Crossroads

Brighton Beach, my favourite contemplation area

I am on a sort of crossroads particularly on my "career". A year ago, I realised that i want to be an educator. Although i have done teaching in non-classroom situations(giving me immense joy and fulfillment to see how these children have evolved), it came to my mind that probably i better make a "career" out of it. Thus, although my background and training were not meant to be, I applied to teach the English language in an orphanage-international school. Initially, i was not considered because as the HR staff pointed out, i lack the necessary qualification. It should have been a great opportunity to unleash that artist part of me while living in the island with them, probably organise a children's choir for the abused and abandoned children. Yet probably, i am up for better and bigger things ahead . Believing that I am overqualified to teach in that school who rejected me, i was undaunted. Now here comes an opportunity for me to teach " natural science, management, psychology and chemistry " to college students. It is interesting that these expert educators has discovered my being multifaceted and believed in me. I first visited this island last year. Enthralled, i wished to relocate, discover the" yet unknown" , do more "island hopping", take more photos, paint -and probably grow old there.

Yet the lure of working overseas excites me especially when a friend recently flew to the other part of "Down Under", in New Zealand. It might be exciting to live and work in such places where i had not been- yet. Being an artist at heart, i also have a pending application and the HRMO has already found me qualified for an interesting post in a museum where i can be privileged to meet a lot of art lovers, artists and people from various "walks of life" while working in the big city. I have also wished, prepared and has been looking forward to study in a university in London or Belgium for this year's Spring opening. What should i do?

After listening to various opinions, i had few apprehensions and somehow, i developed and recognised some fears for the unknown. I have always considered myself as a "high risk taker" yet other concerns, health concerns the foremost, have now been piling up. Will i really survive the long-term island living? If i get very sick, will the medical facilities there suffice to cure or alleviate my health condition/s? I am pretty sure i can adapt and assimilate to the island's lifesyle and culture easily but how about the other necessary concerns? I have enjoyed living independently since college, but admittedly, the places that i had been were not devoid of necessities and amenities. This leads me to keep on asking for Spiritual Guidance. And as i tried to catch up on my readings, i encountered these words of wisdom on decision- making from famous people:

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

Each indecision brings its own delays and days are lost lamenting over lost days... What you can do or think you can do, begin it. For boldness has magic, power, and genius in it.

Norman Vincent Peale:

If you put off everything "till you're sure of it, you'll get nothing done

Anthony Robbins:

It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped

Few lines, few words yet they somehow put me in a contemplative mood. These are very helpful as i ponder which road to take. Oftentimes, when i have to do some decision-making which could largely affect my life, my future and most importantly my happiness, i have to go near the sea and talk to the waves. Suggestions and opinions from closest friends and few trusted confidants have many times been welcome and helpful- but in the end, i always tend to listen to what my inner self would tell me. Yes, I have always followed my heart although at times it led me nowhere. So off i am heading to the beach, preferably a less-crowded or most favourably, a very quiet one for me to enjoy as i "think things over" and come up with something before the 23rd. Which makes me miss Brighton Beach and my long trip by train to go there. I have shared that beach with my closest friends and it never fails to elicit happy memories of happier times together. Most importantly, contemplating on this beach has led to non regretful decision-making for me. Now I can only look at the photo and head to a beach somewhere.

I'm just wondering if and when will i be at the crossroads to more important concerns in life, the foremost is -love. Well, probably that would be more interesting. It will be equally interesting if i am able to blog about it.