is -love. Well, probably that would be more interesting. It will be equally interesting if i am able to blog about it.