Thursday, January 6, 2011

New Year

its been a while since i posted in this blog. this is because i had been so busy travelling, working and taking photographs which i happily post in my photoblog. earlier today, i realised how it liberating it was to be quiet and write my musings about almost everything that concerns or bothers me. a stressful situation earlier in the day reminded me that somehow i have to let it out, and let it go.

there are things and issues in life that i cannot compromise my ideals and values with. it may hurt me or the other side but at the end of the day, i feel comfortable for refusing something i'd rather or prefer not to do.

i reckon i need to post anything that comes to her mind at anytime.
meantime, a happy new year and here's to a new decade of bliss. cheers!

Thursday, May 27, 2010

100th Post: Giving Thanks

" Sunrise: A New Day" photo by orange tulip









this is my 100th post in this blog which has been a therapy for me for the last couple of years. life has not been generally kind to me but after all that i went through, i am still up and standing tall. after all what happened to my family and close friends which at first i was unable to comprehend, life went on and yeah i am alive.






my brother just had his fourth major surgery a couple of days ago. advanced technology has somehow eliminated the physical pains of undergoing through the necessary procedure. his third major operation four months back took him ten hours, now its four hours and he came out of the recovery room weak but half conscious. listening to his voice telling me he is okay was- indeed, "priceless" i wanted to burst out in a song and weep with joy but i resolved to keep calm and gladly listened to his voice as he told me his fervent wish- not to undergo another operation again. i told him we can still be thankful because despite all the physical pains and emotional difficulties that he has endured as a part of his traumatic experience and consequently making life dysfunctional to his wife, children and family hardships in all aspects that we have to endure, he is still alive. it is a miracle giving him the chance to re-evaluate everything in his life and go back to the basics: discover what really matters, and realise that everything he has and still is- is due to God's abundant grace.






we do not have any idea how long will he stay in the hospital, how long will it take for him to physiologically function normally, how long before he himself would be emotionally healed from his total experience but we are full of hope that yes- he can through God's grace.








i am thankful to have prayerful parents who begins and ends their day asking God to pour out His grace to all their children. i am thankful for relatives and friends who in one way or another conveyed their concern to my brother and to us. i am thankful for my brother's wife who through it all, has been a pillar of strength for their little family. i am thankful for my kid sister who practically stopped her regular activities to devote her time and energy assisting my sister-in-law or taking good care of the patient herself - from the time my brother was bed-ridden, wheel chair bound, started using crutches and as he continues to undergo therapy for the possibility of walking again.






i thank God for the strength of character that He gave me- to encourage the discouraged to keep going no matter what- to make them smile when they all wanted to do was cry and to let them remember that sunsets are not signals to a day's end but for us to look forward for the next sunrise. and each sunrise is another chance to celebrate a day added up to each person's life on this world of mortals-where we are.






all through this time, i have discovered that "full surrender" is the beginning of freedom and " letting go and letting God" is not a sign of weakness but strength and trusting is not a passive but an active verb.






i thank God for the lessons that the circumstances has brought me. and i thank God for the sunrise and many more to come.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Wordless Saturday

"waves from the deep blue sea at noon " photo by orange tulip

Monday, May 3, 2010

Farewell Elvon

" a sight close to heaven: clouds from my window seat", photo by orange tulip



... and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever
( Psalm 23)

-The Holy Scriptures





as i write this post i am trying to grasp the reason for the family tragedy. my brother escaped a near death experience three months ago when a trigger happy guy hit him thrice as he passed by(braving the rain and the darkness of the night) on his way to bring food supplies to a less fortunate friend. this happened while the authorities are busy implementing the "gun ban" due to the national elections. had it not been for a miracle, he should have been part of the statistics as the 30th casualty of the perpetrator.






as my brother is still in his hospital bed undergoing therapy hoping that he can walk again, and while waiting for the schedule of another operation for him to physiologically function normally, news came about the death of my cousin last night. interestingly, he is the only son of my father's younger brother. he is eighteen. he is on his way home from an out of town church organised youth convention aboard a van when the accident took place. while accordingly other passengers are in serious condition, he is the lone casualty.





ironically i just hosted an eighteenth"coming out" birthday party earlier this week. strangely, the motif chosen by the debutante were black and white. since it was the first time that i hosted such occasion with such colours, i insisted to have happy music to set a happy mood lest the guests may mistake the birthday party to be a funeral. majority, including me wore black. the flowers were all in white. more ironically, the news about my cousin's death was received by my eldest brother in his hospital bed, and my sister who is taking care of him sent me the sad news.








another brother immediately took a trip to the province to share the grief with my uncle and his family. i opted to stay where i am to make arrangements with the hope to be present at the funeral rites. another cousin was telling me that it is very sad beacuse elvon has to go first, at eighteen, and a very nice kid. i replied that nice or bad, rich or poor- mortals as we are, death is a sure destination we just don't know when and how. i tried to convince her that we have to be thankful because he was given eighteen years to live while some are "stillborn" or die as infants. he was a baby when his own mom passed away after a long and torturous bout with cancer. his dad, my uncle raised them as a widower and although he entertained possibilities of remarrying, he did not push through so he can focus taking care of his children. since my father has relocated, i had seen my cousins grow up very rarely. it has been eight long years since i last saw elvon on my last visit to my grandparents who were still alive then. time flies.






and the loss just sank in. a call from my brother made from his hospital bed minutes ago, worrying much about my grieving uncle despite his own concerns made me cry. and in my mind i am asking why must these tragedies happen to good people like my brother, my cousin and my uncle? i struggle to verbalise these questions.






remembering my conversations with a doctor who opted to stay in the academe, "everyone has his or her own time to leave this earth. its just a matter of when and how would this happen, mortals as we are" are source of strentgh. my college thesis turned to be my life adviser said it well-"there is nothing that we can do about it now. God took him because he has a purpose that we may not be aware as of now. you have to be at peace with God's decision."








my cousin has to go because his time was up. as humans, we look at eighteen years biologically as very short span for a lifetime. yet for someone who grew up with much love for God in his heart, elvon's life has been a full life and coming from a church activity, his sure destination is in heaven. and i reckon how painful it might have been for my uncle and his sisters and to the family- elvon has to go. as we celebrate mother's day on earth, elvon's mom who had been alone in heaven for the past seventeen years, have his only son to kiss and hug. for the baby that she left behind in this earth when she succumbed to cancer has grown up to be a fine, talented and handsome young man. he is eighteen.




elvon and aunt ellen shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever.







i find comfort in that thought.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Earth Day

Source: photobucket.com/images/earth%20day/




i am taking a moment to remember earth day and do my part. let us give back to mother earth the love that she deserves.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

The Philippine Elections 2010

what's happening at the Philippine politics is a rich source of case studies and arguably very interesting, if not amusing for political science students. first, a former president who was unsuccessfully impeached but was stripped of power through a "people's revolt", convicted of plunder and given clemency by his former vice president who took over as president. second, the current president, who held the top post in the country is seeking for a congressional seat which was vacated by his own son to seek a partylist representation for security guards. third, some senators are being adopted by at least a couple of political parties, making voters confused which party they are really loyal to and fifth the house speaker( who took over the former who has tried his best to make arroyo's president afloat until his own son and namesake testified about the ZTE scam) expressing his frustrations over the current administration candidate for some reasons, most notable of which for me is "not saying hi" to him prior to going to his davao city sortie, where he still need to win elections as a mayor. after being in the headline news of bolting the party, he did not push through but continued to ramble, at least enough for the media to notice.
some weeks ago, a very amusing incident on noynoy aquino's sortie in bacolod city was the talk of the town. baby james, the adorable two year old son of noynoy's celebrity sister kris upon prodding, said " hello"over the microphone, and when the crowd roared "hello" back and he blurted "veeyar" which made villar's day and took as an endorsement. these two presidentiables, aquino and villar respectively, if the surverys could be believed are occupying the first two spots in the presidential race.
as if surveys translates to votes, made noynoy very confident enough to say that all other presidentiables give up since its a toss between him (a heir of the hacienda luisita in tarlac which made generations of sugar workers landless) and villar(the poor rich guy who already spent billions for his infomercials which accordingly was his own money yet did not provide clear explanation about the C5, a government road project controversy and instead pointed out that his archrival benefited from SLEX, another road project)
what went on later was mudslinging from both camps. this went to the extent of dignifying a supposedly fake psychiatric report and bringing out the bad to worse from both sides, hitting each other "below the belt" and so on and so forth. both pinpoint at each other as arroyo's secret candidate while all this time, gilbert teodoro was staying put and assuring people that he remains the administration candidate.
i was not surprised at all when chavit singson of ilocos sur turned his back from the current administration to support nacionalista's party bearer manny villar. i did not believe nograles leaving lakas would make much impact for as teodoro puts it " he has to win the mayoralty first" . neptali gonzales II's transfer was a huge surprise but the most significant, i reckon was the administration's top economic adviser who called his boss "lucky bitch" joey salceda moving to the liberal party where his ateneo classmate was the standard bearer.
prior to cory aquino's death, i have thought that 2010 presidential elections was between gilbert teodoro and mar roxas, both of privileged upbringing and armed with education obtained from abroad, teodoro from harvard law school and roxas from the wharton school of economics. i am wondering what difference it would have made if the presidential elections was a 'battle of the minds" and not "battle of the mouths." listening to them is quite tiring and frustrating.
if the surverys are to be believed, roxas is the continuous topnotcher in the vice presidential race which is good. teodoro, on the other hand is looked upon for his qualifications and admired for not joining the mudslinging among candidates, yet surveys placed him on the continuous fourth place not necessarily because of his lackluster performance in his previous government jobs but because he is the candidate endorsed by the administration that majority of filipinos have grown to hate if the disapproving ratings are to be believed.
initially, i was rooting for richard gordon due to his achievements as a topman in subic, his lots of ideas for economic advancenet and political will. but the way gilbert teodoro is holding up these seemingly difficult days when some of his own party mates pulls him down invites reconsideration. despite of unreleased party funds if news are to be believed, he continues on his own sorties even the wife of his own kingmaker uncle campained "anybody but gibo". after all, he is the candidate next to gordon who is focused and has solid plans of what to do if elected president while the others have not clearly discussed their platform of government would be. and given the defections that he experienced the past few days, he reinvented himself as the "people's candidate" albeit belatedly, which might give him a chance for the presidency .
and yes, he has a very pretty and intelligent wife with privileged upbringing which would probably make a first lady that the filipinos can be proud of.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Elated Over Ampatuan Transfer

i join the many people all over the world who are happy about the transfer of the Ampatuans. although his lawyers tried a lot of delaying tactics, the patriarch was finally at the Camp Bagong Diwa in Manila. last friday afternoon, my colleagues and me were amused by how the military stood ground in taking him from a private hospital in davao city despite various protestations from the members of his family. i was surprised to find out in the news that those who were at the neighbouring city of General Santos were also flown to Manila using the same military plane.



those who were behind this development, the court, the military authorities and all who have helped such transfer a successful activity deserves commendation whoever they are. and i join the families of those whose lives were violated one november morning, in hoping that justice that they have been seeking, would come swiftly.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Happy Easter

today is a very special day for the entire Christian world being the resurrection sunday. i spent the holy week quietly watching movies that has carefully featured Jesus Christ's life on earth. happily, the ending was indeed happy, for He is risen with the promise to come again.
i am holding on to such promise. meantime, i will live my life abundantly as He has wished for all his childen. let's be happy, its easter!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Year 2010



i celebrate the new year with the people that undoubtedly loves me inspite of, despite of, come what may. i am thankful for this new year which beckons new beginnings, new hopes and aspirations for the fulfillment of new dreams.





each new year brings much hope for better days ahead. the past year was not exactly best, but, it was good. i refuse to look back over past disenchantments, enjoy my present and look forward to whatever this new year brings to me and to the people i love the most. being alive each day is a great reason to celebrate.





now i have to join the family celebration, our way of welcoming the new year, 2010!

Monday, November 30, 2009

The Horror of Maguindanao Massacre

"assalamualaykum", a Muslim greeting wishing someone "peace"

As a Mindanaoan, I have heard news of killing from here to there from time to time, yet the magnitude of the killings done in broad daylight as what occurred last Monday, 23th of November, three days prior to “thanksgiving day” is beyond my understanding. I am quite aware of clan wars and the reason why they happen but when women and people from the media is hurt and worse, killed in the process, my comprehension fails me. Muslim tradition, as written in all news accounts do not touch women in “rido”as they are treated like innocent children. Moreover, the presence of media supposedly neutralizes a hot situation but apparently, it did not. Nobody was spared in the convoy of 57 people on their way to file Ampatuan’s supposed challenger’s candidacy as governor in Maguindanao. I am quite familiar with the Davao City-Cotabato City route, and I did not sense any harm especially when travelling on daytime not many summers back.





Reading the news accounts on Tuesday morning has both appalled and horrified me. All throughout the whole country, people from all sectors of society are talking about the Maguindanao incident. Some argues that it is politically motivated, which may be the most apparent reason for committing such barbaric act but the root of it all is, without a doubt, the lust for power. In the succeeding days, I would proceed to the newstands to get my own copy of the major daily newspapers to find out how is it going after the very sad incident. Sad to note, the news had been covered in international papers and television channels, with updates in the net. And this occurred few days after pouring accolades on another triumph of Manny Pacquiao in the boxing arena and of Efren Penaflorida as the CNN Hero of the Year for his pushcart education advocacy. What a sad contrast.





The past few days I am lost for words. I cannot put into words the indignation and horror that I felt not necessarily because I am a Mindanaoan, a citizen of my country the Philippines but most importantly as a human being for such grave crime against humanity. Clearly, the civil, political and human rights of these people were violated, in this modern day and age . Looking at the list of the fatalities makes someone feel sick. The victims of such cruel acts that I heard of, in my lifetime are harmless women(a couple reportedly pregnant), lawyers and a parent of a female lawyer, large number from the media, and the supposedly target of the attack, the Mangudadatu’s kin. What is more sickening is the report that even those who just happened to pass by during that time were reportedly shot- all killed in broad daylight. And at this time, from yesterday’s forty six(46)the number has reached fifty seven(57). This is a huge number considering the time frame and the circumstances of such killings.


The United Nations has expressed their outrage as well as the European Union and the British and Australian governments. One of the reports notes that such killings has made this country worst than Iraq for journalists. It makes me feel sick looking at the photos flashed on my TV screen and reading about the news accounts. I do not know anyone among the dead personally but I can feel the pain as if I am a friend or a family member, pretty much like what other people all over the world feels for the victims and their families.





A lot has been written about how the clan suspected to carrying out such carnage has been very close to the current Administration and how, like majority, doubts about implementing the so called “rule of law” that they kept on saying during media interviews. I have some fears that this incident could escalate to further killings increasing the statistics from both sides or sadly even those who may unfortunately pass by. I am appalled by how the executive branch of the Philippine government is treating the “suspects”. Imagine a senior peace adviser from Malacanang going to the suspect’s residence to encourage him to surrender instead of being invited by the police for questioning. And when he finally “surrendered” the peace adviser, looked like his legal counsel and the justice secretary sounding like his defense lawyer. The “surrender” occurred few days after and not surprisingly, the suspect got a VIP treatment whether the current administration tries their best efforts in denying it and the " suspect"was not handcuffed, in contrast to the journalists caught in between the renegade and government troops in that memourable Manila Peninsula Hotel siege.





Yet I cannot stop wondering how the victims’ families are coping with their sudden loss as a result of this act of savagery. And as I join the community of those expressing outrage about such carnage and at the same time sympathising with the survivors of the victims and seeking justice for the fifty seven(57) who died as a result of this monsterous act, I kept on wondering- when will the other suspects surrender or at least be arrested for such brutal killings?






Not many years back, I did an essay on failed state for my "Global Politics" course in Political Science Down Under. I looked at certain countries as case studies and as I remember the points that I took in arguing why a "failed state" should be called as such, I fear that the Philippines is in the brink of such state.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Typhoon Ondoy/Ketsana in the Philippines

after all has been said and done, i reckon that nature has taken its course. careless acts of irresponsible humans, indiscriminate cutting of trees in the forested areas and throwing away of solid waste has came back to affect humans. this sadly resulted to sudden surge of water on that memourable day of 26th septemberresulting to loss of properties and lives and caused trauma to the survivors. as the time of noah, the flood has become the great leveller of all in the philippines, specifically in the national capital region.
and i wonder how the evacuees will survive their sad conditions and those who had been pained by sudden loss of loved ones and properties too.
it carefully reminds us that nothing is permanent in this earth of ours so let us try our best to live to the fullest, one day at a time.
after surviving ondoy, i am taking a long break to bond with my loved ones who were very much worried about me on the eve of the typhoon ondoy.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The Superferry 9 Tragedy

the deep blue sea on a calm day, by orange tulip



early this month i was flirting with the idea of going to cebu unannounced, by taking the boat as i have reluctantly done four years back, for the love of a friend who is like a mother to me, but due to my unforgetable experince with the sulpicio's "princess of the universe" i was contemplating to take the arguably better shipping line and take any superferry vessel that goes to cebu.



ill-fated "princess of the stars" sank at the height of the typhoon "frank" in june of last year. i was thinking that the worse typhoons have passed through this country and i am looking forward to taking pictures of sunset in the middle of the sea, alone, undisturbed. i was even thinking of waking up very early the next morning for a sunrise photo. i have a long time friend whom i met at the mall in cebu city the last time i went there by boat and flew back to manila by plane and im wondering how he looks like four years after.



all was almost set, i have scheduled my weekend get way to be the third week of september and i am short of buying the ticket which i heard is on promo thus, i can probably get good deals both in the shipping and the airline.



yesterday's headline was a huge surprise and its just a year and two months after the "princess of the stars" sank and a couple of weeks when the documentary about the "m/v dona paz" with more than four thousand lives lost was shown on television. i was content reading the news online but this time i grabbed newspapers and read and reread the news accounts, and today that of the survivors.



in sharp contrast to the "princess of the stars" where help was practically nil during their most difficult time, despite of the lives lost and the trauma that happened to the passengers of "superferry 9" i am quite content on how the passengers were treated, and the crew were reportedly the last to abandon the ship. aboitiz shipping was swift to release its statement and in some way, the rescued passengers were taken cared of. although its quite sad to hear that the death toll was 9, compared to close to 900 lost lives in the "princess of the star" last year. accordingly, distress call was five hours prior to the sinking of the ship and rescue was quite soon thus, having a huge number of survivors.



it is quite disturbing to read today's newspaper accounts from passengers that there was not enough life saver, reminiscent of the "titanic" minus the icebergs. and there was only nine hundred passengers on board! how come that there were no sufficient life savers? if this is true then its a very sad news about the arguably best shipping company in this country.



some passenger accounts say there was a loud thud from the cargo prior to its tilting to one side. there were other possible reasons and it is imperative, i reckon that the authorities would "get to the bottom of this".



i have also read that an inquiry has been formed, which is habitually done everytime a ship has sank. today i have read that all the ships of the aboitiz has been "grounded" although those in the middle voyage was allowed to continue to their travel to manila which is just logical. and i am wondering what happened to the results of the inquiries from the past sinking of the ships by shipping authorities.
were there any review or revision of maritime policies? did these inquiries found any policy gaps and learned something and try to resolved them and in all efforts, "ill-fated sinking" of ships would not happen again and the lives lost would not turn to mere statistics.



more than a year ago, i have argued that the sinking was not an "act of God"http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/greed-and-princess-of-stars-tragedy.html. i am now a busy person who cannot spend time arguing that this latest sinking, that of "superferry 9" is an "act of man" but i will definitely wait for the results of the "inquiry".





meantime, i have cancelled my plans of riding a passenger boat to cebu, palawan or even iloilo and general santos city. i will be content to watch the clouds via my favourite airline, the next time i decide to embark on a journey and can afford to do so.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Farewell Tita Cory

an statement of thanks, statement of love

braving the long queue, for the love of Tita Cory




yellow flag in front of the Manila Cathedral





headline news







last Saturday, i woke up to the sad news that the nation's "icon of democracy" has passed away on the first day of August. i joined the nation in mourning for her passage on earth by watching the television specials about her. my own grandmother died of complications arising from her colon cancer many years back so i am aware how painful this disease could be. it is remarkable that despite the pain that her illness has brought Cory, she according to her children, did not complain.








what struck me among many comments about Cory and Ninoy's death was- both has united the nation. according to a former cabinet member Vicente Paterno in one of the news accounts, although it was hatred of a conjugal dictatorship that drove the Filipinos together, many years later it was because of love for the former president Corazon Cojuangco Aquino, fondly called Tita Cory.








some friends went in the early morning of Sunday(2 AM) at the La Salle Greenhills gym so they are no longer keen in accompaying me today. this morning, i braved the long queue to have a last glimpse of Tita Cory at the Manila Cathedral. although i have followed most of the live coverages since Saturday, nothing compares to the experience of going to do my share of thanking Cory for what she has done for the country. it took me a couple of hours and a half of travel time to the cathedral, an hour of lining up for public viewing and few seconds to be inside the cathedral to catch a glimpse of Tita Cory before noon, but i will cherish this experience forever.
there are a lot of things i admire about Tita Cory, but foremost is her unwavering faith in God even in times of persecution, sufferings, illness and pain. in sickness she has united the Filipino people in prayer.in death she united her countrymen like how her husband Ninoy did 26 years ago. political and social differences were set aside as thousands or perhaps millions converged to pay their last respects to her and express condolences to her surviving family and children.
ss a wife and mother, becoming a president of the country and back to becoming a private citizen, her deep faith was clearly manifested at all times. prayer has always been her source of strength, courage and determination in trying to probably live her life to the fullest, despite the seemingly insurmountable odds in her lifetime. her life showed that money and power is not enough to have a meaningful life but having a God and recognizing His Supreme power above all.
outpouring of much love for her was expressed by braving the heat of the sun and even the heavy rains to queue for a number of hours to be able to have a few seconds glimpse, say thanks or say a prayer to a former president lovingly called 'Tita Cory".

i join the blogging community in expressing my admiration for her quiet grace and the courage to face death. but it did not stop there.



wearing a yellow ribbon i went to Manila Cathedral as my own expression of love- for love of Cory, for democracy that she has restored and for love of this country.








farewell Tita Cory. thank you for the inspiration that you have given the entire country and probably the world, and to me.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blogging Break

my journey goes on


after focusing much on my physical well-being, i reckon that i am most productive and probably the happiest when i am very busy juggling my studies, job, personal and social life, like what i did few years back.




i will be back to blogging as soon as i have written my thesis proposal for the possibility of postgraduate studies overseas, with the hope of learning other things along the way on top of the so called "intellectual pursuit".




meantime, happy easter!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Nicole Recants and Goes to the US

a hibiscus flower covers a naked statue in a Zamboanga hotel



i was among those who were doubtful about this woman called " Nicole" on her claim of rape against that not bad looking Smith. when discussions arose, i would be the 1 out of 5 or a couple of us out of 7 casting doubts about Nicole's story. well of course i got sneers specially from those who were feminists or women activists when i raise my questions like 1) why would she be extra friendly with Smith and his friends when she went to the club through an invitation of a certain guy, her friend named Chris? 2) if she did not like nor quite attracted to Daniel Smith, why should she drink with him and his friends, dance with him and did not mind being left behind unaccompanied at all when her companion friend went ahead of her? 3) can rape occur in the company of Smith's friends at the back of the van while being driven? and 4) can a supposedly rapist who was supposed to be randy at the time, be careful enough about his protection and somehow still conscious of the repercussions of such acts by taking time to use a condom?







i was fortunate enough to have some lawyer friends( the most influential was my former boss, a VP in the top corporation in the country who turned lawyer given his advanced age, taking the bar exams once) kind enough to explain to me that Smith was convicted, due to circumstancial evidences. i stopped asking questions for some time and kept quiet when discussions about this supposedly rape case topic arose. at one point i was convinced that probably, Smith was guilty beyond reasonable doubt.










"it was consensual sex" - that was according to Smith and his friends and that was what they insisted during the much hyped and melodramatic litigation which took a year or so, an exceptional feat considering the country's justice system. of course this case is highly exceptional- that is, it has involved an American serviceman (who was in the Philippines as a for the Visiting Forces Agreement, VFA) and a probably pretty yet ordinary Filipina who at the time of the so called "rape" had an American boyfriend and as stated in the 11th statement of her affidavit had an "American dream"(part of her statement said " I was scared of losing not only my American boyfriend but the chance of living in the United States).








but the activists, particularly the feminists, the politicians who had something to say "every step of the way" and media hype have helped a lot until the so called justice was served. Judge Pozon issued the guilty verdict to the delight of the majority who cared and perhaps sympathised with " Nicole" for the triumph of justice at that time. Smith was subsequently incarcerated in the Makati City jail but was taken shortly at midnight to dawn to the US embassy- clearly a US territory even if geographically it is within the Philippine soils. this has raised a lot of concern from all sectors but nevertheless, Smith, although supposedly did a crime against the Filipino people, to a Filipina named " Nicole" is " serving his prison terms" in the US embassy. at the back of my mind i was wondering, if the three companions of Smith were acquitted, how come that Smith was given the verdict " guilty without reasonable doubt?" of course answers would point out to a lot of what the lawyers called " circumstancial evidence" and being a non-lawyer, i stopped wondering and made myself busy with other concerns and became aware of other issues.

















few weeks back, the Supreme Court has ordered that Smith should be taken by the Philippine government and few days after such headline came the report that the Philippines was not in a hurry to take Smith to their custody. surprisingly, it was the lawyer of " Nicole" who has given her reactions to this and the so called "victim" of Smith's crime of rape and her family were unusually quiet.










today's headline had seemingly answered it all. Nicole recanting her testimony, casting doubts about her own person, mentioning how she has treated the US army servicemen in general like " her family" while growing up in Zamboanga City and her mother doing the catering in the military base canteen. i do not intend to demean "Nicole" about her personal decision, "to bury the hatchet" and leave her country and go- to all places " United States", because probably she had nothing left to start all over again. there was no report how she has been, or if she at all was given assistance, a job maybe( she's reportedly a graduate from Ateneo de Davao) to go on living a "normal life" for supposedly rape victims like her. or probably it was her choice to live a life as quietly as it can be. perhaps she succeeded in doing so and then the sudden boomerang- she recants and flies to US- for good.













" she has nothing to lose and everything to gain" says Remonde of the Malacanang palace, as reported both in the Philippine Daily Inquirer and Philippine Star, my favourite broadsheets in the country but somehow, depending on how someone looks at it either as a win or loss, and considering its moral, judicial, legal and probably its effects to the Philippines' foreign policy specifically on the very touch issue of the VFA, i reckon- her actions has brought some implications to Filipinas and probably the entire nation:







first, money the meager 100,000 pesos, around $2,000(at least that's what is reported) has probably made her change her mind because she does not have any chance at all in the Philippines. she comes from an ordinary family who probably sees that going to the US as she had wished expressed in her affidavit of recantation, is probably a solution to one's confusion or hardship in the Philippines.







second, the efforts of her lawyers, most of all Atty. Ursua were disregarded when she made her personal decision to quit her "fight". before her recantation, she served or at least that's what the media tried to portray, as the "epitome of a brave Filipina." lawyers would insist that the crime was against the Filipino people and not only to Nicole as a person( Atty. Ursua, her lawyer said that rape is a public crime and the family's personal decision regarding the case should be immaterial) but arguably, her recantation has given a major setback on the case. it is interesting to note here that Judge Pozon, who issued the guilty verdict argued that the recantation of Nicole will not necessarily lead to the acquittal of her convicted rapist.









third, it has tremendously affected how "others" look at the " Filipina". and when i say others its not only by citizens of the countries outside the Philippines, but by the Filipinos themselves.arguably, some Filipinas had probably seen marrying foreigners as the escape to poverty or the ticket to a better life. and in this country where possibilities and chances for a better life at your own efforts to succeed socioeconomically, even armed with a good education are small, they are always thrilled at the thought of having foreigners as a " knight in shining armour" or a "prince" saving them from their current situation to the possibility of having a " better life" even only in terms of financial aspects. almost three years ago, immediately after my overseas studies, i took a cab from a hotel to a mall in cebu city. since the weather in the Philippines is usually warm, in my usual mini skirt, tops and thongs(that's how we call the flip flops where i just came from), to meet a friend based in cebu. the cab driver told me " oh that's where lots of beautiful ladies go with the hope of getting noticed by foreigners looking for future " partners"- i am sure you'll get noticed". i did not ask him to qualify or define what sort of "partner" he was trying to refer and i simply retorted - "oh, i am just meeting a long time friend who opted to relocate in this city". i am not sure and i did not care if i convinced him with my answer but his remarks stayed in my thoughts in the next few days.i found it funny and serious altogether. another cab incident was when i was requested by a handicapped friend to bring an invitation for an an art exhibit opening a couple of years ago to the hotel where lots of foreigners stay, in roxas boulevard in manila. it was a warm summer day and i was in a spaghetti strap tops and flip flops. the cab driver, whom i hailed from the makati business district- on our way to the hotel brazenly asked me, " is it good there?" and i retorted "what do you mean? " you know, the pay of the residents for a night stay?". i told him that i am just dropping by to hand an invitation to an art exhibit personally- with all the composure remaining to me but i am quite unsure he believed me. true enough, i got the disturbing and naughty glances from the men assigned in the reception area when i asked for assistance to go to a room of their resident/guest. i almost snapped due to my experience with the cab driver but when i used a different twang speaking a foreign language all throughout, i was given the respect that i deserved. but the most unforgetable of all was the account of a beautiful Filipina sent by her parents to study overseas to learn a lot about living independently. she was taking a ride from work(she worked part- time while studying, which is usual to overseas students) in a tram(the mode of public transport in addition to the bus and train) when suddenly, the guy asked her if she is a Filipina and when she said "yes", she was asked if she wants to marry him(a total stranger!) we discovered, although we are quite unsure( we were busy attending to our studies and not to these gossips- alright) it turned out that in that city, there were talks spreading that many Filipinas, sad to note, seek a tourist visa, stay there as " tourists" while trying to find a "husband". of course this beautiful friend declined the what i call "indecent proposal" and informed the guy that she was there on a student visa but the horror of being treated that way, simply because of her nationality stayed for some time. we have laughed at it several times while i relate my own stories but then again- beyond the funny aspect of it all, it is a serious matter.








it is really saddening, but it would be unfair to judge Filipinas like Nicole who, in the hopes of better life ahead, arguably do not put much value on their dignity as a person or as Filipina(Inquirer Research quoted her as saying "they(rapists) destroyed my dignity and violated me as a person. now i am again wondering if this melodramatic yet sounding very broken dialogue was due to a very smart coaching. and i am thinking- does it all boil down to money and " better opportunities" or " better future?" i have no objection whatsoever to Filipinas, or Asians for that matter marrying foreigners(as how Filipinas view Caucasians, Europeans and even fellow Asians, even the coloured people) as they are quite a feast on the eyes( not necessarily because they are all good looking but mostly because they look different) , and could probably be great lovers, but i wish that they undergo the normal circumstances of getting to know each other, probably falling in love, and agreeing to build a future together. after all, regardless of who the person or where he or she came from, red, yellow, olive, white or black skinned -everybody deserves to be happy.









blogger further sayeth naught.














Friday, March 6, 2009

Submitting to His Will

this photo was from Francis Magalona's last blog entry in multiply

"To His will I submit myself."


earlier today, news about the popular Filipino rapper Francis Magalona's passing away has reached me. a naughty friend, who came over to bring me the news told me in jest that he is right in enjoying his life to the fullest, loving as many girls as he can and that he is encouraging his other male friends to do so. i have always argued with him about his principles and values in life yet i never imposed mine too. this time however, i only smiled at his statement about his definition of living his life to the fullest and focused our conversation on Francis' passing away.
Francis succumbed to cancer at 44 leaving his young family behind. i remember how positive and enthusiastic francis was the last time i read a newspaper article( entertainment section) about him- around late last year.
my brothers have always liked his rap singing talent and song writing prowess(most interesting was "Mga Kababayan Ko(To My Countrymen)" and i always liked his boyish looks and charming smiles. few minutes before writing this blog, i tried to find some news about him in the net and a GMA article( a television network in the country which he is one of the talents) was helpful. it goes like this:


Magalona's last blog entry requests for prayers


MANILA, Philippines - Francis Magalona's last blog entry in Multiply was dated Jan. 14, 2009. He related about his fourth chemotherapy session, and asked for a simple favor from his fans and supporters. See his complete post below:

Good evening, people. I am getting prepared for my 4th Chemotherapy cycle, and I will be admitted tonight at The Medical City. I will be doing some tests tomorrow, wish me luck. Friday I begin my 4th cycle, which is a Hi-Dose kind, as will be taking 6 grams of CytarabinTM a day every other day for 3 days.


(According to webmd.com, Cytarabine is given intravenously. Sometimes it is given as a shot under the skin or directly into the spinal fluid. It can be given in a low, average, or high dose. Cytarabine is classified as an antimetabolite. It kills cancer cells by interfering with the way they multiply. Cytarabine is used to treat acute myelogenous leukemia [AML] and acute lymphoblastic leukemia. It is sometimes used to treat non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and some types of brain tumors.)


I will be at the 14th floor of the TMC, as usual. I brought a lot reading materials (bible included!) and DVDs to keep me company while I do my treatment. I will be doing my radiation treatment by February and my PBSCT (Peripheral Blood Stem Cell Transplant) will be done by March.I look forward to the pain as I know my journey is on full speed ahead. I will not be bold to say that without asking a favor from you all. PLEASE PRAY for me as I undergo treatment. Your prayers, as always, have sustained me. And am sure the Lord will listen to all our prayers. To His will I submit myself.

God bless you, my friend.


PS: I will be needing blood donors for blood and platelets. Please go to the lower ground floor of The Medical City and donate blood in my name. For platelets Apheresis you may go have yourself screened at the Phil. Nat'l Red Cross at the Pier in Manila. I am type O positive. Thank you again.


i tried having a look at Francis' blog too, particularly his last blog entry prior to his hospitalisation. i saw his entry and the photo where with his contagious smile. i copied the picture that he himself probably posted and to the end, he has been very positive. perhaps physical pain brought by a type of leukemia that afflicted him has taught him a lot in this life. it was indeed a "happy battle" and i will always remember and probably millions will remember too- the last line in his blog that immensely struck me. "To His Will I submit myself."


now how many of us, either healthy or sick-can bravely say that?

Saturday, February 14, 2009

How Do I Love Thee?

a pre-valentine artwork

V- day "freedom wall"






this poem, "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is my favourite poem of all time, immediately next to "Desiderata" . according to my web sources, "It formed part of the Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "Sonnets from the Portuguese", written in her Italian days at the Casa Guidi. It is addressed to her husband, who used to call her 'My little Portuguese" as she was dark.





and since today is valentine's day i find this poem most fitting to be posted in my blog along with pre-valentine photos that i took a day before.


How do I love thee?


How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.








how do i love thee? i cannot count the ways...
















Friday, February 13, 2009

If You Forget Me

a shore where there is peace and quiet...








a couple of weeks ago, a friend lent me her collection on poetry and i instantly liked " If You Forget Me" by Pablo Neruda (http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1971/neruda-bio.html.) more interesting is the translation, or where it was translated from which is immediately below:



If You Forget Me
- Pablo Neruda



I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I lookat the crystal moon,
at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists:
aromas, light, metals,were little boats that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.


Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.


If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.


But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.


Si Tu Me Olvidas


Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

T� sabes c�mo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento oto�o en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuegola impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la le�a,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran peque�os barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.


Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejar� de quererte poco a poco.


Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habr� olvidado.
Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del coraz�n en que tengo ra�ces,
piensa
que en esa d�a,
a esa hora
levantar� los brazos
y saldr�n mis ra�ces
a buscar otra tierra.


Pero
si cada d�a,
cada hora,
sientes que a m� est�s destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada d�a sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor m�o, ay m�a,
en m� todo ese fuego se repite,
en m� nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estar� en tus brazos
sin salir de los m�os.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Bushfire in Australia


"bushfire", photo taken from the news report






i was hoping to watch the movie "Australia" starring the Aussies Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman and probably enjoy the sight of the "outback" and kangaroo in the cinema during the weekend but my health concerns required me to stay home instead. so i just relaxed and wished that i would be able to join crowds, go to the mall, and hope that i can watch the movie soon.










earlier, it's my mom's turn to see her doctor after her most recent hospitalisation and i had the chance to surf the net no matter how challenging could it be. i wanted to try opening my email account, which might work out this time, but my attention was turned to the news headlines and i found it terribly devastating to read about the tremendous loss of lives, and properties in my dear state of Victorian where its people have been kind and friendly. while it has been cold winters on other parts of the world, its summer down under and i heard that temperature rose to 46 degrees Celcius in Melbourne (when 40 degrees Celcius in Sydney has been extremely warm enough when i celebrated the new year's day with Sydney based friends not too long ago).












accordingly, the official toll rose to 131 according to the police and part of the report says: "The death toll surpasses that from the 1983 Ash Wednesday bushfires, in which 75 people died in Victoria and South Australia , and the Black Friday bushfires of 1939, which killed 71." (http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5307913/vic-bushfires-death-toll-107-police/, http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5306498/25-killed-victorian-bushfires/, http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5308391/rescuers-brace-bushfire-horror/)










part of the reports said:"By 8.30pm (AEDT), at least 750 homes had been destroyed, more than 330,000 hectares burnt out - 220,000 ha alone in the Kinglake Complex wildfire - while authorities said some fires could take weeks to contain.










sometime ago, i did a case study about these bushfires on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but the things i learned from lots of readings in relation to bushfires has not really prepared me to deal with this current bushfire, i felt very sad. while my heart goes to the Aussies affected by this tragic incident, i wish that the devastation would be contained and would end sooner than expected.








in addition to prayers, Victorian victims also needs material help- badly. i have seen this attachment in the news report, although Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has warned about possible fraud in receiving donations, i hope that this is the legitimate link as provided in the news report :

[Victorian Bushfire Appeal: http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5307609/victorian-bushfire-appeal how to donate]