reckons of spring

Reconnected

2011-01-06T05:32:00.000-08:00

its been a while since i posted in this blog. this is because i had been so busy travelling and working and taking photographs which i post in my photoblog. i just realise how i missed writing my musings about almost everything that concerns or bothers me. a stressful situation earlier in the day reminded me that somehow i have to let it out, and let it go.

there are things and issues in life that i cannot compromise my ideals and ethics and values. it may hurt me or the other side but at the end of the day, i feel comfortable for refusing something i'd rather or prefer not to do.

yes, spring has reconnected and will keep on posting anything that comes to her mind at anytime.

meantime, a happy new year and here's to a new decade of bliss. cheers!

100th Post: Giving Thanks

2010-05-27T07:58:00.000-07:00

" Sunrise: A New Day" photo by orange tulip

this is my 100th post in this blog which has been a therapy for me for the last couple of years. life has not been generally kind to me but after all that i went through, i am still up and standing tall. after all what happened to my family and close friends which at first i was unable to comprehend, life went on and yeah i am alive.

my brother just had his fourth major surgery a couple of days ago. advanced technology has somehow eliminated the physical pains of undergoing through the necessary procedure. his third major operation four months back took him ten hours, now its four hours and he came out of the recovery room weak but half conscious. listening to his voice telling me he is okay was- indeed, "priceless" i wanted to burst out in a song and weep with joy but i resolved to keep calm and gladly listened to his voice as he told me his fervent wish- not to undergo another operation again. i told him we can still be thankful because despite all the physical pains and emotional difficulties that he has endured as a part of his traumatic experience and consequently making life dysfunctional to his wife, children and family hardships in all aspects that we have to endure, he is still alive. it is a miracle giving him the chance to re-evaluate everything in his life and go back to the basics: discover what really matters, and realise that everything he has and still is- is due to God's abundant grace.

we do not have any idea how long will he stay in the hospital, how long will it take for him to physiologically function normally, how long before he himself would be emotionally healed from his total experience but we are full of hope that yes- he can through God's grace.

i am thankful to have prayerful parents who begins and ends their day asking God to pour out His grace to all their children. i am thankful for relatives and friends who in one way or another conveyed their concern to my brother and to us. i am thankful for my brother's wife who through it all, has been a pillar of strength for their little family. i am thankful for my kid sister who practically stopped her regular activities to devote her time and energy assisting my sister-in-law or taking good care of the patient herself - from the time my brother was bed-ridden, wheel chair bound, started using crutches and as he continues to undergo therapy for the possibility of walking again.

i thank God for the strength of character that He gave me- to encourage the discouraged to keep going no matter what- to make them smile when they all wanted to do was cry and to let them remember that sunsets are not signals to a day's end but for us to look forward for the next sunrise. and each sunrise is another chance to celebrate a day added up to each person's life on this world of mortals-where we are.

all through this time, i have discovered that "full surrender" is the beginning of freedom and " letting go and letting God" is not a sign of weakness but strength and trusting is not a passive but an active verb.

i thank God for the lessons that the circumstances has brought me. and i thank God for the sunrise and many more to come.

Wordless Saturday

2010-05-08T13:27:00.000-07:00

"waves from the deep blue sea at noon " photo by orange tulip

Farewell Elvon

2010-05-03T01:03:00.000-07:00

" a sight close to heaven: clouds from my window seat", photo by orange tulip

... and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever
( Psalm 23)

-The Holy Scriptures

as i write this post i am trying to grasp the reason for the family tragedy. my brother escaped a near death experience three months ago when a trigger happy guy hit him thrice as he passed by(braving the rain and the darkness of the night) on his way to bring food supplies to a less fortunate friend. this happened while the authorities are busy implementing the "gun ban" due to the national elections. had it not been for a miracle, he should have been part of the statistics as the 30th casualty of the perpetrator.

as my brother is still in his hospital bed undergoing therapy hoping that he can walk again, and while waiting for the schedule of another operation for him to physiologically function normally, news came about the death of my cousin last night. interestingly, he is the only son of my father's younger brother. he is eighteen. he is on his way home from an out of town church organised youth convention aboard a van when the accident took place. while accordingly other passengers are in serious condition, he is the lone casualty.

ironically i just hosted an eighteenth"coming out" birthday party earlier this week. strangely, the motif chosen by the debutante were black and white. since it was the first time that i hosted such occasion with such colours, i insisted to have happy music to set a happy mood lest the guests may mistake the birthday party to be a funeral. majority, including me wore black. the flowers were all in white. more ironically, the news about my cousin's death was received by my eldest brother in his hospital bed, and my sister who is taking care of him sent me the sad news.

another brother immediately took a trip to the province to share the grief with my uncle and his family. i opted to stay where i am to make arrangements with the hope to be present at the funeral rites. another cousin was telling me that it is very sad beacuse elvon has to go first, at eighteen, and a very nice kid. i replied that nice or bad, rich or poor- mortals as we are, death is a sure destination we just don't know when and how. i tried to convince her that we have to be thankful because he was given eighteen years to live while some are "stillborn" or die as infants. he was a baby when his own mom passed away after a long and torturous bout with cancer. his dad, my uncle raised them as a widower and although he entertained possibilities of remarrying, he did not push through so he can focus taking care of his children. since my father has relocated, i had seen my cousins grow up very rarely. it has been eight long years since i last saw elvon on my last visit to my grandparents who were still alive then. time flies.

and the loss just sank in. a call from my brother made from his hospital bed minutes ago, worrying much about my grieving uncle despite his own concerns made me cry. and in my mind i am asking why must these tragedies happen to good people like my brother, my cousin and my uncle? i struggle to verbalise these questions.

remembering my conversations with a doctor who opted to stay in the academe, "everyone has his or her own time to leave this earth. its just a matter of when and how would this happen, mortals as we are" are source of strentgh. my college thesis turned to be my life adviser said it well-"there is nothing that we can do about it now. God took him because he has a purpose that we may not be aware as of now. you have to be at peace with God's decision."

my cousin has to go because his time was up. as humans, we look at eighteen years biologically as very short span for a lifetime. yet for someone who grew up with much love for God in his heart, elvon's life has been a full life and coming from a church activity, his sure destination is in heaven. and i reckon how painful it might have been for my uncle and his sisters and to the family- elvon has to go. as we celebrate mother's day on earth, elvon's mom who had been alone in heaven for the past seventeen years, have his only son to kiss and hug. for the baby that she left behind in this earth when she succumbed to cancer has grown up to be a fine, talented and handsome young man. he is eighteen.

elvon and aunt ellen shall dwell in the house of the Lord-forever.

i find comfort in that thought.

Earth Day

2010-04-22T02:04:00.001-07:00

Source: photobucket.com/images/earth%20day/

i am taking a moment to remember earth day and do my part. let us give back to mother earth the love that she deserves.

The Philippine Elections 2010

2010-04-18T09:09:00.000-07:00

what's happening at the Philippine politics is a rich source of case studies and arguably very interesting, if not amusing for political science students. first, a former president who was unsuccessfully impeached but was stripped of power through a "people's revolt", convicted of plunder and given clemency by his former vice president who took over as president. second, the current president, who held the top post in the country is seeking for a congressional seat which was vacated by his own son to seek a partylist representation for security guards. third, some senators are being adopted by at least a couple of political parties, making voters confused which party they are really loyal to and fifth the house speaker( who took over the former who has tried his best to make arroyo's president afloat until his own son and namesake testified about the ZTE scam) expressing his frustrations over the current administration candidate for some reasons, most notable of which for me is "not saying hi" to him prior to going to his davao city sortie, where he still need to win elections as a mayor. after being in the headline news of bolting the party, he did not push through but continued to ramble, at least enough for the media to notice.

some weeks ago, a very amusing incident on noynoy aquino's sortie in bacolod city was the talk of the town. baby james, the adorable two year old son of noynoy's celebrity sister kris upon prodding, said " hello"over the microphone, and when the crowd roared "hello" back and he blurted "veeyar" which made villar's day and took as an endorsement. these two presidentiables, aquino and villar respectively, if the surverys could be believed are occupying the first two spots in the presidential race.

as if surveys translates to votes, made noynoy very confident enough to say that all other presidentiables give up since its a toss between him (a heir of the hacienda luisita in tarlac which made generations of sugar workers landless) and villar(the poor rich guy who already spent billions for his infomercials which accordingly was his own money yet did not provide clear explanation about the C5, a government road project controversy and instead pointed out that his archrival benefited from SLEX, another road project)

what went on later was mudslinging from both camps. this went to the extent of dignifying a supposedly fake psychiatric report and bringing out the bad to worse from both sides, hitting each other "below the belt" and so on and so forth. both pinpoint at each other as arroyo's secret candidate while all this time, gilbert teodoro was staying put and assuring people that he remains the administration candidate.

i was not surprised at all when chavit singson of ilocos sur turned his back from the current administration to support nacionalista's party bearer manny villar. i did not believe nograles leaving lakas would make much impact for as teodoro puts it " he has to win the mayoralty first" . neptali gonzales II's transfer was a huge surprise but the most significant, i reckon was the administration's top economic adviser who called his boss "lucky bitch" joey salceda moving to the liberal party where his ateneo classmate was the standard bearer.

prior to cory aquino's death, i have thought that 2010 presidential elections was between gilbert teodoro and mar roxas, both of privileged upbringing and armed with education obtained from abroad, teodoro from harvard law school and roxas from the wharton school of economics. i am wondering what difference it would have made if the presidential elections was a 'battle of the minds" and not "battle of the mouths." listening to them is quite tiring and frustrating.

if the surverys are to be believed, roxas is the continuous topnotcher in the vice presidential race which is good. teodoro, on the other hand is looked upon for his qualifications and admired for not joining the mudslinging among candidates, yet surveys placed him on the continuous fourth place not necessarily because of his lackluster performance in his previous government jobs but because he is the candidate endorsed by the administration that majority of filipinos have grown to hate if the disapproving ratings are to be believed.

initially, i was rooting for richard gordon due to his achievements as a topman in subic, his lots of ideas for economic advancenet and political will. but the way gilbert teodoro is holding up these seemingly difficult days when some of his own party mates pulls him down invites reconsideration. despite of unreleased party funds if news are to be believed, he continues on his own sorties even the wife of his own kingmaker uncle campained "anybody but gibo". after all, he is the candidate next to gordon who is focused and has solid plans of what to do if elected president while the others have not clearly discussed their platform of government would be. and given the defections that he experienced the past few days, he reinvented himself as the "people's candidate" albeit belatedly, which might give him a chance for the presidency .

and yes, he has a very pretty and intelligent wife with privileged upbringing which would probably make a first lady that the filipinos can be proud of.

Elated Over Ampatuan Transfer

2010-04-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

i join the many people all over the world who are happy about the transfer of the Ampatuans. although his lawyers tried a lot of delaying tactics, the patriarch was finally at the Camp Bagong Diwa in Manila. last friday afternoon, my colleagues and me were amused by how the military stood ground in taking him from a private hospital in davao city despite various protestations from the members of his family. i was surprised to find out in the news that those who were at the neighbouring city of General Santos were also flown to Manila using the same military plane.

those who were behind this development, the court, the military authorities and all who have helped such transfer a successful activity deserves commendation whoever they are. and i join the families of those whose lives were violated one november morning, in hoping that justice that they have been seeking, would come swiftly.

Happy Easter

2010-04-04T04:37:00.000-07:00

today is a very special day for the entire Christian world being the resurrection sunday. i spent the holy week quietly watching movies that has carefully featured Jesus Christ's life on earth. happily, the ending was indeed happy, for He is risen with the promise to come again.

i am holding on to such promise. meantime, i will live my life abundantly as He has wished for all his childen. let's be happy, its easter!

Year 2010

2010-01-01T00:10:00.000-08:00

i celebrate the new year with the people that undoubtedly loves me inspite of, despite of, come what may. i am thankful for this new year which beckons new beginnings, new hopes and aspirations for the fulfillment of new dreams.

each new year brings much hope for better days ahead. the past year was not exactly best, but, it was good. i refuse to look back over past disenchantments, enjoy my present and look forward to whatever this new year brings to me and to the people i love the most. being alive each day is a great reason to celebrate.

now i have to join the family celebration, our way of welcoming the new year, 2010!

The Horror of Maguindanao Massacre

2009-11-30T21:39:00.000-08:00

"assalamualaykum", a Muslim greeting wishing someone "peace"

As a Mindanaoan, I have heard news of killing from here to there from time to time, yet the magnitude of the killings done in broad daylight as what occurred last Monday, 23th of November, three days prior to “thanksgiving day” is beyond my understanding. I am quite aware of clan wars and the reason why they happen but when women and people from the media is hurt and worse, killed in the process, my comprehension fails me. Muslim tradition, as written in all news accounts do not touch women in “rido”as they are treated like innocent children. Moreover, the presence of media supposedly neutralizes a hot situation but apparently, it did not. Nobody was spared in the convoy of 57 people on their way to file Ampatuan’s supposed challenger’s candidacy as governor in Maguindanao. I am quite familiar with the Davao City-Cotabato City route, and I did not sense any harm especially when travelling on daytime not many summers back.

Reading the news accounts on Tuesday morning has both appalled and horrified me. All throughout the whole country, people from all sectors of society are talking about the Maguindanao incident. Some argues that it is politically motivated, which may be the most apparent reason for committing such barbaric act but the root of it all is, without a doubt, the lust for power. In the succeeding days, I would proceed to the newstands to get my own copy of the major daily newspapers to find out how is it going after the very sad incident. Sad to note, the news had been covered in international papers and television channels, with updates in the net. And this occurred few days after pouring accolades on another triumph of Manny Pacquiao in the boxing arena and of Efren Penaflorida as the CNN Hero of the Year for his pushcart education advocacy. What a sad contrast.

The past few days I am lost for words. I cannot put into words the indignation and horror that I felt not necessarily because I am a Mindanaoan, a citizen of my country the Philippines but most importantly as a human being for such grave crime against humanity. Clearly, the civil, political and human rights of these people were violated, in this modern day and age . Looking at the list of the fatalities makes someone feel sick. The victims of such cruel acts that I heard of, in my lifetime are harmless women(a couple reportedly pregnant), lawyers and a parent of a female lawyer, large number from the media, and the supposedly target of the attack, the Mangudadatu’s kin. What is more sickening is the report that even those who just happened to pass by during that time were reportedly shot- all killed in broad daylight. And at this time, from yesterday’s forty six(46)the number has reached fifty seven(57). This is a huge number considering the time frame and the circumstances of such killings.

The United Nations has expressed their outrage as well as the European Union and the British and Australian governments. One of the reports notes that such killings has made this country worst than Iraq for journalists. It makes me feel sick looking at the photos flashed on my TV screen and reading about the news accounts. I do not know anyone among the dead personally but I can feel the pain as if I am a friend or a family member, pretty much like what other people all over the world feels for the victims and their families.

A lot has been written about how the clan suspected to carrying out such carnage has been very close to the current Administration and how, like majority, doubts about implementing the so called “rule of law” that they kept on saying during media interviews. I have some fears that this incident could escalate to further killings increasing the statistics from both sides or sadly even those who may unfortunately pass by. I am appalled by how the executive branch of the Philippine government is treating the “suspects”. Imagine a senior peace adviser from Malacanang going to the suspect’s residence to encourage him to surrender instead of being invited by the police for questioning. And when he finally “surrendered” the peace adviser, looked like his legal counsel and the justice secretary sounding like his defense lawyer. The “surrender” occurred few days after and not surprisingly, the suspect got a VIP treatment whether the current administration tries their best efforts in denying it and the " suspect"was not handcuffed, in contrast to the journalists caught in between the renegade and government troops in that memourable Manila Peninsula Hotel siege.

Yet I cannot stop wondering how the victims’ families are coping with their sudden loss as a result of this act of savagery. And as I join the community of those expressing outrage about such carnage and at the same time sympathising with the survivors of the victims and seeking justice for the fifty seven(57) who died as a result of this monsterous act, I kept on wondering- when will the other suspects surrender or at least be arrested for such brutal killings?

Not many years back, I did an essay on failed state for my "Global Politics" course in Political Science Down Under. I looked at certain countries as case studies and as I remember the points that I took in arguing why a "failed state" should be called as such, I fear that the Philippines is in the brink of such state.

Typhoon Ondoy/Ketsana in the Philippines

2009-10-02T00:56:00.001-07:00

after all has been said and done, i reckon that nature has taken its course. careless acts of irresponsible humans, indiscriminate cutting of trees in the forested areas and throwing away of solid waste has came back to affect humans. this sadly resulted to sudden surge of water on that memourable day of 26th septemberresulting to loss of properties and lives and caused trauma to the survivors. as the time of noah, the flood has become the great leveller of all in the philippines, specifically in the national capital region.

and i wonder how the evacuees will survive their sad conditions and those who had been pained by sudden loss of loved ones and properties too.

it carefully reminds us that nothing is permanent in this earth of ours so let us try our best to live to the fullest, one day at a time.

after surviving ondoy, i am taking a long break to bond with my loved ones who were very much worried about me on the eve of the typhoon ondoy.

The Superferry 9 Tragedy

2009-09-08T01:08:00.000-07:00

the deep blue sea on a calm day, by orange tulip

early this month i was flirting with the idea of going to cebu unannounced, by taking the boat as i have reluctantly done four years back, for the love of a friend who is like a mother to me, but due to my unforgetable experince with the sulpicio's "princess of the universe" i was contemplating to take the arguably better shipping line and take any superferry vessel that goes to cebu.

ill-fated "princess of the stars" sank at the height of the typhoon "frank" in june of last year. i was thinking that the worse typhoons have passed through this country and i am looking forward to taking pictures of sunset in the middle of the sea, alone, undisturbed. i was even thinking of waking up very early the next morning for a sunrise photo. i have a long time friend whom i met at the mall in cebu city the last time i went there by boat and flew back to manila by plane and im wondering how he looks like four years after.

all was almost set, i have scheduled my weekend get way to be the third week of september and i am short of buying the ticket which i heard is on promo thus, i can probably get good deals both in the shipping and the airline.

yesterday's headline was a huge surprise and its just a year and two months after the "princess of the stars" sank and a couple of weeks when the documentary about the "m/v dona paz" with more than four thousand lives lost was shown on television. i was content reading the news online but this time i grabbed newspapers and read and reread the news accounts, and today that of the survivors.

in sharp contrast to the "princess of the stars" where help was practically nil during their most difficult time, despite of the lives lost and the trauma that happened to the passengers of "superferry 9" i am quite content on how the passengers were treated, and the crew were reportedly the last to abandon the ship. aboitiz shipping was swift to release its statement and in some way, the rescued passengers were taken cared of. although its quite sad to hear that the death toll was 9, compared to close to 900 lost lives in the "princess of the star" last year. accordingly, distress call was five hours prior to the sinking of the ship and rescue was quite soon thus, having a huge number of survivors.

it is quite disturbing to read today's newspaper accounts from passengers that there was not enough life saver, reminiscent of the "titanic" minus the icebergs. and there was only nine hundred passengers on board! how come that there were no sufficient life savers? if this is true then its a very sad news about the arguably best shipping company in this country.

some passenger accounts say there was a loud thud from the cargo prior to its tilting to one side. there were other possible reasons and it is imperative, i reckon that the authorities would "get to the bottom of this".

i have also read that an inquiry has been formed, which is habitually done everytime a ship has sank. today i have read that all the ships of the aboitiz has been "grounded" although those in the middle voyage was allowed to continue to their travel to manila which is just logical. and i am wondering what happened to the results of the inquiries from the past sinking of the ships by shipping authorities.

were there any review or revision of maritime policies? did these inquiries found any policy gaps and learned something and try to resolved them and in all efforts, "ill-fated sinking" of ships would not happen again and the lives lost would not turn to mere statistics.

more than a year ago, i have argued that the sinking was not an "act of God"http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/greed-and-princess-of-stars-tragedy.html. i am now a busy person who cannot spend time arguing that this latest sinking, that of "superferry 9" is an "act of man" but i will definitely wait for the results of the "inquiry".

meantime, i have cancelled my plans of riding a passenger boat to cebu, palawan or even iloilo and general santos city. i will be content to watch the clouds via my favourite airline, the next time i decide to embark on a journey and can afford to do so.

Farewell Tita Cory

2009-08-04T00:13:00.000-07:00

an statement of thanks, statement of love

braving the long queue, for the love of Tita Cory

yellow flag in front of the Manila Cathedral

headline news

last Saturday, i woke up to the sad news that the nation's "icon of democracy" has passed away on the first day of August. i joined the nation in mourning for her passage on earth by watching the television specials about her. my own grandmother died of complications arising from her colon cancer many years back so i am aware how painful this disease could be. it is remarkable that despite the pain that her illness has brought Cory, she according to her children, did not complain.

what struck me among many comments about Cory and Ninoy's death was- both has united the nation. according to a former cabinet member Vicente Paterno in one of the news accounts, although it was hatred of a conjugal dictatorship that drove the Filipinos together, many years later it was because of love for the former president Corazon Cojuangco Aquino, fondly called Tita Cory.

some friends went in the early morning of Sunday(2 AM) at the La Salle Greenhills gym so they are no longer keen in accompaying me today. this morning, i braved the long queue to have a last glimpse of Tita Cory at the Manila Cathedral. although i have followed most of the live coverages since Saturday, nothing compares to the experience of going to do my share of thanking Cory for what she has done for the country. it took me a couple of hours and a half of travel time to the cathedral, an hour of lining up for public viewing and few seconds to be inside the cathedral to catch a glimpse of Tita Cory before noon, but i will cherish this experience forever.

there are a lot of things i admire about Tita Cory, but foremost is her unwavering faith in God even in times of persecution, sufferings, illness and pain. in sickness she has united the Filipino people in prayer.in death she united her countrymen like how her husband Ninoy did 26 years ago. political and social differences were set aside as thousands or perhaps millions converged to pay their last respects to her and express condolences to her surviving family and children.

ss a wife and mother, becoming a president of the country and back to becoming a private citizen, her deep faith was clearly manifested at all times. prayer has always been her source of strength, courage and determination in trying to probably live her life to the fullest, despite the seemingly insurmountable odds in her lifetime. her life showed that money and power is not enough to have a meaningful life but having a God and recognizing His Supreme power above all.

outpouring of much love for her was expressed by braving the heat of the sun and even the heavy rains to queue for a number of hours to be able to have a few seconds glimpse, say thanks or say a prayer to a former president lovingly called 'Tita Cory".

i join the blogging community in expressing my admiration for her quiet grace and the courage to face death. but it did not stop there.

wearing a yellow ribbon i went to Manila Cathedral as my own expression of love- for love of Cory, for democracy that she has restored and for love of this country.

farewell Tita Cory. thank you for the inspiration that you have given the entire country and probably the world, and to me.

Blogging Break

2009-04-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

my journey goes on

after focusing much on my physical well-being, i reckon that i am most productive and probably the happiest when i am very busy juggling my studies, job, personal and social life, like what i did few years back.

i will be back to blogging as soon as i have written my thesis proposal for the possibility of postgraduate studies overseas, with the hope of learning other things along the way on top of the so called "intellectual pursuit".

meantime, happy easter!

Nicole Recants and Goes to the US

2009-03-18T09:53:00.000-07:00

a hibiscus flower covers a naked statue in a Zamboanga hotel

i was among those who were doubtful about this woman called " Nicole" on her claim of rape against that not bad looking Smith. when discussions arose, i would be the 1 out of 5 or a couple of us out of 7 casting doubts about Nicole's story. well of course i got sneers specially from those who were feminists or women activists when i raise my questions like 1) why would she be extra friendly with Smith and his friends when she went to the club through an invitation of a certain guy, her friend named Chris? 2) if she did not like nor quite attracted to Daniel Smith, why should she drink with him and his friends, dance with him and did not mind being left behind unaccompanied at all when her companion friend went ahead of her? 3) can rape occur in the company of Smith's friends at the back of the van while being driven? and 4) can a supposedly rapist who was supposed to be randy at the time, be careful enough about his protection and somehow still conscious of the repercussions of such acts by taking time to use a condom?

i was fortunate enough to have some lawyer friends( the most influential was my former boss, a VP in the top corporation in the country who turned lawyer given his advanced age, taking the bar exams once) kind enough to explain to me that Smith was convicted, due to circumstancial evidences. i stopped asking questions for some time and kept quiet when discussions about this supposedly rape case topic arose. at one point i was convinced that probably, Smith was guilty beyond reasonable doubt.

"it was consensual sex" - that was according to Smith and his friends and that was what they insisted during the much hyped and melodramatic litigation which took a year or so, an exceptional feat considering the country's justice system. of course this case is highly exceptional- that is, it has involved an American serviceman (who was in the Philippines as a for the Visiting Forces Agreement, VFA) and a probably pretty yet ordinary Filipina who at the time of the so called "rape" had an American boyfriend and as stated in the 11th statement of her affidavit had an "American dream"(part of her statement said " I was scared of losing not only my American boyfriend but the chance of living in the United States).

but the activists, particularly the feminists, the politicians who had something to say "every step of the way" and media hype have helped a lot until the so called justice was served. Judge Pozon issued the guilty verdict to the delight of the majority who cared and perhaps sympathised with " Nicole" for the triumph of justice at that time. Smith was subsequently incarcerated in the Makati City jail but was taken shortly at midnight to dawn to the US embassy- clearly a US territory even if geographically it is within the Philippine soils. this has raised a lot of concern from all sectors but nevertheless, Smith, although supposedly did a crime against the Filipino people, to a Filipina named " Nicole" is " serving his prison terms" in the US embassy. at the back of my mind i was wondering, if the three companions of Smith were acquitted, how come that Smith was given the verdict " guilty without reasonable doubt?" of course answers would point out to a lot of what the lawyers called " circumstancial evidence" and being a non-lawyer, i stopped wondering and made myself busy with other concerns and became aware of other issues.

few weeks back, the Supreme Court has ordered that Smith should be taken by the Philippine government and few days after such headline came the report that the Philippines was not in a hurry to take Smith to their custody. surprisingly, it was the lawyer of " Nicole" who has given her reactions to this and the so called "victim" of Smith's crime of rape and her family were unusually quiet.

today's headline had seemingly answered it all. Nicole recanting her testimony, casting doubts about her own person, mentioning how she has treated the US army servicemen in general like " her family" while growing up in Zamboanga City and her mother doing the catering in the military base canteen. i do not intend to demean "Nicole" about her personal decision, "to bury the hatchet" and leave her country and go- to all places " United States", because probably she had nothing left to start all over again. there was no report how she has been, or if she at all was given assistance, a job maybe( she's reportedly a graduate from Ateneo de Davao) to go on living a "normal life" for supposedly rape victims like her. or probably it was her choice to live a life as quietly as it can be. perhaps she succeeded in doing so and then the sudden boomerang- she recants and flies to US- for good.

" she has nothing to lose and everything to gain" says Remonde of the Malacanang palace, as reported both in the Philippine Daily Inquirer and Philippine Star, my favourite broadsheets in the country but somehow, depending on how someone looks at it either as a win or loss, and considering its moral, judicial, legal and probably its effects to the Philippines' foreign policy specifically on the very touch issue of the VFA, i reckon- her actions has brought some implications to Filipinas and probably the entire nation:

first, money the meager 100,000 pesos, around $2,000(at least that's what is reported) has probably made her change her mind because she does not have any chance at all in the Philippines. she comes from an ordinary family who probably sees that going to the US as she had wished expressed in her affidavit of recantation, is probably a solution to one's confusion or hardship in the Philippines.

second, the efforts of her lawyers, most of all Atty. Ursua were disregarded when she made her personal decision to quit her "fight". before her recantation, she served or at least that's what the media tried to portray, as the "epitome of a brave Filipina." lawyers would insist that the crime was against the Filipino people and not only to Nicole as a person( Atty. Ursua, her lawyer said that rape is a public crime and the family's personal decision regarding the case should be immaterial) but arguably, her recantation has given a major setback on the case. it is interesting to note here that Judge Pozon, who issued the guilty verdict argued that the recantation of Nicole will not necessarily lead to the acquittal of her convicted rapist.

third, it has tremendously affected how "others" look at the " Filipina". and when i say others its not only by citizens of the countries outside the Philippines, but by the Filipinos themselves.arguably, some Filipinas had probably seen marrying foreigners as the escape to poverty or the ticket to a better life. and in this country where possibilities and chances for a better life at your own efforts to succeed socioeconomically, even armed with a good education are small, they are always thrilled at the thought of having foreigners as a " knight in shining armour" or a "prince" saving them from their current situation to the possibility of having a " better life" even only in terms of financial aspects. almost three years ago, immediately after my overseas studies, i took a cab from a hotel to a mall in cebu city. since the weather in the Philippines is usually warm, in my usual mini skirt, tops and thongs(that's how we call the flip flops where i just came from), to meet a friend based in cebu. the cab driver told me " oh that's where lots of beautiful ladies go with the hope of getting noticed by foreigners looking for future " partners"- i am sure you'll get noticed". i did not ask him to qualify or define what sort of "partner" he was trying to refer and i simply retorted - "oh, i am just meeting a long time friend who opted to relocate in this city". i am not sure and i did not care if i convinced him with my answer but his remarks stayed in my thoughts in the next few days.i found it funny and serious altogether. another cab incident was when i was requested by a handicapped friend to bring an invitation for an an art exhibit opening a couple of years ago to the hotel where lots of foreigners stay, in roxas boulevard in manila. it was a warm summer day and i was in a spaghetti strap tops and flip flops. the cab driver, whom i hailed from the makati business district- on our way to the hotel brazenly asked me, " is it good there?" and i retorted "what do you mean? " you know, the pay of the residents for a night stay?". i told him that i am just dropping by to hand an invitation to an art exhibit personally- with all the composure remaining to me but i am quite unsure he believed me. true enough, i got the disturbing and naughty glances from the men assigned in the reception area when i asked for assistance to go to a room of their resident/guest. i almost snapped due to my experience with the cab driver but when i used a different twang speaking a foreign language all throughout, i was given the respect that i deserved. but the most unforgetable of all was the account of a beautiful Filipina sent by her parents to study overseas to learn a lot about living independently. she was taking a ride from work(she worked part- time while studying, which is usual to overseas students) in a tram(the mode of public transport in addition to the bus and train) when suddenly, the guy asked her if she is a Filipina and when she said "yes", she was asked if she wants to marry him(a total stranger!) we discovered, although we are quite unsure( we were busy attending to our studies and not to these gossips- alright) it turned out that in that city, there were talks spreading that many Filipinas, sad to note, seek a tourist visa, stay there as " tourists" while trying to find a "husband". of course this beautiful friend declined the what i call "indecent proposal" and informed the guy that she was there on a student visa but the horror of being treated that way, simply because of her nationality stayed for some time. we have laughed at it several times while i relate my own stories but then again- beyond the funny aspect of it all, it is a serious matter.

it is really saddening, but it would be unfair to judge Filipinas like Nicole who, in the hopes of better life ahead, arguably do not put much value on their dignity as a person or as Filipina(Inquirer Research quoted her as saying "they(rapists) destroyed my dignity and violated me as a person. now i am again wondering if this melodramatic yet sounding very broken dialogue was due to a very smart coaching. and i am thinking- does it all boil down to money and " better opportunities" or " better future?" i have no objection whatsoever to Filipinas, or Asians for that matter marrying foreigners(as how Filipinas view Caucasians, Europeans and even fellow Asians, even the coloured people) as they are quite a feast on the eyes( not necessarily because they are all good looking but mostly because they look different) , and could probably be great lovers, but i wish that they undergo the normal circumstances of getting to know each other, probably falling in love, and agreeing to build a future together. after all, regardless of who the person or where he or she came from, red, yellow, olive, white or black skinned -everybody deserves to be happy.

blogger further sayeth naught.

Submitting to His Will

2009-03-06T02:21:00.000-08:00

this photo was from Francis Magalona's last blog entry in multiply

"To His will I submit myself."

http://francismagalona.multiply.com/journal/item/338/4th_Chemo_Cycle

earlier today, news about the popular Filipino rapper Francis Magalona's passing away has reached me. a naughty friend, who came over to bring me the news told me in jest that he is right in enjoying his life to the fullest, loving as many girls as he can and that he is encouraging his other male friends to do so. i have always argued with him about his principles and values in life yet i never imposed mine too. this time however, i only smiled at his statement about his definition of living his life to the fullest and focused our conversation on Francis' passing away.

Francis succumbed to cancer at 44 leaving his young family behind. i remember how positive and enthusiastic francis was the last time i read a newspaper article( entertainment section) about him- around late last year.

my brothers have always liked his rap singing talent and song writing prowess(most interesting was "Mga Kababayan Ko(To My Countrymen)" and i always liked his boyish looks and charming smiles. few minutes before writing this blog, i tried to find some news about him in the net and a GMA article( a television network in the country which he is one of the talents) was helpful. it goes like this:

Magalona's last blog entry requests for prayers

MANILA, Philippines - Francis Magalona's last blog entry in Multiply was dated Jan. 14, 2009. He related about his fourth chemotherapy session, and asked for a simple favor from his fans and supporters. See his complete post below:

Good evening, people. I am getting prepared for my 4th Chemotherapy cycle, and I will be admitted tonight at The Medical City. I will be doing some tests tomorrow, wish me luck. Friday I begin my 4th cycle, which is a Hi-Dose kind, as will be taking 6 grams of CytarabinTM a day every other day for 3 days.

(According to webmd.com, Cytarabine is given intravenously. Sometimes it is given as a shot under the skin or directly into the spinal fluid. It can be given in a low, average, or high dose. Cytarabine is classified as an antimetabolite. It kills cancer cells by interfering with the way they multiply. Cytarabine is used to treat acute myelogenous leukemia [AML] and acute lymphoblastic leukemia. It is sometimes used to treat non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and some types of brain tumors.)

I will be at the 14th floor of the TMC, as usual. I brought a lot reading materials (bible included!) and DVDs to keep me company while I do my treatment. I will be doing my radiation treatment by February and my PBSCT (Peripheral Blood Stem Cell Transplant) will be done by March.I look forward to the pain as I know my journey is on full speed ahead. I will not be bold to say that without asking a favor from you all. PLEASE PRAY for me as I undergo treatment. Your prayers, as always, have sustained me. And am sure the Lord will listen to all our prayers. To His will I submit myself.

God bless you, my friend.

PS: I will be needing blood donors for blood and platelets. Please go to the lower ground floor of The Medical City and donate blood in my name. For platelets Apheresis you may go have yourself screened at the Phil. Nat'l Red Cross at the Pier in Manila. I am type O positive. Thank you again.

Source: http://www.gmanews.tv/story/151661/Francis-Magalonas-last-blog-entry-requests-for-prayers

i tried having a look at Francis' blog too, particularly his last blog entry prior to his hospitalisation. i saw his entry and the photo where with his contagious smile. i copied the picture that he himself probably posted and to the end, he has been very positive. perhaps physical pain brought by a type of leukemia that afflicted him has taught him a lot in this life. it was indeed a "happy battle" and i will always remember and probably millions will remember too- the last line in his blog that immensely struck me. "To His Will I submit myself."

now how many of us, either healthy or sick-can bravely say that?

How Do I Love Thee?

2009-02-14T00:18:00.000-08:00

a pre-valentine artwork

V- day "freedom wall"

this poem, "How Do I Love Thee" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning is my favourite poem of all time, immediately next to "Desiderata" . according to my web sources, "It formed part of the Elizabeth Barrett Browning's "Sonnets from the Portuguese", written in her Italian days at the Casa Guidi. It is addressed to her husband, who used to call her 'My little Portuguese" as she was dark.

and since today is valentine's day i find this poem most fitting to be posted in my blog along with pre-valentine photos that i took a day before.

How do I love thee?

-- Elizabeth Barrett Browning

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

how do i love thee? i cannot count the ways...

If You Forget Me

2009-02-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

a shore where there is peace and quiet...

a couple of weeks ago, a friend lent me her collection on poetry and i instantly liked " If You Forget Me" by Pablo Neruda (http://nobelprize.org/nobel_prizes/literature/laureates/1971/neruda-bio.html.) more interesting is the translation, or where it was translated from which is immediately below:

If You Forget Me

- Pablo Neruda

I want you to know

one thing.

You know how this is:

if I lookat the crystal moon,

at the red branch

of the slow autumn at my window,

if I touch

near the fire

the impalpable ash

or the wrinkled body of the log,

everything carries me to you,

as if everything that exists:

aromas, light, metals,were little boats that sail

toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,

if little by little you stop loving me

I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly

you forget me

do not look for me,

for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,

the wind of banners

that passes through my life,

and you decide

to leave me at the shore

of the heart where I have roots,

remember that on that day,

at that hour,

I shall lift my arms

and my roots will set off

to seek another land.

But

if each day,

each hour,

you feel that you are destined for me

with implacable sweetness,

if each day a flower

climbs up to your lips to seek me,

ah my love, ah my own,

in me all that fire is repeated,

in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,

my love feeds on your love, beloved,

and as long as you live it will be in your arms

without leaving mine.

Si Tu Me Olvidas

-Source:http://www.links2love.com/poetry_7.htm

Quiero que sepas

una cosa.

T� sabes c�mo es esto:

si miro

la luna de cristal, la rama roja

del lento oto�o en mi ventana,

si toco

junto al fuegola impalpable ceniza

o el arrugado cuerpo de la le�a,

todo me lleva a ti,

como si todo lo que existe:

aromas, luz, metales,

fueran peque�os barcos que navegan

hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,

si poco a poco dejas de quererme

dejar� de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto

me olvidas

no me busques,

que ya te habr� olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco

el viento de banderas

que pasa por mi vida

y te decides

a dejarme a la orilla

del coraz�n en que tengo ra�ces,

piensa

que en esa d�a,

a esa hora

levantar� los brazos

y saldr�n mis ra�ces

a buscar otra tierra.

Pero

si cada d�a,

cada hora,

sientes que a m� est�s destinada

con dulzura implacable,

si cada d�a sube

una flor a tus labios a buscarme,

ay amor m�o, ay m�a,

en m� todo ese fuego se repite,

en m� nada se apaga ni se olvida,

mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,

y mientras vivas estar� en tus brazos

sin salir de los m�os.

Bushfire in Australia

2009-02-09T00:30:00.000-08:00

"bushfire", photo taken from the news report

http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5307913/vic-bushfires-death-toll-107-police/

i was hoping to watch the movie "Australia" starring the Aussies Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman and probably enjoy the sight of the "outback" and kangaroo in the cinema during the weekend but my health concerns required me to stay home instead. so i just relaxed and wished that i would be able to join crowds, go to the mall, and hope that i can watch the movie soon.

earlier, it's my mom's turn to see her doctor after her most recent hospitalisation and i had the chance to surf the net no matter how challenging could it be. i wanted to try opening my email account, which might work out this time, but my attention was turned to the news headlines and i found it terribly devastating to read about the tremendous loss of lives, and properties in my dear state of Victorian where its people have been kind and friendly. while it has been cold winters on other parts of the world, its summer down under and i heard that temperature rose to 46 degrees Celcius in Melbourne (when 40 degrees Celcius in Sydney has been extremely warm enough when i celebrated the new year's day with Sydney based friends not too long ago).

accordingly, the official toll rose to 131 according to the police and part of the report says: "The death toll surpasses that from the 1983 Ash Wednesday bushfires, in which 75 people died in Victoria and South Australia , and the Black Friday bushfires of 1939, which killed 71." (http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5307913/vic-bushfires-death-toll-107-police/, http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5306498/25-killed-victorian-bushfires/, http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/latest/5308391/rescuers-brace-bushfire-horror/)

part of the reports said:"By 8.30pm (AEDT), at least 750 homes had been destroyed, more than 330,000 hectares burnt out - 220,000 ha alone in the Kinglake Complex wildfire - while authorities said some fires could take weeks to contain.

sometime ago, i did a case study about these bushfires on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, but the things i learned from lots of readings in relation to bushfires has not really prepared me to deal with this current bushfire, i felt very sad. while my heart goes to the Aussies affected by this tragic incident, i wish that the devastation would be contained and would end sooner than expected.

in addition to prayers, Victorian victims also needs material help- badly. i have seen this attachment in the news report, although Australian Competition and Consumer Commission (ACCC) has warned about possible fraud in receiving donations, i hope that this is the legitimate link as provided in the news report :

[Victorian Bushfire Appeal: http://au.news.yahoo.com/a/-/newshome/5307609/victorian-bushfire-appeal how to donate]

Year 3

2009-02-06T00:00:00.000-08:00

Sunday Market at St Kilda

today is the third year since i left my apartment close to St Kilda Beach for other pursuits. earlier today, i realised i have been missing my walks in this lovely place. prior to flying back home in the evening of february three years ago, i made a my final walk with my flatmate and we took these photos. i also did my silent farewell to this place who has been a witness to my greatest joys and pains.

i am now at home, quite content- but somehow i still miss St Kilda, i miss the uni, i miss Melbourne and i miss Australia. and so are the people and friends whom i shared my laughs and tears with. and i hope i can visit and perhaps stay- soon.

Watching boats at St Kilda Beach

Flowers and Weeds

2009-02-04T00:19:00.000-08:00

prettiest in pink

It is not enough for a gardener to love flowers; he must also hate weeds
-American Proverb

Australian Open 2009

2009-02-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

this photo was taken from today's most popular article "Dealing with the hurt" written by Eleanor Preston, http://www.australianopen.com/en_AU/news/articles/2009-02-01/200902011233413443968.html

Rafael Nadal of Spain falls to the ground after winning championship point in his men's final match against Roger Federer of Switzerland during day fourteen.
Photo by: Getty Images

photos were uploaded from the Official Australian Open Website, http://www.australianopen.com/en_AU/index.html

the last time i watched Federer in Melbourne was when he won the Australian Open Championship in 2006 over Marcos Baghdatis- he wept in triumph. this time, i missed watching the Oz Open games even in TV as i was too busy worrying about other matters-my health and my mom's latest hospitalisation included. few minutes ago(after finding out that my mom is feeling better although still in the hospital, i wondered what came up of the Oz Open championship and the big fan of Federer i am, i took time to have a look at the website http://www.australianopen.com/en_AU/index.html .

i was expectant that Federer made it, and probably would make the record as what Pete Sampras did- or perhaps even more. on the contrary it was Nadal who is proclaimed as" the new king". i felt bad for Federer and i was so touched while reading today's most popular article by Eleanor Preston " Dealing with the hurt" (http://www.australianopen.com/en_AU/news/articles/2009-02-01/200902011233413443968.html?promo=hp_toparticles). somehow, like any common mortals dealing with their own losses, he has to deal with the pain of a loss. and somehow, a fresh face on Oz Open( i was thinking it would be a match between Marat Safin and Roger Federer the second time around like they did in 2005) Rafael Nadal would be this year's champion no matter how hard Roger tried to win.

i first saw this Spanish tennis player playing "doubles" in one of the smaller courts in Melbourne five years ago- the same time that i watched how Roger Federer defeated my first love in tennis- Andre Agassi. my Mummy Hen, who practically grew up playing tennis( and was the instant tennis instructor explaining how the scores are gained all throughout the games) must be really good in looking how tennis is excellently played or is pretty much talented in identifying who are the outstanding players or who could be future champions. five years ago, Mummy Hen insisted that we would sit and watch the then not very popular(at least to me) Rafael Nadal. at the time, i was more excited and thrilled finding out which court would (the pretty boy American tennis champion) Andy Roddick play.

five years after watching Nadal play tennis in that smaller court( i can't even remember what court it must have been), he defeated Federer who defeated then the reigning Oz Open king Agassi.

i became unhappy watching the picture of Roger's loss but i turned gleeful watching the picture and reading about Rafael's win. i can still hope that Roger will get the championship trophy again in the next year's open but for now, its Rafael's turn to reign.

and somehow i feel bad as i miss watching Australian Open in Melbourne, i missed watching it on television, and more importantly, i miss Melbourne and the friends i watched Oz open with.

Chinese New Year

2009-01-28T03:04:00.001-08:00

opening of the Chinatown

watching the celebration of Chinese New Year

watching after sunset in Davao City's Magsaysay Park

i was hoping to catch a glimpse at the sunset in Magsaysay Park in Davao City and delight myself in eating durian while watching the sunset but i arrived few minutes late- missing the sunset. i just wondered when would i have the luxury of time to do this again as i am up for other concerns.

yet i was delighted to see the opening of the Chinese New Year celebrations. and i joined the crowd as they enjoyed the opening of their own " China Town" by looking out and trying to sample the dishes in the food booths. i ended up finishing a big apple bought from one of the fruit vendors which made me happier. what a fun way to celebrate Kung Hei Fat Choi!

The Prayer, My Prayer

2009-01-26T23:27:00.000-08:00

pretty flowers outside the chapel where "The Prayer" was performed

The Prayer

Performers: Andrea Bocelli, Celine Dion

Composers: David Foster, Carole Bayer Sager

I pray You’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go,

and help us to be wise, in times when we don’t know.

Let this be our prayer when we lose our way:

Lead us to a place, Guide us with Your grace

To a place where we’ll be safe.

La luce che Tu dai (The light that You give us)

I pray we’ll find Your light

Nel cuore resterà (will stay in our hearts)

And hold it in our hearts A ricordarci che (reminding us that…)

When stars go out each night

L’eterna stella sei (You are the everlasting star).

Nella mia preghiera (In my prayer).

Let this be our prayer

Quanta fede c’è (there’s so much faith)

When shadows fill our day:

Lead us to a place,

Guide us with Your grace,

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.

Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza (We dream [of] a world without more violence)

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza (A world of justice and of hope).

Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino (Everyone give your hand to your neighbor),

Simbolo di pace e di fraternità (Symbol of peace and brotherhood)

La forza che ci dai (The strength You give us)

We ask that life be kind

È il desiderio che (is the wish that)

And watch us from above.

Ognuno trovi amore (everyone may find love)

We hope each soul will find

Intorno e dentro a sè (around and within himself)

Another soul to love.

Let this be our prayer (Let this be our prayer)

Just like every child (Just like every child)

Needs to find a place:

Guide us with your grace

Give us faith so we’ll be safe.

E la fede che (And the faith that)

Hai acceso in noi (You have lit inside us)

Sento che ci salverà (I believe will save us).

Source: http://www.mp3lyrics.org/c/celine-dion/the-prayer/

A young bride asked me to sing "The Prayer" on her wedding day in middle of January. It was not easy for me though and being away from huge celebrations for a couple of years, I was quite apprehensive if I can still make it. Unable to find someone to sing the male part(it was supposed to be a duet), I travelled few extra miles to ask my dad, who never failed granting my wishes, and he readily said "yes". I showed him Celine Dion's album, "These are Special Times" a night before the wedding and the singer that he has been in his own right, was able to pick up Andrea Bocelli's part quickly. Early morning, we rehearsed together to my mom's delight and off we went to the chapel where the ceremony would take place. Unable to sing as often as I did in the past, I was a little nervous when I started the first two lines of the song. Yet I loosened up and I smiled confidently when people staying outside the much- filled tiny village chapel, tried their best to have a peek-with much excitement and anticipation in their eyes. Some procceded inside and tried to find their own place inside the chapel when the male part of the song was performed.

After the wedding ceremony, the church organiser told me that this song " The Prayer" was sung for the first time in this chapel, she loved it and asked a copy. After my singing part, I took photos in that memourable occasion and the song, which has always awed me, has become more meaningful since then- due to the following reasons:

First, my mom was very happy and proud as she sat in the pews watching me singing with my Dad for the first time( he always sang with my mom in special and not so special occasions when i was growing up and still living with them along with my siblings). Second, I disregarded any advice of possible allergenic reactions as I wanted to have my hair coloured the way I want it- a thing I have not been allowed to do the past couple of years. I still have to see any reaction whatsoever but being away from big events for quite a while, the new hair colour( i always change my hairstyle every six months in the past), gave me a "lift. Being quite vain sometimes, I can't stop smiling everytime I look at my reflection in the mirror.

Third, the wedding took place in one of the towns of North Cotabato which was much part of the news of MILF rampage in August of last year. Having been to Zamboanga provinces and passing by Lanao del Sur and del Norte provinces on my way yo Iligan and Cagayan de Oro around a couple of years back, I am much comfortable in this place even if in the recent months, it got national attention due to news of bombings, or foiled bombing attempts. I dropped by the place a week before the wedding and while walking on the highway one sunny afternoon, I saw how thrilled the locals were(I was trying to buy for a bread and a drink at a bake shoppe but the attendant's attention was somewhere else- at the sight of a couple of dashing American soldiers, probably just passing by or doing their own surveillance as a part of their agreed joint effort with the Philippine government(I gathered from a fruit vendor that the sight of Filipino troopers are no longer extraordinary) to achieve or maintain peace in the south. I had a quick glance at the American soldiers who remained oblivious at the attention they were getting from the crowd,and I continued my" discovery" walk. There was an urge for me to take photos but I decided not to -to minimise some sort of attention and be mistaken as a "tourist" or "journalist" and did my unobtrusive observations of what has been going in the town. It was a memourable yet fun walk.

Fourth, the song made to remember and value the lives lost in the battlefields of Mindanao, from the government and rebel forces, including that of the civilians' lives disturbed, dislocated or lost in the process of seeking "peace".

Finally, it pierces my heart remembering what has been going on in Gaza Strip(as of the moment there was a ceasefire) and other parts of the world. "The Prayer", has itself became "My Prayer" noting these words:

Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza (We dream [of] a world without more violence)

Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza (A world of justice and of hope).

Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino (Everyone give your hand to your neighbor),

Simbolo di pace e di fraternità (Symbol of peace and brotherhood)

And I pray that my prayer and all the prayers of others out there will find some answers somehow, some time. Perhaps soon?

Life in the Country Side

2008-12-30T00:18:00.000-08:00

Hibiscus flower by the road

"an Amorsolo setting, a rice farm"

"banana trees close to a flowering plant along the rice fields"

"the nipa hut, close to the rice fields"

"the road i travelled"

all photos were taken by orange tulip in her latest exploration

i was able to visit a small farm somewhere in the countryside of Cotabato and the experience continues to thrill me up to this moment.last night i took a bath close to the half-century old trees with fireflies, under a few stars lighting up a dark sky. i relished sleeping with the windows open with the night and early morning breeze lightly touching my face. i had a great sleep and was late for breakfast of fresh fruits especially picked for me earlier this morning.

i sought a company of a little girl and had a brief walk outside the farm, in a small road nearby. i did not mind even if this girl keeps on telling me that almost everybody keeps staring at me. i simply told her they do not know me that's why. she argued i am gorgeous that's why. i told her i just look a little different and stopping briefly along the way, took these photos.

it has been a while since i had not seen a nipa hut, then the common shelter for Filipinos which was of course changed to what they think as better houses well because they are made of stone and cement and the commercial house construction materials. i still wish i can sleep in one of the nipa huts close to the farm and relish the pure joy of simple living.

what i found really remarkable is that, amidst the news of recent bombing in Iligan City(Lanao de Norte, a charming city i was able to drop by in June of last year on our way to Cagayan de Oro from Zamboanga) this small village with a combined population of Muslims and Christians are seemingly living their lives normally. i am glad to see farmers and other people planting rice in a farm nearby, the men bringing some farm harvests to the market and the women and chidren helping each other in their daily activities. in particular, i saw a Muslim woman and her child preparing for what seemed to be something to be used in their rice farm. they looked so content doing the chore together, and even though i wanted to introduce myself and start a brief chat with the mother and his little boy, i became content watching them from afar. it was a sight exactly opposite of how troubled Mindanao has been, with scared children and women running as seen in television and newspaper reports about five months ago. in contrast, what i saw this morning was-a lovely sight to behold. how i wish i can linger for a few minutes more, but the little girl accompanying me on my walk has decided to go ahead, so i have to catch up with her pace.

and i wish that the sight i saw will continue. and i wish peace both in the hearts of these villagers and in their village and all other troubled villages not only in Cotabato but in the neighbouring provinces and the entire Mindanao.

and i wish that it would not be too much- for me to be wishing for peace in the Philippines, India, troubled parts of Asia, Middle East and the rest of the world.

Christmas Trees and Artworks

2008-12-29T19:18:00.000-08:00

these photos were taken while these Christmas trees and artworks were on exhibit at
"The Block" SM North in Quezon City, Philippines.accordingly, these were created by various artists, across ages.

i wish i was able to express my appreciation to their works personally. the works are all beautiful.indeed, they all are!

Nativity Scene

2008-12-28T21:03:00.000-08:00

Christ, the Son of God, born in humble circumstances

the Shepherds, and Three Wise Men giving homage the King of Kings

For unto us a Child is born, unto us a Son is given. And His name, shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father Prince of Peace
- from the Song For Unto Us a Child is Born
(Handel's Messiah)

for the past couple of years, i had this penchant for visiting and taking photos of the Christmas tree as they come in various shapes, sizes, colours. for this year however,i had a huge interest in visiting various locations where the nativity, a reenactment of Christ's birth on earth is being done. of course the most interesting aspect of it is the baby Jesus born of the Virgin Mary.yet somehow, it gives me much excitement to note that the Three Wise Men travelled from afar, with the exceptionally beautiful star as a guide. they brought precious gifts and more detalis about the Christmas story is told in the bible, in books and in Christmas carols.

many years after, Christmas is filled with lots of lavish gatherings, festivities and merrymaking. moreover, the gift giving is also practiced and it brings joy both to those who give and receive gifts.

and in this world where recession has loomed as a result of the Wall Street collapse, and the gasoline nosediving to around $34 per barrel from around $9o less than five months ago, it is still heartwarming to remember that the real reason for the season is Christ's birth in a humble manger in Bethlehem, a couple of thousand years ago, bringing love and hope to mankind.

this is the reason why amidst the turmoil and the hardships beyond our control, we can still smile and hope for better days and perhaps happier days ahead.

yeah, Christ is the reason for the season. happy Christmas!

Lemon Tea

2008-12-22T00:36:00.000-08:00

my lemon tea, with few chocolates

the relaxed ambiance that delighted me

i was in the mall last saturday- a feat i haven't done for a while. i was hoping to watch the sunset by the bay and meet my brother afterwards. i was only able to do the latter and because it was the second day of having an upset stomach(probably as a result of eating other foods aside from my regular veggie and fruit diet on a party), i tried to find a not so crowded place to have a drink. i asked the lady in the counter upon placing an order which is their best selling, and lemon tea was suggested. true enough, the tea tasted well and i felt a little better after a few sip. i wanted to ask for a hot water refill but the store is starting to close. tea is meant to be enjoyed and not to be sipped in a hurry so i settled on my first tea serving.

but then again, i needed to go to the nearest pharmacy and buy some medicines for my stomach. yet my lemon tea experience was fantastic.

Primo

2008-12-10T18:19:00.000-08:00

" watching sunset in St Kilda Beach", by orange tulip

" watching the boats in St Kilda", by orange tulip

"watching people in St Kilda Beach", by orange tulip

A friend loveth at all times

-the Holy Bible

Today is Primo's birthday. It is also the 60th anniversary of the United Nations declaration of the Universal Charter of Human Rights. I take time to appreciate Primo for practically granting me all my rights to express myself. I would not dwell on the human rights anniversary and concerns related thereto but would write all about Primo. I haven't seen him nor communicated with him since March of this year (a crook took my mobile phone away i lost all my numbers with it) and i have been up to other concerns. Last year, when he failed to hear from me at all for a couple of months( he got used knowing every big and small details of my life like a blood brother) he was very worried and tried his mighty best to find any news about me from our other friends. After our little talk over the phone and finally meeting him again (sadly at the wake of his father after two years of not seeing each other) he stopped(i hope) worrying even if he could not hear any news from me for quite a while. By now probably he knows that even though i am not always well, i always strive to be happy.

I met Primo in November of 2003 but it was only in December of that year that we started talking. Fresh from a verbal assault in public "discourtesy" of a lady who is a friend of one of his friends, i shunned people whom this lady has been connecting with- in whatever way. I have been practically unfair at that time but when someone is hurt and still hurting, like what i have been through- i did not care about fairness at the time. He was introduced by the president of our student organisation but i was unfriendly to him at the outset, simply because he was quiet and a bit reserved. He was pretty much an intellectual being a professor at the premier university in the Philippines and at the time that i met him, he was taking his doctorate studies as a scholar in the University of Melbourne. For someone trying to find her place under the sun leaving her Communication studies to do Political Science(my close friends tease me that i am a Tourism major because i love travelling while studying and enjoyed exploring all the possible places of interest in the uni and the city every single day), meeting someone like him is quite daunting for me.

I started really connecting with him when a close friend of my female friend has to go back to the country on a very urgent family concern. I have to accompany her in a farewell party hosted by Primo in his apartment. The philosopher and psychologist in him in a"truth and consequence" game has asked me a question i can still remember up to this time. " If there is any circumstance in your life that you want to change and capable of doing so at this time- what is it, and why?" I was hurting from a failed romance (without him knowing it) so that question hit me, bulls eye. I reponded by crying even though i abhor crying in public, much more in front of strangers. They have to stop this fun session, allowed me to cry and gave me cold water to drink.(When we became close, and from a friend he turned out to become my brother- he heard me laughing as loudly as i can most of the time, he confessed that i scared him really well during that night, when i first set foot in his apartment.) We then both laughed about that incident and moved forward.

Another choir (aside from the university choral society where i sang along every week) had a very special number to celebrate the United Nations Day, and we were asked to invite friends over. I chose to invite him, because i wanted to get closer to him at the time although i was not expecting, (given his very tight schedule) for him to be there. Surprisingly, he arrived and we had lunch together afterwards, joined by another then male friend and my female friend close to him. That was the start of a beautiful friendship, and later on-kinship. Having a foster father who looked like a former president and he looking like the first son himself (although i do not look every inch of the first daughter, i was our foster father's favourite "daughter"), our close friends called us as we call ourselves the "first family". Primo and me fondly called each other based on the names in the "first family" and we both called our foster father "Dad" to our own and our listener's delight.

Over our friendship, or kinship for that matter, i have learned a lot of lessons from Primo. Numerous as they are, i will focus on a few outstanding ones. First, being an observant makes someone learn more about things and about people. Most of the time, specially in parties where we usually meet, he enjoys taking photos and sits by himself instead of socialising with others and meeting more people. Remembering my dear friend Edward's email sometime four years ago saying " i'd rather watch people dance happily, than me dancing sadly" and reminiscing the wisdom that Primo had by enjoying "watching people" i relish the experience of "watching people dance happily" since then, most of the time capturing moments using my camera. Yes, participant observation as quality researchers put it, in many circumstances not only during parties(which i have shunned away from a couple of years ago due to health concerns) have given me some form of joy and taught me valuable life lessons.

Second, Primo probably unconsciously taught me the virtue of listening. A good listener himself, he is extremely articulate in our candid conversations, intellectual discussion with my brilliant friends and even in a bigger group of people with various backgrounds. He looks quiet and unassuming at the outset but when he participates in any kind of conversation, one can discover how well read, well educated and well travelled he had been, yet his feet are always firmly planted in the ground. Now i do not participate in many conversations as actively as i had been- i now enjoy listening and learn from the lessons that my listening has given me. Moreover, as he has enjoyed being a confidante to almost all who had "personal troubles" i emerged to be at certain times became a "confidante" like him and enjoyed listening. I can still express my opinions after listening intently and accordingly, it has helped these people who approached me for " help". Now i realised that simply listening can help both friends and strangers alike, but in the process, has helped me too. An author in one of my father's books that i saw in his library wrote" one cannot experience everything in his own lifetime so one has to listen to the experiences of others, and learn lessons from it. "

Third, "he practiced what he preached," so to speak. One rarely gets few words of scolding from him but most of the time, his one liners or short statements are not only "thought provoking" but makes one think deeper, search his/her own innermost thoughts and feelings, do "soul searching" maybe, and realise that he's got a point which he usually always had. Unlike his churchmates who had been flaunting about the "new faith" that they embraced, or the "bible studies" and "prayer meetings" that they held yet lived differently in contrast to that expected of them, or the teachings that they have embraced. Primo, on the other hand, never talked much about his faith- he just lived by it and simply made a difference in the process.

Fourth, he has this considerably high level of tolerance both to the very pleasant and to the extremely unpleasant people that i knew in our small society of overseas students, pretty much practicing the idea of "unconditional love". Being the brat that i had been, i refused to party, dine and talk to few unpleasant and insecure people that have hurt me either intentionally or not and he understood me very well. He never asked, requested nor pushed me to befriend his friends that i disliked(and vice versa), but respected my feelings and waited until, in my own time-heal and forgive and finally reach out to them- without his prodding in any way. I have always been very straightforward and has been in trouble for standing by my opinions eliciting some unkind reactions from other people. I funnily remember now, three years ago, he never stopped ringing me until he finally talked to me. He warned me not to visit him in his apartment nor meet him up in the city because he received a threat from someone " to show me what i deserve" by probably berating me out(for an opinion that i expressed days earlier over a mundane issue) in public. Knowing fully well the trauma that i have been through from another lady , he became very protective of me like a kind big brother and he wanted to make it sure i would not undergo the same experience all over again. Among all our friends, aside from my dear Mummy Henny, it was Primo who fully understood my thoughts and feelings about a lot of things, and people. And he knew the guys i went out with- liked a little, liked a lot, disliked, almost, or probably fell in love with . Most importantly, he fully understood me simply because we belong to almost similar childhood, with almost similar family values and almost similar threads forming our moral fibers. He knew a lot of my secrets (well, around that time those were almost public knowledge anyway) but after some time, at his suggestion, i learned to select which topics would be discussed with new friends from that of old friends or even strangers. He recognised that i have the "gift of the gab" alright, but most often than not, this gift has worked to my disadvantage.

Fifth, along with my Mummy Henny, Primo showed me the fulfillment of performing through dance. I had no problem in singing but i had lots of issues when it comes to dancing in public. Since it was the "festival of nations" all international students organisations were required to render a performance as part of the cultural exchange. It took them, along with the president of our student organisation a lot of time and effort to make me participate after telling me that the role of a dancing princess was only fit for me. Primo, practically stopped writing his thesis outline then, to accompany me in the market, (along with the organisation's former secretary) for me to select and buy the stuff that i need for that dance. And thoughtfully, he patiently designed and did a couple of wonderful fans that is necessary for me to use in that performance. On the actual performance itself, i wanted to stop in the middle of it ( i was very nervous) but he, being with the next performers awaiting their turn told me sternly to " finish it off'" when i tried to exit unceremoniously so i had to go back to the stage and perform until my part was done. It was a big help that i have to do the dancing alone so any mistake/s committed was /were never noticed by the audience at all. In fact, i was complimented for the "fantastic dance" when i passed by a group of other students enthralled by my/our dance number. We were the most photographed group offstage later.

Sixth, he showed me the simple joy of staying home especially on a warm summer. Being away from the family, i looked at my apartment like a prison at some point so i always loved to be away most of the time and go home just before midnight for a shower and sleep. Our

"tea parties" at Mummy Hen's(they finally got a sofa bed for me for my sleeping over nights, my home being away from the uni) and visiting Primo in his apartment, watching and sometimes joining him cook then eating together aftewards have showed me the simple joys of simply staying home. What was very remarkable is that he was the first who cooked lamb steak for me and i was able to appreciate this dish (i always preferred beef) and from then on, i tried to learn how to use my own stove at home, and cook for myself those " experimental dishes" as he lovingly named it.

Seventh, he showed me that "art" itself is one, if not the best form of expressing one's appreciation to another. I had difficult times while studying overseas and after overcoming my compulsion to go to the casino alone to have fun instead of talking to friends and bothering them about my troubles, i rediscovered the joy of talking it out to the waves- so i relished going to my favourite beach alone. Later, he found out that going to St Kilda Beach was a huge part of my "coping" with personal difficulties. Some other days he took his time to accompany me there- the best place i am comfortable to "open up" about my personal troubles. I was undergoing another difficult time a couple of years ago and by instinct, he sent me a photo of this beach by e-mail(i had the luxury of checking my emails regularly then) which in many ways have been my refuge from it all due to its proximity to the city. That picture have comforted me in many ways. When my Mummy Henny visited in autumn of last year, he sent me his acrylic painting of the spot where i usually linger right in front of the beach, with a note of encouragement which i always read from time to time. I had that painting(i never knew he could paint really well until i saw his work!) framed and i always bring it with me everywhere i go. When my days are not well or whenever i am in pain, i look at that painting, and it brings huge relief and encouragement to me. And i thank God for giving me the gift of having a friend doubling as a brother in Primo. Sometimes i wonder if at some point he learned from me or he enjoyed my friendship or kinship when we were still in Melbourne. My musings were answered by the first artwork that he gave me(prior to going home for Christmas break) thanking me for the laughs that i gave him, and making his stay in Melbourne much memourable by being his sister. I still keep that card to this day and it never failed to make me smile.

Finally, Primo taught me that life involves "taking risks" all the time. The last time we saw each other was in February of this year, at the wake of his father. As usual, i got lost like i alwyas do being bad in directions-but he patiently waited for me to alight from the vehicle who took me where the wake of his father was, even if there was a continuous downpour. It was a happy reunion, regardless of the circumstances and it was a joy to meet his sisters and his mom. They are one big happy family and we hit it off easily, even to his friends. I felt like it was not a meeting for the first time. I felt like a cousin or kid sister being away for few long years that they missed, coming home for a reunion(especially when his eldest sister asked me about his personal, well, lovelife but i have learned his ways of evading personal questions and keeping secrets so they only got few clues about girls who probably liked him but i did not name any particular girl). Since it was raining continuously, the eldest sister and probably the most articulate of them all (he was the youngest and the only male in the brood) asked if they can probably postpone the burial supposedly scheduled the next day. Primo refused, taking in consideration of the people who have already filed leave from work, or travelled from far places to be able to make it in the burial. His statement was profound-" What is the guarantee that even if we postpone tomorrow's burial, the weather would be better the next day, and it would not rain, the next days after?" Life is all about taking small and big risks and right there and then, i learned another lesson from my dear brother Primo.

Have a happy birthday Brother Bear Primo. I wish you all the best and i hope to see you again soon. Enjoy your day! Cheers, cheers!

Second Candle of Advent: Peace

2008-12-08T01:35:00.000-08:00

hoping for peace on earth

To take each moment

and live each moment

in peace, eternally.

Let there be Peace on Earth,

and let it begin with me.

-from the song " Let there Be Peace on Earth"

(Words and Music by Jill Jackson and Sy Miller, Circa 1955)

http://www.the-synergy.com/lyrics/ponearth.html

yesterday was quite memourable for me because i arrived an hour late for the Vesper Service in my favourite church in Manila, which unusually started an hour earlier from the regular time that i knew. i usually join the morning service but i was late so i opted to attend the vesper and to my surprise, it started an hour ealier. scrolling "the spire" where the announcement part is, i found out that it was sort-of experimental. the write-up about christmas as a celebration brought much inspiration to me.

i was quite disappointed missing lots of singing hymns, but regardless, i was quite happy to be able to catch the anthem and message part, down to the communion towards closing. the message was delivered very candidly but meaningfully- as compared to the very formal and typically evangelical style that i relish in the morning services.

i love listening to this pastor because clearly, he has a vast knowledge about almost anything. i consider him as an intellectual, with very impressive background, and armed with a degree from an American university, yet he is capable to "level off" so to speak, to his listeners of various background. however, his very candid style on that vesper is another interesting revelation about him. and boy, he did not mind singing as a part of his message, and he sings really well!

part of the message was an anecdote about a daughter's account of his father whom he has been away from for long seventeen years. there was an interplay of awaiting for the messiah, with hopes and excitement that it brings, and that of a young daughter(who grew up away from his father who has been working overseas as a chef) awaiting and finally spending quality time with her dad.

their reunion showed the difference between reality from the ideal and the daughter was very upset to find out that her dad was human enough to have the so called "vices". she discovered that he drank too much and smoked a lot, leading to his lung cancer. there was a struggle on her part , either to resent his father's presence or just forgive him and make his few days in earth a lot happier. she, along with her siblings and mother chose the latter.

the pastor stressed the issue of putting else's feet on someone's shoes and being away from home for quite a time, and studying overseas i can easily relate to the struggles, pains and coping mechanism of someone away from home, much more from his country. and this is a lot more special case because i was away studying for less than three years but the subject was away to work and send money for his family for seventeen long years. quoting from the message it said " we have realised that drinking and perhaps smoking were coping mechanism to survive the loneliness, strangement, alienation that he experienced to give us a life." further it said " we decided to love him inspite of who he was and what he has done to himself. we put ourselves in his shoes. "

the pastor excellently made a simile on the unconditional love that we as humans have received from our Creator. and from the resentment that the daughter has felt towards his father, they decided to love and take care of him, regardless. qouting he said " there is a change of heart that is necessary in order to wait for the coming of the Lord."

it was the second sunday of advent so the second candle was lighted- the candle of peace. there was this usual partaking of bread and wine as part of the worship which are all emotionally and spiritually enriching. the singer in me has always considered singing as a part of worship so i love doing the hymns. the song let there be peace on earth was the closing song. it has been ages since i sang this song and i felt sublime. this is because a couple of weeks or so, i was looking at the mumbai tragedy in india, the unrest in bangkok, thailand and i rejoiced over the appointment of a new peace panel head in mindanao because he is a diplomat.

and i reckon there is still hope for peace and letting it begin with me is quite a hurdle, but trying to do so would make a lot of difference. and the image of the christmas decoration that i took in davao city in the christmas of 2007 came back to my mind. and so for the third time i have to upload this picture in this blog even i have used it for my cry for peace in mindanao. http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html, http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/continuing-cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html

the lines of the song " to take each moment and live each moment in peace, eternally" brought moments of reflection on my part. did i, on my best efforts, took each moment and lived each moment in peace over the past few days, months or years? if not- then probably i could start doing it today. why not?

yeah, let there be peace on earth- and let it begin with me.

Its December!

2008-12-01T18:43:00.000-08:00

"Christmas at the Shang Plaza, 2007" by orange tulip

Remember

This December,

That love weighs more than gold!

~Josephine Dodge Daskam Bacon

i always looked forward for Decembers because i am fascinated by the colours and the moods that the festivities bring- yeah, Christmas is around the corner! let the celebrations begin!

but yes, i have to remember- love weighs more than any of these material things that delights me and perhaps everyone else. so i will be filling my travelling bag soon and make my way to give more love to my ageing parents, reconnect with my siblings and have fun with the kids!

and i have ro remind myself of the real reason for the season- Christ's birth bringing love and hope to mankind.

Giving Thanks

2008-11-27T17:39:00.000-08:00

"a lovely sight to behold"

For flowers that bloom about our feet;

For tender grass, so fresh, so sweet;

For song of bird, and hum of bee;

For all things fair we hear or see,

Father in heaven, we thank Thee!

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

i thank my God for the sunshine and the rain,

for letting me experience both joy and pain,

blessing me with family and friends

giving me strength and encouragements

to relish all my days

and to continue finding

the essence of my being

Yellow Tulip

2008-11-26T01:43:00.000-08:00

"yellow tulip thrilling me"

If you've never been thrilled to the very edges of your soul by a flower in spring bloom, maybe your soul has never been in bloom.

~Audra Foveo

On Pain

2008-11-25T02:08:00.000-08:00

"where the road meets the sea"

"Waiting is painful. Forgetting is painful.

But not knowing which to do is the worse kind of suffering.”
-Paulo Coelho

Sweet November

2008-11-08T08:00:00.000-08:00

orange and pink tulips, photo by Primo

refreshing fountain in NYC, photo by Minnie

orange and yellow Hibiscus at the park, photo by orange tulip

This month is special to me because

its my birth month
the month meant to remember those who have departed this world
every first Tuesday of the month is the celebrated Melbourne Cup in Victoria, Australia
its when the Remembrance Day is celebrated, to remember the fallen heroes of war
its when annual thanksgiving day is celebrated in the United States
the Presidential Elections in the United States is scheduled in November

and many momentous events i cannot yet remember!

Since i am on a holiday, i have selected few excerpts from all my writings since i started blogging in May. At last, a person supposedly private like me has gathered the courage to express my opinions and sentiments. I have also shared my favourite photos.

Here are the excerpts from reckons of spring:
orange tulip
Thanks very much my dear orange tulip and to the people who has been, in certain seasons- became a tulip in my life. Every smile, hug, kiss, pat on the back or simply saying "hello", "take care" and "God bless" have cheered me up in many ways, especially during those times when the sun does not seem to shine in my own world.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/orange-tulip.html

Memories
I miss the people who made me cry, those who listened and comforted me. Collectively, their memories make me happy. I cannot assert myself though, if these (and other memories i cannot yet share) and the people that i met along the way has made me a worse or a better person. However, i am thankful because they have helped me to become a totally different person- from the way i was.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/memories.html

Saying Goodbyes
Saying goodbye surely brings pain and loss- the degree of which depends on how such person have touched our lives. It is a very difficult thing to say and do but doing so trancends to peace of mind(no regrets or few regrets maybe) and it is like unloading a heavy luggage to make our travel easier. I have always struggled to say my own goodbyes, whether it may be the " temporary" or "permanent" ones. Yet i discovered that doing so, has always been-a liberating experience.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/05/saying-goodbyes.html

If
He has been very patient in writing mails, sending birthday cards by post, all of which expressing his deep love and his hopes and dreams for me. He does the same to my siblings too. Studying away from home, his long letters(and a few lines from mom's) has inspired me a lot "to keep going when the going gets tough". But the most precious and unforgetable letter i still keep up to now and reread from time to time was his first letter sent on the first month of my overseas studies. It made me cry with joy. He said "My beloved daughter, thank you so much for making me a very happy and proud father all these years".
If I have made him (and hopefully still do) a happy and a proud father- then probably I am a Woman- his daughter!
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/fathers-day-tribute.html

The Bridges of Madison Country
This is the reason why, upon reading the novel, Bridges of Madison Country, i dont cry anymore but smile and remember the City of Melbourne. Some things are not meant to last but sometimes chance although short encounters can change someone's life- if one takes the courage to take risks. My own experience has taught me not to live in the past and find fulfillment in the present. Moreover, it really showed me that true to its use, bridges connects roads-either in the country or in the city. I also realised that just like its intended use as an infrastructure, a bridge connects people's lives- in any way possible. And the memories of these bridges where i had been, makes me happy- even for a moment.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/bridges-of-madison.html

The Princess of the Stars Tragedy

I can go on and on, writing anything in this blog implicating anybody that I think should be responsible for this tragedy but I opt to stop to make my point. My previous arguments will point out that, the sinking of the M/V Princess is clearly, "an act of man." This does not necessarily mean that the sole responsibility lies on the “ master” alone as the Sulpicio Lines has tried to insinuate during that press conference but a combination of lack of capacity, lacking resources to operate fully, moral/ personal values of the concerned, social and political will on the part of the Sulpicio lines, the shipping industry and the concerned government authorities towards safeguarding the lives and property as the utmost concern when natural calamity like the typhoon enters the Philippine area of responsibility.

But we should not end up finger pointing those who we think are responsible or exonerating those who are not culpable in the tragedy. If we failed to learn our lessons in the past then probably we have to learn the lessons and do something about it. This asks for a closer look in the maritime laws, the implementation of these laws, continued or stronger fight against corruption and strengthening the capabilities of each government agencies like the weather forecasting agency and the coast guards and making the shipping industry more socially responsible. Together, we should work in order that no similar tragedy would happen again in the future.

And I wish that the lives of those who perished in this tragedy will not be treated as mere statistics.

I just hope that no similar tragedy of bigger or lesser extent would happen in the future. This also comes with the wish of not seeing this lady executive from Sulpicio Lines again on another press conference about another ship from their fleet. It’s sad that the shipping company can blame the weather, even God probably, the government agencies tasked to implement maritime laws but they at all cost would not admit that part of it, they are at fault over such fortuitous event.

I pray that the lady who had the courage to speak out her anger, agony and grief would in time, accept the circumstances no matter how hard it would be, find healing and move on with her life. And may all those survivors of the remaining 800 or so fatalities find solace in their terrible pains and searing losses.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/greed-and-princess-of-stars-tragedy.html

Baragatan Festival 2008
For a first-timer like me,"Baragatan" is successful to its superlative. True to its meaning, i came- and met them up- the beautiful place, its very warm people on a cold weather, and the exotic culture, all in one memourable night. Some people can never be lucky as i am. I look forward towards celebrating the future Baragatan festivals with them.

And next time, i will not forget to bring my friends, my camera and a big dinner plate.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/06/baragatan-festival-of-puerto-princesa.html

Peace
Not so long ago, in a world where happiness is usually equated with having achieved or acquired something, i have always argued that happiness is simply being content for who you are, where you are and who you are with. Yet i found out that still, outside circumstances and significant others, can still affect one's happiness. After several heart wrenching episodes in my life, i have realised that the road to inner peace resulting to inner happiness is simply being content-regardless.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/peace.html

Cure
" Earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure"from the Hymn, Come Ye Disconsolate, Words by Thomas Moore 1816, Alt. Thomas Hastings 1831, Music by Samuel Webbe Sr. 1792

I was intensely affected by what seemed to be endless natural calamities bringing human sufferings to Myanmar, China and the Philippines. Every news of pain, of anguish, of losses has in one way or another caused me to feel bad about what's happening. Will these series human sufferings end? When?

Singing this hymn while attending the service in my favourite cathedral has gave me the answer. Yes, earth has no sorrow that heaven cannot cure- if we do not falter to believe.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/cure.html

Le but ultime de la vie
" The ultimate point of life is joy"
" Le but ultime de la vie c'est la joie"

Joy is just a three letter word but its meaning varies between individuals depending on their background or personal circumstances. Yet i reckon that no words can suffice to define or describe joy- it is just felt in the heart, maybe for a simple, huge, or probably for no reason at all. It might be a thrill of feeling in love transcending to joy. I also reckon that it is like an oasis in the desert bringing comfort to a weary traveller if he/she is lucky enough to discover but it is always there. Just like the oasis waiting to be discovered, joy is just inside our hearts. Outward circumstances might bring us disappointments, pain, or grief but if we truly find ways to rediscover, joy is just there within us.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/joy_23.html

A Park To Remember
Arguably, art should be a tool or an essence that can build bridges putting people together in appreciation and enjoyment, regardless of their background, status or personal beliefs and values.

That experience a year ago led to a reminder that i have to take care of myself the foremost, simply because i deserve it. I ceased to find fulfillment in seeing to it that someone's wishes would come true regardless of the inconveniences that would cost me. It beckoned to me that i am an individual with own wishes wanting to be fulfilled. Clearly, i am capable of making my own dreams and making them come true. Most importantly, i should be attending to my own concerns, and i reminded myself that i definitely know how to choose and fight my own battles.

Few days back, an author of an article made suggestions on having a happy life. Number one on his list was to de-blog (yes, to delete the blog) that brings sad memories. On the contrary, here i am blogging about not necessarily sad but sappy(sad and happy) memories. Yet expressing my opinions and sentiments just like what i did to very few trusted friends few days after the experience has not only helped me to cope, but found it pretty much liberating. And talking about any disappointment or pain a year after such experience-is a completion for the healing process, and makes moving on a lot easier and swifter.

I wish the park and its owner well, but as i have opted to be a humanitarian it will remain in my heart- a park to remember.

And to remember i always will, for reasons i have said and left unsaid.

http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/07/park-to-remember.html

Taking Risks
One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.--Andre Gide
I have not learned my lessons over past failures and losses really well. When does a risk become worth taking? How would i know if it is best to just walk away from foreseen losses? Can possible losses really be foreseen? What if foresight have its own lapses and turns otherwise?

I reckon i have to lose sight of the shore for a longer time.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/taking-risks.html

A Cry for Peace in Mindanao
As a global citizen i join the world and the Philippines in its cry for peace, foremost of which is its war-torn Mindanao.

While many of the politicians and top government officials based in Manila are busy in expressing their contrasting opinions about the issues related to the "ancestral domain", i wonder how the displaced locales of North Cotabato and neighbouring provinces are faring. Do they have any food to ease their hunger? Do they have any medicine or medical attention to ease their pains? Can they ever sleep amidst the horror of the ongoing circumstances, or to simplify my question, can they find a shelter, no matter how temporary it is- for a night's sleep? I have cried all throughout the film "Bagong Buwan'(New Moon) showing a glimpse of the sufferings in Mindanao but i can hardly bear to see these people's sufferings in reality.
And deep in my heart, i continuously cry for peace not only in Mindanao, but throughout the world and deep in the hearts of mankind. And i hope that this word "peace" goes beyond rhetorics.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html

Continuing Cry for Peace in Mindanao
Yet i continue to cry for peace in Mindanao for many huge reasons the foremost of which is my undying love for this place and its people where i belong. Yes, Mindanao will always be the first in my heart wherever my fate and faith would bring me- for this is the place where i first saw the rays of the sun and the sparkle of the stars and the beauty of the moon. This is the place of my birth.
http://http//reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/continuing-cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html

Child's World
“ Am I still in the child’s world where candy stands for anything sweet enough to hold back tears? “-V.C. Andrews
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/childs-world.html

Something Precious
“ Sometimes when you lose something precious,
you’re not really losing it;
you’re just passing it on
to someone else”
– Mitch Albom
(Tuesdays with Morrie)
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/something-precious.html

Silent Odyssey: The Right to be Heard
The very unforgettable moments of kindness that stayed in my heart are from strangers. First was when a total stranger in a foreign land tapped my shoulder to give some tissue paper before getting off the tram because I was endlessly crying from the time I boarded the tram. Second, was another (then stranger) surprisingly tapped my shoulder around a couple of hours past midnight to say goodnight after a long, tiring and disappointing day in an island (this surprised me i never had the chance to respond to this kind gesture). Third, was when another ( then stranger) let me cry out in her shoulder over a very painful experience after a friendly altercation which i opted to forget. When I remember the faces of these people, i can’t help but smile- as their acts of kindness linger in my heart.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/09/silent-odyssey-right-to-be-heard.html

Wall Street and Uncertainty
Given the uncertainty of the times, where organisations, financial institutions and relationships fail - or maybe fail us, one should put hope and trust somewhere else. Most importantly he stressed, one should put his trust to someone else. And who is that someone else? Someone of greater authority than any royalty or any political stature and could take control of everything- a Divine Providence and since that was a Christian station, to Christians, its trusting Jesus. The speaker then went on saying the reasons why we- should put our trust to Jesus and ending it with a lovely song " Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus". I was convinced and comforted.

Indeed, in these times of uncertainty and even during happier times, i reckon that it is not only advisable but essential for us to put our trust to the Divine Providence. For me, its trusting the " author and finisher of our faith". Personally, i have stopped asking so many questions why all things( and this is not limited to personal and emotional issues) should happen that way and learned albeit difficult or seemingly unbearable to " live with it" and move on simply because i have to.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/wall-street-and-uncertainty.html

A River Runs Through It
And after watching the film, " A River Runs Through It" getting thrilled everytime Bradd Pitt smiles as Paul and enjoying the countryside landscapes, the beautiful sound of running waters and refreshing sight of the river- i have learned very important things: to find strength in what remains behind, to have faith that looks through death and to love completely-without complete understanding.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/river-runs-through-it.html

Simplicity
Truly, the universal elements are enough to make someone with simple joys wishing to live a simple life, happy. I have been thrilled by the sight of the stars at night most especially when i am in the countryside. I have been most thrilled( and continues to be thrilled) by the sight of the moon especially when it is full.
Yet nothing compares to the joy of simply enjoying these universal elements by myself, alone in the farm or alone in the beach. These are the moments where i can thank the Creator of all things and giving me the gift of life to enjoy His creations, and feel the joy of being loved too much.
http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/10/simplicity.html

Blogging is healing! More will be will be coming up- hopefully. Meantime, thanks for dropping by. Enjoy the Sweet November!

Counting My Blessings

2008-11-07T07:00:00.000-08:00

chocolates that i would love to have, photo by orange tulip

Anthurium i call it heart flower) planted for me, photo by orange tulip

a fountain and flowers, photo by orange tulip

"flowers as birds"-free to be beautiful, photo by Primo

one of my favourite winter photos, "birds and posies", photo by Darwin

Count your blessings, Name them one by one

Count your blessings, See what God has done

Count your blessings, Name them one by one

Count your many blessings, See what God has done

- Words by Johnson Oatman, 1897

(From the Hymn, Count your Blessings)

http://www.the-synergy.com/lyrics/cntbless.html

I have prearranged that this blog would be posted on my birthday. I have planned to be away on a holiday to relish the sun, sand and the sea. I am alive, have lived and let live. And i continue to be. I celebrate my life with thanksgiving and is thankful for people who remembered to celebrate it with me.

Today is my day and I am celebrating my very existence. I want to celebrate quietly as I have done mostly in the past, communing with nature and God, the Creator and giver of my life thanking Him for adding up another year, let alone another day in my life. Somehow I have been a survivor of sorts- yet I consider myself to be a winner in this life’s struggles. Life on earth is indeed very challenging and as humans we are given the free will on how to live it. Arguably, the adage “ Life is what we make it” is true, because we are given choices no matter what circumstances may come. I have chosen to live my life the way I exactly want it even if some, out of their love and concern encourage me to do something else or go somewhere else.. I take also this time to count my blessings and pretty much, counting is endless because in many ways, I am immensely blessed.

I am Loved
I am too much loved. I count it a great blessing having people remembering me today, and in their thoughts and in their hearts, are wishing me well. Mother said that as the first girl in a clan where majority are males, I brought a different excitement from that of my oldest brother, the first grandchild. Accordingly, my mother would wake up most mornings finding out that I am no longer beside her. My crib was almost unused because my dad and his brothers would take turns in carrying me and his sisters would always love to see how I smiled, which happened too often. However, my grandfather and grandmother were the “first priority” to have a chance to “babysit” me.

Yet I am not loved less in my mother’s family. They were quite amazed seeing a baby “flirting” early, smiling more often and laughing loudly than the other babies that they have previously taken cared of. Given my positive and negative traits then, I grew up to be almost everybody’s favourite in both clans. My brothers have enjoyed taking care of me(up to now) and my sisters have always enjoyed giving way to my whims and caprices ( yes, even until now). My parents have been and still are very supportive of my endeavours and plans. Most of the time, while I am still conceptualizing anything that comes to my mind, they pray over it – something that I found myself remiss at times. Yet I have always gathered the courage to go to any venture that I want to take because deep within, I am confident that there are people who conscientiously and regularly pray for me- the foremost of whom are my loving parents.

I have few but valuable friends
Over time, I have gathered not too many but few valuable friends who have loved me at all times. Surely they have been always willing to be there for me no matter what and has learned to love me in spite/despite of. There are times that I am very talkative and irritable or too excited and surprisingly quiet yet they have learned to deal with me with tons of patience and somehow has found the entertainment value of my odd behaviour.

My friendship with the “four seasons” have taken me "leaps and bounds". Achievers themselves in their own crafts, they have taught me a lot, always wished me well and encouraged me to be the best that I could be. I have the “Cuties”, whom I immensely miss, who nurtured me in Melbourne and sweetly named me “ Cutie” themselves with Mummy Hen taking extra care of me like her very own family. Then came the "Happy Club" whose idea of happiness is simply spending time together over movies and foods of various kinds. My old friends have stayed with me, not necessarily geographically but in many ways, emotionally.

I have friends near and far- whom I have known in various seasons and situations throughout the years who remained friends as they had been despite years or months of no regular communication at all. I have tried to name them, but in the end opted to make them unnamed in this post lest I forget some and with due respect to their privacy. But all their names and faces are kept inside my heart. Each friend has come at various times and different situations-- to offer an encouraging word, maybe to help me or save me from harm or further harm, listen to me, converse with me, share my confusion, grief and joy, travel with me, or maybe meeting them at odd or difficult or surprising situations, or simply being there for me for some huge, small or no reason at all. They have been in some ways, sent like an angel to me, making my travel on this world fun, enjoyable and meaningful.

I grew up singing with a church choir everywhere the family or I go and somehow this has helped me to shape my identity and moral fiber thus keeping me grounded me everywhere I go. I have always enjoyed activities with them beyond singing. I have met and cherished friendship with my choir mates simply because we share the same interests, and we share the faith that we both believe in. Although my other friends outside choir find this situation “very much sheltered” I have enjoyed spending time with them beyond rehearsals simply because we are similar in many ways thus can easily understand each other despite our individual differences. I never enjoyed attending bible studies in church but I see it a point not to miss a choral rehearsal because it is a continuous learning experience about teamwork, relationships and the “encouragement sessions” prior to rehearsals has been really helpful to my spiritual growth. This is also where I have most of my early social activities and where the idea of having fun is I am most comfortable with.

My housemates has been huge blessings too-- they are my family away from home doubling as friends. Staying in a dormitory, a house, a flat or an apartment with them have given me the art of making adjustments and the skill of living in harmony which has now become a part of my lifestyle. I have learned a lot from my differences and similarities with the girls (I still have to experience having guys as housemates for at least four months) I have shared my life with. Most of the time, while away from home, they are like pillows cushioning me from further pains and difficulties that life’s realities may bring. I continue to appreciate their patience in listening to my diverse stories (no matter how disinterested they could probably be), interests, opinions and sentiments about anybody and anything no matter how mundane it could be. On a very tiring day a simple smile or a warm hello from them or simply their presence has always been heartwarming.

I have worked in few organizations with varied working environment both in formal and non-formal setting, and in the process I have learned to complement with my workmates in any way I could. Working in special projects, planning and process audit has been very fulfilling with the opportunity of meeting various individuals and organizations and learning from them along the way. I always look back with pride as I remember that the arguably top corporation in the country has requested me to file my application with them(as my name was obtained from the university where I graduated from). I was young and had the yearning for a carefree life and had a different perspective of being happy then, so when I was given a huge responsibility believing in my capacities and capabilities I quit thirty days after such “promotion” more than a year of employment. It was a big decision and very odd at that, surprising the management but not my friends and for quite a time gave me the feeling of remorse. Yet I was up for something so I have chosen not to look back. Each decision and action are bound with consequences and I have learned them in the process quickly, albeit the hard way.

Working with the government, giving me the chance to meet and learn from all sectors of the society has been very fulfilling. There were a lot of disenchantment and frustration over management actions and decisions that I have witnessed- some of which were practically appalling but I have learned to be more understanding, perhaps forgiving and in time, I have learned to live with while still inside the organization.If there is one thing that I can cherish in my memourable experience with working in this organization- it’s the feeling of being much loved and accepted for who I am and could be. My workmates were a witness to my numerous opinions about some decisions I think otherwise, or about other people’s very proud behaviour and actions, yet they listened with interest and sometimes were just entertained by my musings about something that I think are excesses. Nevertheless they remind me to be quiet when I have to and behave well when I was not behaving as expected or required of me. In this workplace, I have been treated like a family- their own sister or daughter or cousin may be, to which I am much grateful.

When I am studying overseas, I was also privileged to work in a policy making body working with the federal government where I did lots of research work discovering a lot of new ideas and meeting many people in various sectors along the way. I have enjoyed the highly egalitarian working environment where the top executive would not mind bringing out the trash bin if she thinks it has to be done. Because of this job, I was able to attend parliamentary sessions, conventions business lunch and dinners and the honour of being invited for dinner at the home of my CEO along with few chosen employees on some important occasions. Even as I started as an intern, I was treated really well-pretty much a part of the workforce. And on my last day, after doing my tasks of reading, analysis and writing policy recommendations, busy people in that workplace have taken time to have coffee and cake with me in the conference room, appreciate how I have worked with them and wished me well.

On the other end, as a fashion sales assistant, I have enjoyed dressing up like the mannequin in the fashion specialty store for tourists and had fun assisting people as they fit various clothes, and arranging these clothes on display when no customer is around, or simply writing the prices, or how much discount would be given to a certain item. What I remember the most was my colleagues, very pretty girls in their own right, take turns in bringing extra sandwich for me, knowing that I am only employed part-time as a full-time student. And I relish having lunch in the park close to the store while watching people do their own thing, and have coffee with colleagues some Fridays.

I Can Elicit Stimulus

I am capable to elicit stimulus both positive and negative whatever I do and whichever I go. I have met people who smile back at me when I smile at them-including strangers, some laugh at my jokes no matter how corny they could be. I like it much when someone gives me a task to do or a responsibility to handle- big or small as this means I am entrusted with such. On the opposite, few people dislike me which is really not surprising at all given our human nature. I have always been a non-conformist, and I have always been comfortable as an “artist-in the making” in the company of intellectuals, achievers, the organized (obsessive -compulsive to some).There were instances where some disliked me at first glance or have made a pre-conceived notion of who I am as a person at first meeting without the benefit of discovering who I am as a person( which in many ways is a person with contrasts). Later, they would apologise for judging me quickly because of how I dress, carry myself or because of expressing my liberated ideas comfortably. Some become my friends while others continue disliking me which did not bother me at all. In time, I have become comfortable in the idea that “You cannot please everybody.” And my presence, eliciting stimulus either negative or positive is better I think- than being unnoticed at all.

Free to be Me
I am free to be “me.” My principle in life is quite simple, I do things “ because I want to and do not do them because I do not want to.” New acquaintances have been surprised how I tried to adhere in this so called principle which in itself is not an easy task for me. Oftentimes, I have to deal with “compromise” especially in formal working situations which have made me uncomfortable and even unhappy.. And I am looking forward to the time that I will be “in control” by venturing in activities and businesses that I love to do and can implement my ideas which are oftentimes “outside the box” .

I am quite lucky to have a disciplinarian God fearing mother and a democratic father with liberated ideas who nurtured me to be “me”. As a child, I have shown peculiar behaviour compared to my brothers and my cousins whom I grew up with. Thus, bringing me up “properly” was a challenge to my parents. But my father has allowed me to express myself in many ways I have wanted- through music, performances and leaving me alone with various books instead of playing out in the sun with other children like my brothers did. Having a kid sister few years after was a breeze- my mother has probably become happier in having a daughter where she can do what she had ever wished for- dress her like a doll, bring her to parties, teach her to dance, sing, help her to cook, fix the household and accompany her in her numerous stint as a “flower girl”. I was happy to be left alone and to do what I really wanted. In essence, they have tolerated me to be “me.”

As an adult, my upbringing has permitted me to become comfortable in expressing my opinions, including unsolicited advices over something or anything just because I want to and not necessarily being asked for. So far, I have experienced a couple of verbal assaults in public simply because I have expressed my opinion to the dislike of those concerned. Of course it was not easy for me but I find solace in the thought that during those instances, I have friends who have defended me without me asking it who are and always willing to be there for me. The first experience four years ago was quite traumatic because it is close to a church and it came from someone I have treated as a sister or mother(and has led a bible study group which eventually discontinued). The second one happened months ago while accompanying a senior citizen to buy rice at a government retail establishment. I was expecting that the senior citizen would not undergo the regular “queue” as the others have been required to do. I was assaulted three times simply because I said that they have no humanitarian consideration at all over that incident. I did not dignify both by simply not retaliating at all. I was more concerned that if I did not express how I felt which led to the assaults I would feel bad forever. And those couple of experiences will not deter me from doing the same in the future.

I can express myself in creating stuff that I can do and venturing into activities that I love to dabble upon. At present, I have focused my interests in photography and writing although I am not making money out of them- suffice would be the personal fulfillment that I have in doing so. Blogging has in many ways liberated me further, allowing me to express my thoughts about something, someone or anything under the sun. In this modern world, I have still to learn the ways of chatting on line, joining social sites like Friendster, My Space, Facebook and Multiply where some of my friends enjoy much. I still have to learn the habit of reading my emails regularly and the courtesy to reply the emails that I receive from thoughtful friends near and far. I was somewhat wondering why I joined the blogging community after I sat down in a coffee shop to listen to the Penman himself, a Creative Writing Professor, a novelist and a blogger, showing me the excitement and joy and the vast possibilities of doing so. A lawyer friend who brought me over, said “ it is your thing” and I believed her because her blogs have inspired me to do so. And I discovered that two months after that session, being orange tulip in virtual community has been therapeutic for me somehow. I am now less talkative and I have discovered that I can write in various tones. When my former professor and a Palanca Literature judge at that, who became a great friend and a life adviser(she was my Speech Communication course adviser) read my post about” The Princess of the Stars Tragedy” she encouraged me the to write professionally. And i reckon- why not?

Visiting and Discovering Wonderful Places
I am too blessed to have the chance to visit wonderful places, explore the not much unknown, meet people (some become my friends) along the way, learning and immersing in various cultures and subcultures and simply enjoying the universal elements, particularly the water. Although my filmmaker/editor friend has told me that best moments are kept inside the heart, she encouraged me to do photography which I now enjoy very much.

Traveling and photography have helped me to cope with some pains, disappointments, failures and disenchantments over people and situations. Just like photography where the photographer can choose which part should be included, or which angle one would take to have a “beautiful photo”, in the “composition phase” I have learned to look at life in my own perspective. In essence, I have opted to look at the brighter and beautiful side of things, places, situations and people. Life is beautiful to those who choose to make their lives beautiful, no matter what perspective they take and I reckon that theres is no exception on this.

I am Still Alive
Because I am still alive, I can enjoy frolicking in the sand, watching the waves lap the shores in the beach, immerse myself in the water, alone or with company of few or many. I can walk the unexplored places and discover things that are probably extraordinary. I can wake up early in the morning to see the majestic sunrise and wait until I can watch the sunset in all its splendour. I can stay on at night to find out if there will be stars, or the moon would be shining a quarter, half or full or if the sky will be totally dark at all. And I sleep excitingly wondering what will tomorrow bring.

I can enjoy listening to the chirping of the birds, the innocent banter and laughter of my nephews and my niece, and the naughty, funny or intellectual conversations with my friends and loved ones. I can relish spending time with my family most specially to my ageing parents and relatives whenever I have the chance.

Because I am still alive, I can hope and dream for better or happier days ahead at the same time being simply happy with what I have, where I am and who I am with.
Because I am still alive, I can continue to struggle to make amends to those whom I have offended- intentionally or not, to ask forgiveness to those I have wronged and learn to give forgiveness to those who have wronged me realizing that we humans are imperfect no matter how “excellent” our upbringing was, or how well-educated or well-traveled we could ever be.

And remembering how I am loved and forgiven by the Giver of life, my Creator, I am reminded to be more compassionate, more forgiving, and more understanding towards my fellow human beings.

I am still alive because I still need to learn a lot- probably a lot of loving, a lot of forgiving and giving from my fellow transients in this world.

I am still alive because I have to continue finding the purpose of my creation and live for that purpose.

And I thank God for the many blessings I can hardly count.

Finding My Paradise

2008-11-06T12:00:00.000-08:00

sunrise in Busuanga Island, Philippines

aerial shot of Club Paradise, Dimakya Island, Palawan, Philippines

aerial shot Busuanga Island, Palawan, Philippines

waiting for the sunset in Coron town, Busuanga, Palawan

approaching the Coron Town from a day of island hopping

Bonol Beach, Coron Islands, Palawan, Philippines

Kayangan lake,Coron Islands, Palawan, Philippines

all photos were taken by orange tulip on her first visit to Busunga and neighbouring islands in Palawan

“I do not seek. I find.”
-Pablo Picasso
(Spanish Artist and Painter. 1881-1973)

I am for Barack Obama

2008-11-03T07:00:00.000-08:00

Obama with his maternal grandparents(photo courtesy of Obama Campaign)

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-obama-grandmaoct21,0,3939455.story

New York City, photo by Minnie

Source: http://www.thefantasyaddicts.com/

Tomorrow would be the most awaited elections in the United States of America. I have watched the process of selection for both the Republican and Democratic Party and followed them through watching the "presidential debates" albeit by television. I have shared the admiration that my Dad have for the former first lady of Bill Clinton, Hillary who became New York's senator and i have listened with awe how John McCain has been in the American politics, how he survived as a POW in Vietnam, his foreign policies and how he would steer America to a " change" but i had always rooted for Barack Obama.

Yes, i have always believed and still do and hope that after the conclusion of today's elections, Barack Obama will emerge as a victor and will be declared as the new President of the United States of America. There are various reasons why he should be elected but since i am writing in my blogspot, i am citing my personal reasons for choosing him over a senior with probably much wisdom and experience in the person of John McCain. I am really touched by his display of humanity when at the height of his campaign, he made a break to fly to his graveky ill grandmother. http://washingtontimes.com/.../obama-visits-grandmother-perhaps-for-last-time Reportedly, her grandmother Madelyn Dumham who raised her back in Hawaii was the only family left to him after reportedly losing her mom due to cancer. Spending around six hours with his grandma, sitting close to her and making few talks, he displayed such consciousness and concern to things that really matter beyond politics, foreign policies and the tumbling economy.

By this time, a lot has been said and done to ensure Obama's winning. Powell's endorsement, a staunch Republican supporter has reportedly gave his candidacy a big boost. Few days back, Bill Clinton, the Democratic that he is- buried the hatchet and accompanied Obama in the last leg of his campaign.

As i look at the pictures of Barack, and watch him in television in his campaigns to the presidential debate, i can't help but be awed by his charisma. Regardless of his colour which was undermined by the Republicans, His smiles seem to look sincere and so is his promise to America, the "mantra of change." In this times of difficulty and uncertainty, economic fall down which could probably turn like the Great Depression in the nation many years back, Barack brings with him hope- lots of hope for change and better days ahead.

And i do hope that he will make it as the first coloured and the forty fourth Presidentof the United States of America, and let change begin.

Remembering the Departed

2008-11-02T04:02:00.000-08:00

orange marigold, irresistibly beautiful...

Today I take the time to remember my loved ones who have already departed in this world. My maternal grandmother who helped my mother in taking care of me as an infant passed away before I grew up big enough to remember her face. Her husband, my maternal grandfather died after a few months of being bedridden. Sadly, he died calling the name of my dad(arguably his favourite son-in-law) and my uncle(my mother’s kid sister) while my mom was in the school one morning to enroll us in primary school. After his burial, he appeared to my mother in a dream probably to say farewell.

Then a couple of uncles, my mother’s kid brothers who has lived their lives to the brim, singing and drinking to their hearts content while smoking with or without occasions did not reach advanced ages although they were able to build their families. Mother’s youngest brother died due to a lingering illness while I was miles away for my college education leaving my small cousins and his widow behind. My other uncle quietly passed away after supposedly recovering from a stroke and accordingly his very recent hospitalization. I was then on my second month in the big city when this happened and I was unable to attend his funeral.

A karate and judo enthusiast with shoulders arguably like Arnold Schwarzenegger due to his body building activities was the first to go among seven brothers( well, in their adult life because they lost an infant brother due to a congenital illness in a brood of eleven where father was the eldest) and three sisters. It was difficult for his parents because that was too sudden making my grandmother grieved too much wishing that she should have went ahead. My father has to make a quick trip to see his family and find out what happened. He was strong and just recently got married leaving no son nor daughter, and not even a pregnant (only a grief stricken wife ) when death snatched him away. It was quite unforgettable for us because we were busy preparing for my youngest sister’s birthday when the sad news came. Dad stayed for the birthday celebration but has to leave quickly the next day to bury his own brother miles away from him. We were still toddlers the last time he visited our farm house and he went fishing and hunting and made lots of friends in our neighbourhood. And he loved to pamper us. Although we visit my grandparents’ house during summer, uncle’s visit to us was unforgettable

On my third year in college, I lost a close friend to an accident. We are very fond of each other and since he is smaller than me I would call him( as all other friends call him “the youngest brother.”). He was born and raised in Palawan, that time was just a name of a place to me. I have seen his advocacy on environment and wildlife preservation back then being extremely active in his environmental organization. He has fondly told me stories about Palawan until the time that I asked him to bring me a token from Palawan when we parted ways for the school break. He came back with a bangle which was according to him, made of indigenous materials and crafted by the natives. I was so touched and wore that bangle proudly in school and during performances. It looked ordinary yet special and I have to keep my “Cleopatra bangles”( that;’s how my naughty male classmates in Chemistry calls them) away over this unique and lovely bangle from my “ kid brother” to which he became very proud and happy seeing me wearing it and promised to bring me more on the next semester. He did not live long to be able to come back the next semester. When classes has started I was bothered why I still haven’t seen him so I went to his dormitory and asked his close friends how he had been. In turn, I heard the sad news that he met an accident one evening and was pronounced “dead on arrival” in the hospital where he was brought. Until now I still keep that unique bangle from him- I do not wear it anymore though, for it brings sadness but it is well-kept in a souviner box where tokens from friends and loved ones are kept. From time to time I open it, wear the bangle for a minute or two and smile remembering our happy talks about where the bangle came from. More than a year ago I happened to visit Palawan and my own eyes have seen the paradise that he has been telling about. I saw lots of bangles for sale like what he thoughtfully gave me one semester in college but I never bought one. I wanted to keep only one bangle of the same kind- the one from my “ kid brother” which to date, is pretty special to me.

After three months on my first job, a very close friend from my theatre circle also died due to a vehicular accident while on the way home from a happy reunion with her high school friends. Her death has taught me a lot of lessons about life’s realities-- never to procrastinate and other tidbits in life but most importantly, the liberating experience of “ saying goodbye”.

Few years after, another friend never woke up from her comatose stage months after undergoing surgery for her brain cancer. I visited her in the hospital few days before she succumbed due to infection and it took weeks before I have forgiven myself believing that for touching her hand, talking and lingering in the ICU where she was confined, I might have brought her some virus that could have infected her. It was her mother who gave me relief saying that- the moment she decided to have her brain surgery for a chance to live, she was ready to lose her. She has been very special to me because our name almost sounded the same. I was there until her cremation and I just hugged her mom because I did not know what words to say to comfort her.

I was on a travel as part of a research work where I was actively involved when the news about my paternal grandmother reached me. She has finally given up after a long battle with colon cancer, a disease that also caused the death of her two sisters. I always remember her zest of life being a dancer and a popular lass in her youth, her love of finer things in life and smoking despite her health condition. I have stressed smoking as extraordinary in this family because non of his seven grown up sons, including my dad and even my brothers and cousins did not smoke but she did it with gusto. Truly, she loved and lived her life to the fullest. What is very memourable about the two of us was when her children(my uncles and aunts) prohibited her to smoke, she got too irritable and I intervened by telling them that she will die anyway so why stop her to enjoy a little while alive by allowing her at least to smoke? Knowing how naughty I could be as the first granddaughter in the clan, they gave in to my point which delighted my grandmother too much. I was unable to bury my grandmother but I loved remembering her as a woman who loved life, and truly lived to the fullest when she was alive.

Three years ago, it was the turn of my paternal grandfather to go home in his father’s house in heaven. Being a farmer and a gardener in addition to his numerous church-related activities has probably contributed a lot to his longevity. The last time I was with him along with my sister and cousins, he was enjoying the “rides” in a theme park and he had the time of his life. He had also lots of stories to tell about his travels and the people he met and yes, his wish for a second chance to love again which his children frowned upon. As the only family member vocal in allowing him to remarry a woman half of his age few years after my grandmother passed away, I got the irk of my relatives which did not bother me anyway. Seeing an ally in me, he loved telling stories how he and the girl met, how he beautified her garden in Guam while they were neighbours as an expression of his love and how he was taken cared of in return by the lady. I never had the chance to meet such lady but when I remember the glimmer in his eyes while telling stories about her, I know that he was in love-again. Grandfather’s demise was exceptionally painful for me because I was studying overseas thus was unable to see him both in his sick and death bed, and was absent in his funeral. It was unforgettable because I have to deal with my own grief and loss away from my family which felt the same. Besides, I was unable to find out if his second love has made it to his funeral.

A year ago was the death of our foster grandfather. He has treated my father like his own son and his children referred to him as their eldest brother. Before his death, his family was considering to replace the pacemaker in his heart but being very sick already, he refused another surgery. He was in and out of the hospital and even went overseas for treatment. Considered as one of the richest men in his village, talks spread that not even his vast wealth was able to stop him from imminent death( I heard the talks myself but painfully kept quiet, as I was then with my seven year old kid nephew). A man who has spent most of his time serving God, he had full knowledge that when his time comes it will. What is very remarkable about his death was, before breathing his last, he told his wife, our Grandma about the funeral service that he himself planned twenty years earlier. In that program he prepared twenty years back, he has explicitly identified the parts, the people that would participate. He has diligently chosen the songs to be sung, the singers to sing a particular song and even the ministers to do the funeral rites in church to his grave. Probably, he has acknowledged long ago that for us humans- death is inevitable and yes, that is the ultimate destiny of man on earth regardless of their race, citizenship, economic and social status, and even biological age.

A couple of weeks earlier was another demise which majority of those he left behind referred to as “ untimely”. He was a driver but I opt to remember him as a good cook and has been like a brother to me because of my closeness to her beloved. I do not know how to comfort his beloved so I just let her cry on my shoulder and cry with her too.

Their death is a constant reminder for me to appreciate each morning given to me everyday as I wake up alive. Second, I have realized that death is not really “untimely” as we humans look at it with the life expectancy age in mind. Arguably, when one has to leave this earth regardless of how- it is surely his or her appointed time no matter the gravity of pain or shock or grief it would bring to those left behind. Third, their faces might not be vividly remembered yet their kind deeds and unforgettable acts will remain in the hearts of those that they touched. Fourth, the only sure thing in this world is that- humans will eventually leave it when their appointed time comes . Fifth, they cannot bring any treasure nor material wealth that they have amassed to grave, except of course the material things that those left behind opted to bury him with.

Finally, remembering those departed ones gives me the zest to go on living no matter what. It also inspires me to try my very best to do a kind deed and unforgettable act so that when my time( hopefully when I am old and gray) to leave this world comes, i will be remembered by those I will leave behind.

Beauty

2008-10-30T03:39:00.000-07:00

St Kilda Beach , Melbourne, Australia, photo by Primo

a view from the terrace of the house on top of the hill photo by orange tulip

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Used by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 inaugural speech

I am not necessarily brilliant and famous but i have always believed(or at least that's how people who loved me made me believe) that i am gorgeous and talented. Moreover, it does not bother me if some have been insecure having me around. Early in life i have been taught that i was born to give joy to my parents, my kins and to the people around me who can appreciate the beauty of my existence. I have also relished the idea to let my light shine brightly so as to encourage others to shine on their own too. And i have been fearless in expressing myself, including my own fears since i discovered that doing - has always liberated me. I may sound odd to a few but i realised that in some ways i have made some smile or laugh. And in making them happy in my own simple ways, i have realised that it makes me happy too. In return, through their simple and quiet ways - a sweet or shy smile, a cheerful hello, reassuring kiss or a soulful hug, an encouraging word or lavish praise from family, friends, workmates, loved ones and even strangers- i have realised that these can make me happy too.

And in agreement with Nelson Mandela I reckon that this is the beauty of life- being born to make manifest the glory of God that is within me and you. And i am in the working progress, for such.

Garry's Day

2008-10-27T22:53:00.000-07:00

a shore in Sorrento, Country Victoria(Australia), photo by James

a boat in Coron Islands, Palawan(Philippines), photo by orange tulip

"Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore."
- Andre Gide

(French writer, humanist and moralist, 1947 nobel prize for literature, 1869-1951)

Today is Garry's day. I cannot greet him personally because he opted to go to New Zealand since July. He has survived winter Down Under and now he is enjoying the spring breezes and hopefully will get through the summer and the autumn coming up.

If there are some personal characteristics that i admire about him its his industry, quietness and patience. This came as a huge surprise to me. Knowing that he is the only child i would not be surprised if he behaved like a spoiled brat but as far as i knew him(we are not close though), he is not a brat at all. Probably i have to give credit to his mother, Aunt Linda for his upbringing. And i have endlessly enjoyed his tons of patience because despite of some bullying that i intentionally did while he was near, he would just smile and offer me coffee or ice cream or any food that comes handy with the main purpose of stopping me when he thinks i have been saying lots of nonsense and he has listened enough or he is extremely busy. Yet he never failed to smile albeit probably out of courtesy to my jokes(its his officemates in the quarantine services who have been gracious enough to listen to my stories and laugh at my jokes- and to them i am most thankful they never fail to be friendly to me). And i know that i have offended Garry or upset him when he suddenly keeps quiet sans the friendly smile in his face- and i get scared so i have to be quiet myself, gigggle nervously or simply leave. Anyway, he is a nice lad i should say, and that's on top of being intelligent and handsome( maybe he just needs to lose a few pounds though but nobody's perfect so he does not need to- if he is happy and comfortable with being chubby).

Going to New Zealand is a big leap for Garry, i guess and since he is very quiet about it i was quite surprised when i heard about it seeing how successful he has become in his chosen career as a veterinarian. He has been well-travelled, having been to various countries in the world for a month or couple of months per trip. However i believe that by leaving his current job, organisation and status, he did a good decision to get out of his comfort zone. This is a great opportunity to learn new lessons and discover things, culture and meet more people. Truly, Andre Gide, a French writer has been thinking of encouraging people to go on an adventure when he said these words: " Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." I am happy that he took the courage to lose sight of the shore. And i wish him the best!

Here's to a happy birthday and may all your wishes come true, Garry( finally i spelled it right, i always spell his name with a single r as in Gary and he would just quietly correct it doubling the rrs). Happy Birthday Brother Beer! Cheers!

Simplicity

2008-10-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

...a chance to enjoy the sun, sand and the sea

... to breath the fresh air, watch the clear skies

...a hut to rest and relax on a warm summer

... a wildflower always in bloom to enchant everyday

...the refreshing sight of clear waters

"the rewards of a simple life" photos by orange tulip

To find the universal elements enough; to find the air and the water exhilarating; to be refreshed by a morning walk or an evening saunter ... to be thrilled by the stars at night; to be elated over a bird's nest or a wildflower in spring—these are some of the rewards of the simple life.

-John Burroughs

Truly, the universal elements are enough to make someone with simple joys wishing to live a simple life, happy. I have been thrilled by the sight of the stars at night most especially when i am in the countryside. I have been most thrilled( and continues to be thrilled) by the sight of the moon especially when it is full.

And i reckon that the moments which i have been truly happy were simply frolicking in the beach with my nephew and niece especially when they were toddlers, an experience that i never enjoyed while growing up with my siblings becase i am always left behind with my books to read. The most memourable mornings are the early morning walks to the orchard with my parents to find which tree bore the most fruits, when i was already a grown up- an experience i again missed as a child. The happiest nights are when the whole brood of brothers and sisters are together (which rarely happen) doing an evening saunter about the naughty things we did while growing up and how we got away with it/them and partaking the simplest meal that we can prepare together while talking and laughing over nostalgia- grilled fish.

Yet nothing compares to the joy of simply enjoying these universal elements by myself, alone in the farm or alone in the beach. These are the moments where i can thank the Creator of all things and giving me the gift of life to enjoy His creations, and feel the joy of being loved too much.

Mindanao, The Land Once Promised

2008-10-23T01:50:00.000-07:00

" kris, the traditional Muslim armour, Iligan City" by orange tulip

" the exhilarating skies of North Cotabato countrysides", by orange tulip

"the ricefields in Zamboanga, ready for planting", by orange tulip

“What we want is peacetime so we can return to our home,” said the 40-year-old farmer who, with his family, had been staying at an evacuation center. “It’s difficult here; this is not our home. What about our food, our livelihood, our children’s education?”

- as reported by the Mindanao Bureau, Philippine Daily Inquirer

The Farmer’s Reaction Multiplied
This farmer, as reported by the Mindanao Bureau of the Philippine Daily Inquirer http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081016-166596/Military-bracing-for-trouble-in-South captured the sentiments of the ordinary people of Mindanao(Philippines). It now makes sense to me why long before this MOA-AD issue, it was called “The Promised Land”. I was telling few friends that at least they tried to give semantics to such three words. A part of Mindanao “was promised” to the MILF by the GRP Peace Panel through the MOA-AD, sadly without any consultations with concerned persons.

Thanks to their proactivity, local officials of North Cotabato, Iligan City and Zamboanga (who claimed that they were not consulted by the government panel) were able to beat the signing of the “initialed” MOA-AD scheduled in Malaysia by filing a temporary restraining order at the Supreme Court. Thus the promise to give specific parts of Mindanao as mentioned in the supposedly “peace agreement” was temporarily unfulfilled pending to the Supreme Court Decision of the Philippines which activated the “tantrum- like” behaviour of MILF Commanders Bravo and Kato leading to a so-called "rampage" in North Cotabato and Lanao del Norte resulting to many losses, pains and sufferings. According to the news reports, “ More than 60 civilians were killed in the attacks and more than 600,000 people have been displaced.” The trauma of those who experienced or witnessed the chaos will always be unquantifiable and probably would take time to heal.

These statistics have brought more chills. If someone has been to Mindanao, he/she would not be scared by the news as it sounds to be. The beauty of the island has always been eclipsed by the "troubles" that the island has underwent. Instead of the nature's bounty, magnificent seascapes and marvelous landscapes, Mindanao is pretty popular for news related to kidnapping, war and lately rampages. It is not really scary to travel and relish nature’s bounty in the island considering that these “rampages”, thank goodness are not everyday. Moreover, the “ military operations” are not on a 24- hour period seven days a week, and only specific areas are “critical. “ Yet when one has passed by or at least tried to make a visit to these evacuation areas (where displaced families including women and children live at least temporarily the length of time is with much uncertainty), then he or she can fully empathise with the sentiments, pains and sufferings of this farmer. Practically, “time stood still” for them and unless real peace where no more killing between opposite forces and at times hitting civilians in the crossfire happens. I keep on wondering and wish that their sufferings would end soon.

Like all others from different sectors who are deeply concerned, I have eagerly awaited for the final decision of the "court of last resort", the Supreme Court while crying for peace in Mindanao (http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html) (http://reckonsofspring.blogspot.com/2008/08/continuing-cry-for-peace-in-mindanao.html). I am hopeful that peace will soon be tangible enough or at least felt by the residents of Mindanao.

The News Accounts on the Final Decision

Last week, the final decision made it in the headlines, editorials and opinion pages. Even though I wished and hoped a lot about it considering how the Supreme Court decided in the case of Romulo Neri invoking executive privilege, I was worried it might bring unpleasant surprise. Joining the others, I rejoiced in the decision no matter what. Accordingly,” The Supreme Court on Tuesday voted 8-7 to find the MOA-AD “contrary to law and the Constitution” with its provisions on the creation of the Bangsamoro Juridical Entity (BJE). “ Arguably, this is a celebrated or unforgettable case I guess, in the history of the Philippine Supreme Court. http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081016-166603/Govt-negotiators-disregarded-Charter. Bits of the news are the following: In his opinion concurring with the Supreme Court majority decision rejecting the memorandum of agreement on ancestral domain (MOA-AD), Puno said: “During the whole process, the government peace negotiators conducted themselves free from the strictures of the Constitution.”

“[Under the agreement) the BJE is granted powers of governance which it can exercise without need of amendments to be made to the Constitution or existing law or without imposing any condition whatsoever,” Puno said.

He added: “No one can claim he has a blank check to violate the Constitution in advance and the privilege to cure the violation later through an amendment of its provisions.
“Respondents’ thesis of violate now, validate later makes a burlesque of the Constitution.”

Justice Antonio Carpio, in his own separate concurring opinion, said the executive branch took on the powers of Congress and the people when it committed the constitutional amendments to pave the way for the agreement’s implementation.
“[Any] peace agreement that calls for amendments to the Constitution—whatever the amendments may be, including the creation of the BJE—must be subject to the constitutional and legal processes of the Philippines,” Carpio said.

He said the constitutional power of the people to approve or disapprove such amendments “can never be disregarded.”

I have always enjoyed reading the Philippine Star and Daily Inquirer. I read both on a daily basis except when I do not have the access. I try to find time to compare news accounts, read and analyse opinions, with the editorials as finale over tea before going to bed(yes, I read the news at night, not during breakfast like most people do). Most interesting are these links: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081016-166603/Govt-negotiators-disregarded-Charter, http://www.philstar.com/archives.php? aid=2008101597&type=2 and http://www.philstar.com/archives.php?aid=20081016142&type=2.

This editorial pagehttp://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/editorial/view/20081017-166830/Executive-bull,) posed three questions which made me reflect:

Does Malacañang actually expect the public to believe that, on the fundamental concession of a Bangsamoro Juridical Entity (BJE) government that had an “associative” relationship with the “central government,” government peace negotiators led by another retired general, Rodolfo Garcia, had proceeded without the President’s express say-so?

Does Malacañang actually expect the public to believe that, on the essential point of defining an expanded territory for what would have been the replacement of the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao (ARMM), government peace negotiators proposed an arrangement the President herself did not approve of?

Does Malacañang actually expect the public to believe that, on the extraordinary breakthrough that would have allowed the BJE to set up foreign missions and conduct diplomacy unilaterally, government peace negotiators pulled a fast one on the President?"

As a member of the so-called public, I join the writer of this article in asking these questions not only because I am very interested, but primarily because beyond the intellectual and analytical point of view, my heart have felt and my eyes have seen the sufferings of humanity brought by this seemingly endless quest for peace.

Like what I have been expecting, Amando Doronilla, a famous political analyst in the country, whose analysis of various political scenario in the country have immensely helped me while doing political science down under, wrote his exemplary analysis over the matter a day after the most awaited and arguably heralded decision came out. It was very interestingly titled: “ A stinging rebuff to the administration “ http://opinion.inquirer.net/inquireropinion/columns/view/20081017-166834/A-stinging-rebuff-to-the-administration . His analysis are itself stinging with excerpts as follows:

The Supreme Court declared unflinchingly on Monday as illegal and unconstitutional the Memorandum of Agreement on Ancestral Domain (MOA-AD) that sought the establishment of an expanded Bangsamoro homeland in Mindanao with an 8-7 vote, in one of its closest decisions during the Arroyo presidency. The tight vote did not mask the stinging rebuff administered by the Court to the administration despite the fact that most of its members have been appointed by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo.

Days before the promulgation of the decision, legal circles buzzed with speculations that the Court might vote to inhibit itself from making a decision on the substantive aspects of the case. And the fact that the Court trumped these apprehensions bolstered its prestige. It showed that in moments of grave national turmoil, as in the case of the renewed separatist war in Mindanao, the justices could transcend considerations of personal gratitude to the appointing power. The decision was a sterling display of independence. It declared the MOA-AD, initialed by the government’s peace panel and that of the separatist Moro Islamic Liberation Front, “contrary to the law and the Constitution.”

The decision resolved two substantive issues, one relating to the manner in which the MOA-AD was negotiated, and the other relating to its provisions. The issues were: (1) Did the government’s peace negotiators violate constitutional and statutory provisions on public consultations and the right to information when they negotiated and initialed the MOA-AD? (2) Do the contents of the MOA-AD violate the Constitution and our laws?

What Happens Now?
Jarius Bondoc, a celebrated and fearless journalist with much passion for truth no matter what or who is involved has been writing a lot about Mindanao in his opinion column Gotcha! for The Philippine Star. (I became his huge fan since his ZTE related expose and I have tirelessly followed his articles containing exposes and analysis and concern about various issues very important to the masses, the latest of which is the ZTE mining in Mindanao that would probably be an interesting subject for another post) His column, as a reaction to the Supreme Court Decision on the Philippine Star was aptly titled “What now for Mindanao? (http://www.philstar.com/archives.php?aid=20081016140&type=2). Although I have attached his whole article I want to underscore his very important point to which I strongly agree. Among other issues, he argued: " It would be tougher now to renew peace talks with Moro separatists. The fault is not with the Supreme Court for junking Malacañang’s Memo of Agreement-Ancestral Domain with the Moro Islamic Liberation Front. The hitch is Malacañang itself. Nobody trusts it anymore to forge a settlement — not the judiciary or the legislature, not the local officials or the military, not the Christians or the Moros."

I believe no Mindanaoan would favour the idea that fighting should go on in the island. After all, every Mindanaoans and Filipinos for that matter has been longing and working for peace even if it has remained elusive all these years. I think even the Muslim secessionists and the government forces are already tired of continuous war and probably, they keep on fighting simply because they have to. Most importantly, the Christians and Muslims, soldiers and rebels either caught in crossfire or displaced, or doing their duty knows the feelings of pain and suffering. And regardless of religion, social and economic status, Mindanaoans would prefer to live harmoniously with each other given the chance.

And while rhetoric about the SC decision is interestingly going on across sectors, I wonder how the families of the 60 people reportedly were killed in the recent war keeps on going after such huge losses, and I wonder how the 600,000 displaced people are living their day- to- day situations in the various evacuation centers where they are housed. Do they have enough food to eat? Can they sleep well at night in their makeshift beds or probably in the grounds? Do they have at least a mat or a blanket to keep them warm in cold or rainy evenings and early mornings and do they have clothes to wear? It has been almost two months since they were displaced and as much as the local officials wanted to help their constituents do they have enough funds to do so? And how could the infants, toddlers, pregnant women, handicapped and senior citizens survive this man-made circumstances?

The DND Chief stated that they are ready to rumble http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081016-166596/Military-bracing-for-trouble-in-South). This is both good news(although sends chills as well most probably to the civilians both Muslims and Christians) alike in Mindanao because the government forces are ready and willing to give their limb and lives to defend the civilians from possible further atrocities from the MILF and defend the nation as mandated by the constitution. But when would these fighting stop? I just pray that the MILF would hold on to their promise(http://www.philstar.com/index.php?Opinion&p=49&type=2&sec=25 ) and the Supreme Court Decision would serve as “ eye opener” to all concerned.

Search for Other Avenues
As the military are preparing, further avenues are sought by many people from various sectors. (http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20081016-166596/Military-bracing-for-trouble-in-South) . Reports showed concerns for appeal as follows: Appeals for peace continued to be aired in the wake of the high court’s ruling on the MOA-AD.

In Cotabato City, Auxiliary Bishop Jose Colin Bagaforo expressed dissatisfaction with the ruling but expressed the hope that it would not be “the end of everything.”“Peace will still be attained in Mindanao,” Bagaforo said, adding that the government and the MILF only needed to explore other avenues to pursue peace.

Harumi Kitabayashi, deputy resident representative of the Japan International Cooperation Agency, told reporters his government was hopeful that the peace negotiations would resume soon. “My government is hoping that both sides will find a way to proceed with mutual understanding and cooperation,” Kitabayashi said during a visit to a Japan-funded project in the Autonomous Region in Muslim Mindanao.She said donor-countries wanted peace in Mindanao before putting in “more resources for economic development.”“Unfortunately it cannot be realized at the moment, but we are waiting,” she said.

In a long-distance call from Switzerland, where he is attending the annual assembly of the Inter-Parliamentary Union, Sen. Rodolfo Biazon said the government should promptly resume peace talks with the MILF. But this time, Biazon wants Indonesia to facilitate the peace talks.“I still maintain my position that the government should explore the possibility of the peace talks being resumed without foreign intervention. If, however, this is not possible, we should explore the proposition that another country be the broker of the peace process instead of Malaysia,” he said.Biazon, the chair of the Senate committee on national defense and security and a former AFP chief of staff, said Malaysia had “conflict of interest” in brokering the peace process because of the standing Philippine claim to the state of Sabah.

The same report stated the reactions of the very people responsible for seeking petition to stop the Peace Negotiating Panel to finalise the "agreement with MILF"since their constituents and their provincea are most affected. Their reactions to the Supreme Court decision are as follows: North Cotabato Vice Gov. Emmanuel Piñol, one of the petitioners against the MOA-AD, urged the government to “reassess and restudy” its position in relation to efforts to solve the so-called Mindanao conflict.“Now is the time to reassess the government’s position on whether to continue talking with the MILF, which does not recognize the Constitution,” Piñol told the Catholic-run Radio dxND in Kidapawan City.Zamboanga City Rep. Isabel Climaco also said the junking of the MOA-AD should make the government rethink its strategies.“The [high court’s] decision should become the government’s guide in talking with the MILF,” she said.Zamboanga City Mayor Celso Lobregat said the decision was “very providential” because it “saved the country from being dismembered.”

Cry Turns to Prayer for Peace
There is always a room for another chance, I believe and I hope both parties would finally sit down and talk to come up with a genuine solution for peace. Mindanao is beautiful- it has the promise of better life for its settlers due to its abundant natural resources- rich soil sunny skies and lovely landscapes and seascapes that could be relished by native settlers and visitors alike, once peace and order is no longer an issue. Lots of blood of both military and secessionist groups has been poured over the land many years and months back, or probably even before i was even born in its very soil- in the process of the search for peace. I hope that sometime in the near future, the lives of these men and women who fought gallantly with each other for the causes that they believed in would not go to waste.

Let us all give peace a chance, who knows, it might work this time?

And I hope that displaced residents just like the farmer who seem does to be quite unaffected by the very significant result of the Supreme Court ruling on MOA-AD mainly because he is focused to a much simpler yet seemingly unfulfilled wish- to be able to go home with his family. And may all others who are suffering or displaced due to once unfulfilled promise- of giving away parts of Mindanao would be able to go home to or with their families too, and go on with their lives.

And my cry for peace turns to a prayer for peace in Mindanao . I pray that it would become a promised land in its real meaning(as far as the peacemakers are concerned)- for it to be finally be peacefully and happily liveable, by Muslims, Christians, the indigenous peoples and migrants alike.

Rest

2008-10-20T03:10:00.000-07:00

"Come to me and I will give you rest"

-Jesus Christ

(The Holy Bible)

After lunch, i was too shocked to find out that Kuya( that's how Filipinos address an elder brother) Mario passed away last Friday. He is not my brother by consanguinity nor affinity but because i am close to his beloved, he is almost like a brother to me. I haven't seen him for a while although the last time i noticed that he can hardly walk. Unwell myself, i felt very bad for being unable to possibly say my final goodbye to him, thus instead of expressing my reaction to the Supreme Court's declaration that the MOA AD is unsconstitutional, this personal blog. I am uploading flowers for him because i may not have the chance to bring him some. I met him as a driver( he is good because i always take the passenger seat in front if he drives and i have seen how careful he could be even in the big highways during our long travels) but i want to remember him as a good cook. Treating me like his own kid sister, he would bring me fruits harvested from his farm and at times when he feels like it, he whips up various dishes, a lot of which are quite strange to me. At first i am hesitant to try but when i started eating up everything he prepares, i enjoyed them pretty much i voluntary forget that i am on a diet. One very memourable thing he did was when he bought fresh seaweeds that he thought i would like- of course i did and i remembered how he whipped it out to taste very well i ended up finishing the whole plate of salad because he said its good for my health.

His sudden death came as shock to all of us. Few friends remarked that at forty eight he is too young to die. I replied quoting my big brother's philosophy when we were kids. He has been a great risk taker in many ways giving much worry to mother. He said " if it is your time to die- wherever you are you have to go whether you are confined in the most expensive hospital's ICU with best doctors, or given the best care by loved ones in the comfort of your home- no human being can stop death nor postpone one's death no matter how rich or powerful he would be for it is the leveller of all humans." Thinking about the stillborn or the infant who died few days after being brought out from her mother's womb, or a child or someone in his "prime" days i guess my brother has a point. At forty eight, he probably has to go because it is destined to be or probably that is the will of Someone Up There who gave each of us humans- the gift of life. In one of the necrological services a homily impeccably described death as unprecedented or unexpected which comes " like a thief in the night". And i reckon life can be so fragile. When i saw Kuya Mario a month ago and noticed that he can hardly walk due to his swollen feet i never had an inkling that i would never see him again- alive. In essence one should enjoy life while it lasts- you'll never know when is your time to "go."

We have only noticed that he can hardly walk but those very close to him said that he has probably been suffering of an illness before and he secretly takes medicines. God in his infinite wisdom probably wanted to stop him from physical pains and sufferings so He took him in His arms to give him rest. Although i feel sad that i could not see him anymore in this earth, i rest in the thought that God knew the best for him- and that is to finally make him rest.

Farewell Kuya Mario, have a rest now.

Contentment

2008-10-15T01:19:00.000-07:00

"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach. One can only collect a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few"

- Anne Morrow Lindberg

A couple of friends and me visited a house of an elderly couple in a lovely island and these shells caught my attention. As a confessed beach babe, i have always relished to walk in the beach during early mornings after watching the sunrise and finding out if there are few shells that could take my fancy. Of course there are a lot of beautiful shells but taking them all would not be practical nor fun. When my first nephew was only three years old, i would take him to the beach on few mornings especially when i am about to leave them again. He would pick up anything that he fancies and with glee would give it to me like a surprise present with his eyes twinkling with joy. I never wanted to upset him so i have to take every shell that he handed me, and one time i have to pay for excess baggage because i could not bear leaving them behind considering the efforts and thoughtfulness displayed by the child in picking up those shells for me.

Even if i am alone in the beach(any beach for that matter) i still enjoy this " ritual" of walking and trying to find any shell that could delight me especially on my last day prior to going back to the city and i found it refreshing just like taking a dip on a warm summer. Back to the house that i visited where i took the pictures, i asked the couple where did they got them- and with a glimmer in his eyes the old man thoughfully said he picked it up for his wife when they were still sweethearts. So along the pictures comes that wonderful story from the beautiful couple who decided to grow old together and it thrills me to remember their shy smiles when i coaxed them to pose for a photo like they were still seventeen and so much in love with each other- well, in their advanced age they looked as if they are still very much in love! In this day and age where "going out" in a committment or relationship has become easy and acceptable, theirs is rarely special. And the shells that i have not really noticed to be beautiful while in the beach look special while they were placed in the pathway leading to their home.

On our way home, the thought of the shells made me smile continuously and i remembered the lovely quote on contentment. Yes, i can only collect a few shells on the beach, and they are more beautiful if they are few.

A River Runs Through It

2008-10-13T03:29:00.000-07:00

...the splendor of the grass

... a river in the countryside

...glory in the flower

photography by orange tulip

Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass
Of glory in the flower we will grieve not
Rather find strength in what remains behind
In the primal sympathy which having been must ever be

In the soothing thoughts that spring out of human suffering
In the faith that looks through death
Thanks to the human heart by which we live
Thanks to its tenderness its joys, its fears
To me the meanest flower that blows can give thoughts that do often lie
too deep for tears

-William Wordsworth 1807 Ode, Intimations of Immortality from Reflections of Early Childhood

These are the lines of a poetry that seemed to reconnect the father and son(Norman Maclean) after the son came home from college after six years from of being away from their village in Montana. He just received an offer to teach English literature in a university in Chicago. I found that scene of father and son alternately reciting the lines of such poem very touching. This is also one of the most memourable part of the movie released in 1992 when Bradd Pitt, one of the actors(playing Paul, the younger Maclean) was deliciously handsome thus his smiles as Paul in the movie has thrilled me to the nines. For Bradd playing Paul, the most memourable part i believe was when he got an extremely huge trout and in jest told his big brother and father" Three years i'll be thinking like a fish" which sadly did not happen. What i really adore in the movie beyond the acting and the gorgeous looks of Bradd are the long shots of the river, the countryside, the landscapes and the lifestyle since it was in a 20th century setting. For health reasons, I have to stay home for the meantime so i have nothing to do except having a complete bedrest, eating vegetables and fruits and at last, on Sunday afternoon watching dvds. I opted to watch those with Bradd Pitt among the actors- "Meet Joe Black" released in 1998 and the other one " A River Runs Through It" released in 1992( now- if Bradd is 44, then he must be 28 around 16 years ago, long before being an ex-husband of Jennifer and a father to Angelina's kids thus his deliciously handsome looks) which was based from the book written by Norman Macleanhttp://www.press.uchicago.edu/Misc/Chicago/500667.html the older of the two brothers who also became the narrator and started off the movie as an old man fishing in a river before doing a flashback of the " family story". I was wondering if it was a documentary but i was not surprised if it was a fiction that sounded a documentary- the way Robert Redford http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0105265/makes movies out of novels.

Paul, who became a writer for the local newspaper( the role was very appealing to me because as a child i wanted to be a journalist and a broadcaster, not or but both -alright but for some reason or another i went to a different field although i never forgot my love and flair for writing) got hooked to gambling, which led to the sad part of the story -he was killed one night and was thrown in the alley. Their father, after being informed by Norman that almost his bones were broken- particularly asked which hand was most broken and the elder son answered "the right hand" which made the father walk away in silent grief(the mother left in silence minutes earlier to grieve on her own perhaps). That beautiful hand held in all glory the big fish captured through the art of fly-fishing in the Bigfoot River on their last fishing together. I was wondering what would be the surprising twist of the story after Paul " perfected the art of fly-fishing" and while he was holding his trophy fish for a picture, savouring that moment Norman his elder brother said " And i knew just clearly and as surely that life is not a work of art and that a moment could not last."

Fishing is fun! I also had the chance to go fishing a few times- albeit in a man-made river with trouts grown for the purpose-but the thought of how quick the trout would pick the bait and the surprise and the excitement of seeing a fish, how large would it be, or who among my companions would beat me to having the first one to "fish" were enough for someone to forget probably anything or anyone for the meantime. Besides, driving to the fishing area seeing beautiful landscapes and vegetation along the way especially during autumn doubles the fun. Most importantly, it served as a good bonding time to people that significantly matter to me. This is one of the rare moments that i truly enjoy doing with my friends and this activity, in addition to frolicking in the snow or the beach are the moments that i truly miss.

In the case of Norman and Paul Maclean, it is really wonderful since they grew together and bonded much as brothers, sometimes along with their father doing fly-fishing. It was a good movie i think, although friends who have watched it in big screen in the past told me that they found it dragging. Well, as long as the extremely lovely smile of Bradd is shown from time to time i have a reason to enjoy the film. It ended on a good note as their father did a remarkable preaching few years before his own death in their old Presbyterian church, as Norman puts it- with Paul in his thoughts:

"It is true we can help those closest to us
Either we don't know what part of ourselves to give
Or more often than not, the part we have to give and is not wanted
So it is those we live with and should know who elude us
But we can still love them

We can love completely without complete understanding"

And after watching the film, " A River Runs Through It" getting thrilled everytime Bradd Pitt smiles as Paul and enjoying the countryside landscapes, the beautiful sound of running waters and refreshing sight of the river- i have learned very important things: to find strength in what remains behind, to have faith that looks through death and to love completely-without complete understanding.

Wordless Blog

2008-10-11T09:00:00.000-07:00

“Each one has to find his peace from within.

And peace to be real must be unaffected by outside circumstances.”
- Mahatma Gandhi
(Indian Philosopher, internationally esteemed for his doctrine of nonviolent protest, 1869-1948)

Catherine's Day

2008-10-10T02:43:00.000-07:00

this is Melbourne

a rare orchid- Vanda sanderiana, probaly as rare as Cath

tropical flowers-orange marigold to make Cath smile

another tropical flower " Bird of Paradise" for Cath's day

all photos were taken by orange tulip

Today is my dear sister, friend and soprano leader(Colours of Praise Gospel Choir) Catherine which we fondly call “ Cath”. She is a very beautiful person, inside and out. Her smiles, hugs or gentle pats on my shoulder have in many ways encouraged me to go on despite some difficulties that I hurdled emotionally and psychologically while taking Political Science in Melbourne University. It was a huge choir with lots of individual concerns being highly multiracial and multicultural, and she kept us-the sopranos together by her words and actions of encouragements. She faithfully does these stuff during Tuesday rehearsals and follows it up with email updates when one or few misses a rehearsal and gets worried when someone does not turn up successive weeks on rehearsals. She is very much concerned to us as " sopranos" and equally concerned to the entire music and creative arts ministry where she is s huge blessing not only to the ministry but to the entire church as well.

She has a gift of making everyone “ feel special” as she- with genuine care and love probably finds it effortlesss in saying “ hi” to us girls before or after each rehearsals and taps our shoulders , smile or hug each within her reach after every singing on Sunday mornings. I had great time singing with this choir because of the many encouragements from my leaders, Leah when I was starting then Cath with whom i became very close. She is capable of noticing that someone or me for one, is not on “my usual self “ and finds her way to speak without really intruding when someone is undergoing or when i was in difficult times. She is a good listener, cares a lot and willingly prays for my worries. There was a time when I refused to talk to anyone of my friends except her- and she has helped me a lot to “ keep holding up” despite the many confusing and difficult circumstances in my life- including my personal and family concerns( there was a most difficult time for me when my big brother has to undergo a neurosurgery and largely affected my academic performance as i was losing focus and after praying for me and my brother back home i had a good sleep as she reminded me to keep trusting God no matter what). With Cath, I never hesitated to “ open up” for she has always been very kind and willing to help in many ways.

I had spent quite a number of summers, winters, autumn and spring with her as a choir member but i had exceptional memories of her. First-when she lovingly took the time to pray for my personal concerns one Tuesday night. Second-when I was(along with few soprano friends) invited to witness their union one Saturday afternoon in Anglican Church where she is at her “most beautiful day to behold” as a bride to Mark, a handsome and talented musician also with the Creative Arts Ministry. I was very thrilled to the nines while watching them march to the altar, exchange vows and when they shared their first kiss as husband and wife. The old pastor was perfectly right when upon the announcement of their engagement in the church he said” they will play great music together". Indeed, the Lord has been so good in making them for each other. They look very much happy with each other and along with my friends, we wished them well on their special day. This couple has been a joyful encouragement to us in the creative ministry. Third-when i had the chance to chill-out with the soprano girls while Cath’s then new husband was away. It was a night without any choir rehearsals at all and we watched the “ Australian Idol” finals in their apartment in the suburbs. It was quite a long ride for me in the train and another long walk before finally arriving to their place but it was well much worth it. After partaking the dinner which we ordered from an Asian restaurant, I got a taste of Cath’s cake lovingly baked for the girls. Sweet tooth as I am, I loved having a large portion, well probably the largest share when some girls wanted to have just a bite as some were on a “ diet”. We were rooting for someone else to be the “ Idol” but another emerged as a winner. Regardless, we had tremendous fun as it was a night different from many nights- it was a night of bonding and building stronger friendships and relationships with each other, appreciating and celebrating each individuality yet enjoying the company of each other despite our varied backgrounds. Probably the only thing common to us was- our hearts were happy singing for our Creator’s glory.

Happy birthday my dear Cath, thanks very much for being a very huge blessing to me in many special ways. Many happy returns for the day.

Rachel and Lizzie's Day

2008-10-08T08:00:00.000-07:00

Melbourne Federation Square, one of my fave spots, photo by orange tulip

tropical flowers- orchids for the birthday girls , photo by orange tulip

spring blooms-pink and orange tulips for the birthday girls, photo by Primo

Today is the birthday of my friends, the lovely and cheerful twin sisters Rachel and Elizabeth. I have and they have treated me like their own sister and readily gave me their sweet and assuring smiles during choral rehearsals and actual singing with the Colours of Praise Gospel Choir which pretty much put my perspectives, values and beliefs in order while studying Down Under. I always have fond memories of Melbourne because of my very enjoyable stay and studies but most importantly, because of singing with this choir which in many ways have become my family while i was away from my own. Tuesday night rehearsals and Sundays singing and spending time with my choir friends have made my life in Melbourne more fun, memourable and most meaningful.

Rachel and Lizzie are identical twins but i had the privilege of knowing both a little closer thus was able to recognise their little differences in some ways, the way they dress, talk, smile and hug me differ but both exudes the unconditional love which is a mirror of the author and finisher of our faith, Jesus Christ. I was among the few who was honoured to be invited in their barbe party on my last year in the university and even if i missed going to their party due to sudden school works, i was not treated ill nor loved less. Thank you very much and God bless you both and your adourable family too. Until we meet again and hope that it would be soon!

Happy birthday dear Rachel and Lizzie! Many happy returns of the day! Keep on singing and blessing others- as you in many ways have blessed me and many others.